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Thread: Skidmark Alert

  1. #1
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    Default Skidmark Alert

    Just to lighten the mood, did any of the escorts here ever get a guys jocks off, only to find he had pulled a hand brake turn in his under crackers ( thats a pooh mark to everbody ), even if the lad has a shower, you just know that he's a non arse wiping smelly bugger, what a knacker, or worse, and here's the big one, did any of the ladies ever find themselves in the same position, surely not.....For the record, i am wonderously clean

  2. #2
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    Default

    Yesss,....................and he left stains on my sheet as he sat down
    I m still lurking sometimes ;-)

  3. #3
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    Default

    I once went to an escort and she had a very smelly fanny, it was'nt very pleasant, i think that she wanted me to go down on her but her minge was kicking out a right pong, i told her so to. I have also experienced the sight of bum bum sheets, were some dirty boy has rubbed his grotty botty against the sheet and left his calling card for me to see.

  4. #4
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    Default Well obviously her diet isnt good

    Quote Originally Posted by Dub-Boy View Post
    I once went to an escort and she had a very smelly fanny, it was'nt very pleasant, i think that she wanted me to go down on her but her minge was kicking out a right pong, i told her so to. I have also experienced the sight of bum bum sheets, were some dirty boy has rubbed his grotty botty against the sheet and left his calling card for me to see.
    If a girl has a smelly fanny (also if men have smelly cocks) It could any of these reasons:

    1. bad hygiene
    2. Too much meat or fish in diet
    3. Too much junk food - Aspartame (artificial sweetner) makes a weird taste in precum
    4. Yeast Infection. This one will surely taste disgusting
    5. Bad health overall. The body is made to dispose of badness. It will use any outlet it can to rid itself of badness. This will affect sweat, and any body liquids, breath, saliva, will come out pores of skin...

    To change the diet to a healthy one will affect all aspects of the body. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend (husband or wife) who is smelly. Rather then tell them and hurt their feelings (if at all possible) I suggest cooking dinners for them to show healthy food into their diet. Be an influence. Eat those good foods in front of them. Mention "doesnt my cum taste lovely? Ive been eating really healthy for you. Lots of veggies, fruits, juices, and water. Because I want you to enjoy my taste, I make sure I eat and live healthy for your benefit as well as my own"

    Bingo!

    I think she will get a clue then...

    As for skid marks. Well, occasionally seeing such things, is all part of the job. Sorry, but as an escort, I have a hard time being squeamish about most things. My friend gets paid anyway to give enemas to men. About $600 for it. At least he is clean then right? Spic-N-Span for the next escort... and will definitely not be leaving those marks on escort 2's bed linen. So give thanks next time your at mass... thanks for the enema givers!
    Last edited by DollyDarling; 04-01-09 at 23:36.

  5. Default

    I hear pineapple is good for making cum taste better.

  6. #6
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    Default Thats right Dave

    Quote Originally Posted by Corkdave View Post
    I hear pineapple is good for making cum taste better.
    Drink up Dave! Drink your pineapple juice and Im sure every women will want you to shoot your sweet cum in her mouth (or at least this Dolly will want you to shoot your sweet cum in my mouth)

  7. #7
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    Default

    Can i get my daily allowance of pineapple juice through pina colada's, and if so, how many would i have to take?

  8. #8
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    Default No excuse for bad hygiene.

    I've met these blokes who don't wash & can't get my head around it. Why would anyone want to hum ? You filthy buggers !
    Fellas who'll play ball for 1 1/2 hrs & then put clothes on & go to the pub ?????????
    I can understand people being a bit shy etc. but go home & jump under the taps before going out.
    As for cum, I always notice my uncle punk is a bit more ripe when I've had a skinfull the day before. Real funky, I must have a hangover for Dolly.

    Open wide dear,
    TheNads

  9. #9
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    Default Skid marks!!!

    OMG......Although this is funny, I find it hard to believe tht there are still adults in the wrld tht do not know how to clean thier own ass. FFS ......Ladies if they cant clean thier bum do you really think they deserve to be spending time in your company?

    But in saying tht I once heard of a certain escort who didnt offer a shower to her clients, but instead offered baby wipes! (thts a knacker shower). So luks like it swings both ways.

  10. #10
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    Default true story

    I met an Asian woman few months ago & when she comes down my way we meet up for a while, shes a real beaut but sex mad, 2 weeks ago I asked her to leave me her knickers she had worn since the previous day off I went home with her knickers in a bag, I take them outa the bag to get the most beautiful smell I spread out the knickers it has a lengthy shit stain on it! Beautiful women dont necessarily have the cleanest underwear

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