anyone got a good joke or story - I need a lift!
Cheer me up someone!
anyone got a good joke or story - I need a lift!
Seek and you shall find!
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My oul lad once used flash wipes on his arse before thinking they were those Andrex fresh wipes, true as God
I WAS SENT BY HIM WHO IS CALLED I AM
Dr Ms nonpareil (23-05-15), tom sand (22-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)
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did you hear about the man who lost his left leg and arm?
He's alright now.
What if "It's Raining Men" and 'Let the bodies hit the floor' are both about the same event but from different perspectives 🤔
Clyde (22-05-15), Flappy (22-05-15), Meursault (21-05-15), Playitsam (21-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), TiffanyTees (22-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)
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how many potatoes does it take to kill an irish man?
None
"The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation" - Henry David Thoreau.
nonpareil (21-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)
What you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool
Bob
Hi all thanks for the replies from nice ones to fairly fucked up ones ! Any more?
Seek and you shall find!
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bloke goes into bakery, asks how much are the Donuts. Two for a Euro the baker said...'how much is one '? One is 75c said the baker...the bloke said..'give me the other one so'....boom
Cassandra (22-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), UB40 (22-05-15)
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I never get tired of this one:
What if "It's Raining Men" and 'Let the bodies hit the floor' are both about the same event but from different perspectives 🤔
UB40 are playing daytripper in July !!!Originally Posted by UB40
It made me laugh when I heard.
UB40 (22-05-15)
An attractive blonde from Ireland arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed.
"Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered,
"I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
..... but all men...are men!
_______________________________________________
Naughtynatalie (23-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), tom sand (22-05-15), UB40 (22-05-15)
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