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Thread: Cheer me up someone!

  1. #1
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    Default Cheer me up someone!

    anyone got a good joke or story - I need a lift!
    Seek and you shall find!

  2. #2
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    My oul lad once used flash wipes on his arse before thinking they were those Andrex fresh wipes, true as God
    I WAS SENT BY HIM WHO IS CALLED I AM

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kenton For This Useful Post:

    Dr Ms nonpareil (23-05-15), irishdeltaforce (21-05-15), tom sand (22-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)

  4. #3
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    did you hear about the man who lost his left leg and arm?


    He's alright now.
    C'est Moi

  5. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Cassandra For This Useful Post:

    Clyde (22-05-15), Flappy (22-05-15), Meursault (21-05-15), Playitsam (21-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), TiffanyTees (22-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)

  6. #4
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    how many potatoes does it take to kill an irish man?

    None

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  8. #5
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    Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
    A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

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    irishdeltaforce (21-05-15), Meursault (21-05-15), nonpareil (21-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)

  10. #6
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    What do you call a Kerry man under a wheelbarrow?..........................................A Mechanic

    What do you call a Kerry man under a wheelbarrow with a fag in his mouth?.........A welder

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Muds For This Useful Post:

    slavetoyou (24-05-15), tom sand (22-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)

  12. #7
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    Never thought i would cry and laugh at the same time till the Mrs. Says to me ......" you have a bigger cock than ur brother "

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    UB40 (21-05-15)

  14. #8
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    What you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool

    Bob

  15. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Playitsam For This Useful Post:

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  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Playitsam View Post
    What you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool

    Bob


    A man with no arms and no legs is lying on a beach. A hot girl walks by and he says:-
    I have no arms and no legs and I never saw a pair of boobs so the girl flashes her boobs and he is delighted.

    Another hot girl walks by some time later and he says:-
    I have no arms and no legs and I have never been kissed so the girl bends over and gives him a long deep kiss and he is delighted.

    Another girl walks up and he says:-
    I have no arms and no legs and I have never been fucked so the girl bends over and picks him up walks to the sea and throws him in and she says:-
    Well your fairly fucked now

  17. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Muds For This Useful Post:

    Cassandra (21-05-15), Meursault (21-05-15), nonpareil (21-05-15), Prickly (22-05-15), slavetoyou (24-05-15), UB40 (21-05-15)

  18. #10
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    Hi all thanks for the replies from nice ones to fairly fucked up ones ! Any more?
    Seek and you shall find!

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