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Thread: Why do we long for sex so much?

  1. #1
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    Default Why do we long for sex so much?

    someone said here that only 5% of men visit escorts!

    What do the other 95% do!

    I presume that some have a low sex drive and don't need it, others are too shy to visit escorts, others have a happy sex life away from escorts, others don't want to spend money on such services - what have I missed?
    Seek and you shall find!

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    we are programmed from millions of years of evolution to want it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UB40 View Post
    someone said here that only 5% of men visit escorts!

    What do the other 95% do!

    I presume that some have a low sex drive and don't need it, others are too shy to visit escorts, others have a happy sex life away from escorts, others don't want to spend money on such services - what have I missed?
    Just read something today that suggested that because it was hard to get statistics about sex-work, this statistic could easily be wrong.
    Could be as high as 80%

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    If it wasn't for sex, the entire human race would not exist.

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    there would be disparity(in statistics) between the number of men who regularly visit and those who do it once every blue moon.

    5-10% regularly
    80% have visited at least once etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meursault View Post
    we are programmed from millions of years of evolution to want it.
    Natural instinct absolutely. Freud believed that our instinct was to fulfill our desires and as we go through puberty it is the strongest desire to both men and women.

    I would say you left out those that are not able to due to disability, either they rely on someone else or they are not able to organise it without someone else getting involved (parent/guardian) etc.

    There are also those that are full time carers and don't have time to themselves enough to book a time away from their responsibilities.

    I think something that people tend to not consider with regards to women using sex workers, is that there is huge stigma on women who enjoy sex, let alone the idea of paying for it. Women if they see men for sex and not as a partner are called all the names under the sun, so it is likely pride, prejudice, sexism and similar things that stop them for looking that way, as well as the fact that there is always a willing man ready to have sex with a woman who wants sex, even when she is not available for anything more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CurvaceousKate View Post

    I think something that people tend to not consider with regards to women using sex workers, is that there is huge stigma on women who enjoy sex, let alone the idea of paying for it. Women if they see men for sex and not as a partner are called all the names under the sun, so it is likely pride, prejudice, sexism and similar things that stop them for looking that way, as well as the fact that there is always a willing man ready to have sex with a woman who wants sex, even when she is not available for anything more.
    yea i totally agree. society is repressed said freud because we want to live and do certain things, but the potential labeling from the herd that we would get (especially women) from doing it, prevents them from doing so.

    men and women are under pressure to conform, but women more so i believe. If a woman doesnt marry and doesnt bear children, mammy and daddy wont be impressed.

    I was on another forum saying this. do people want to date and marry because they want to do it or because everyone else is doing it and one is almost expected to follow. Its a bit of both. Marriage just happens to be the model that the majority have adopted.

    for instance there was a guy who said: his girlfriend told him when they were 28ish that if they werent married in three years time, she was breaking up with him. from what i could discern she was under pressure from society (family and peers) to get married so she could win their acclaim. so she could remain part of the herd.

    in trying to plan our lives, we sort of end up not living. (not you, you seem smart, but people in general) but then again there are some people who enjoy each others company and really do wish to get married etc. but then again, if two people really love each other, they dont really need marriage to consumate it other than the tax incentives.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meursault View Post
    yea i totally agree. society is repressed said freud because we want to live and do certain things, but the potential labeling from the herd that we would get (especially women) from doing it, prevents them from doing so.

    men and women are under pressure to conform, but women more so i believe. If a woman doesnt marry and doesnt bear children, mammy and daddy wont be impressed.

    I was on another forum saying this. do people want to date and marry because they want to do it or because everyone else is doing it and one is almost expected to follow. Its a bit of both. Marriage just happens to be the model that the majority have adopted.

    for instance there was a guy who said: his girlfriend told him when they were 28ish that if they werent married in three years time, she was breaking up with him. from what i could discern she was under pressure from society (family and peers) to get married so she could win their acclaim. so she could remain part of the herd.

    in trying to plan our lives, we sort of end up not living. (not you, you seem smart, but people in general) but then again there are some people who enjoy each others company and really do wish to get married etc. but then again, if two people really love each other, they dont really need marriage to consumate it other than the tax incentives.
    I'm not that smart, I was married at 21. I have however, learnt from my mistakes and I would not get married again, but that doesn't mean I would not be in a meaningful relationship.

    I guess women also have that biological clock ticking that they have to listen to if they want children and when I got married I wanted like 5 and I wanted to be like my Gran and Grandad who had been together forever and do all those things.

    That was way before I knew about sex mind and I didn't know that for me sex would very much be connected to my emotions with my partner.

    I think it is a good thing that people tend to have their children later in life these days, as it gives you a chance to understand these kind of things before you settle down and commit to the partner of your children and I do think that children are better off when both parents involved, as long as both parents are a positive influence.

    I also think that sex is an important factor in a relationship and although things do often change and you can't predict illness and stuff like that, it is good to know that you are both on a similar playing field to start with, with regards to libido and tastes, which means that at least you will understand each other if things change and not be as selfish as some people tend to be in relationships these days.

    I still don't get it when guys tell me they had a great sex life before the kids, but as soon as they stopped having kids it all stopped. Does that mean that the sex was always one sided? Did their partner not really enjoy it and it was all faked? Why do they stop? Is it because they believe it is wrong or because they don't enjoy it? So many questions unanswered or ever asked, just accepted.
    Last edited by CurvaceousKate; 15-05-15 at 21:09.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CurvaceousKate View Post
    Natural instinct absolutely. Freud believed that our instinct was to fulfill our desires and as we go through puberty it is the strongest desire to both men and women.

    I would say you left out those that are not able to due to disability, either they rely on someone else or they are not able to organise it without someone else getting involved (parent/guardian) etc.

    There are also those that are full time carers and don't have time to themselves enough to book a time away from their responsibilities.

    I think something that people tend to not consider with regards to women using sex workers, is that there is huge stigma on women who enjoy sex, let alone the idea of paying for it. Women if they see men for sex and not as a partner are called all the names under the sun, so it is likely pride, prejudice, sexism and similar things that stop them for looking that way, as well as the fact that there is always a willing man ready to have sex with a woman who wants sex, even when she is not available for anything more.
    today's media portrayal woman as using sex as a tool to control men
    as if woman don't like sex

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    Pain stops us getting damaged.
    Hunger stops us starving to death.
    Fear keeps us from danger.
    Urge to have sex keeps the species procreated. Of course, as we evolved, these instincts became more complex, but that is still the basis of them.

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