Bullying!

[Naughtynatalie]

I do agree with what you are saying, but I think in these cases the superior strength comes in numbers. As in support for the person who is being unreasonable in order to wind someone up and get a rise. This can be seen how one person can say something that is parallel to another and you see two totally different reactions.

i.e. Two girls may be doing a little touting for some 'fun' and a to pass the time away and no one bats an eye lid and in fact everyone has a good bit of banter, then someone else does it and they get crucified for it. It's never just one person that has a go, it's several and from both sides of the fence.

The problem is, it spoils it for everyone, as we are all witness to these spats and it takes the fun out of the site. It's a shame people can't just ignore the threads they are not interested in and enjoy the site with the people they do like. Live and let live.

I agree with you Kate. I do also think though that sometimes its said that people are ganging up on others when that's not necessarily the case. There just happens to be a dislike of someone be it for their posting style or how they come across here.
That mutual dislike is then construed as ganging up. Also I see Amy has read my mind as I was going to add some people don't know when to let it go & strive to have the last word which only escalates the situation.
I know I have disliked a post or comment & responded, then been lumped in with 'the mob' when I am so not on anyone's side but my own.

Ah sure t'is the internet & there is always going to be disagreements between people. I was just sick of seeing the word 'bully' bandied around when they are all as bad as each other x

I totally agree with you Kate especially the highlighted bit,
I also see that when people get involved in threads just to poke fun its gets nasty, from BOTH sides and no one will let go they all just have to have the last word.

Agreed x

[SmallHorn]

I disagree with this whole thread.

I think its aimed at me.

[nonpareil]

Last person to post wins.

[bettercallsaul]

I disagree with this whole thread.

I think its aimed at me.

I have no idea,I am just glad I am not being blamed for once...

[Naughtynatalie]

I disagree with this whole thread.

I think its aimed at me.

You'd think right. Bored of you crying like a bitch about being bullied. Man up ffs!

[SmallHorn]

You'd think right. Bored of you crying like a bitch about being bullied. Man up ffs!

K






Now...... Point made

[Curvaceous Kate]

I agree with you Kate. I do also think though that sometimes its said that people are ganging up on others when that's not necessarily the case. There just happens to be a dislike of someone be it for their posting style or how they come across here.
That mutual dislike is then construed as ganging up. Also I see Amy has read my mind as I was going to add some people don't know when to let it go & strive to have the last word which only escalates the situation.
I know I have disliked a post or comment & responded, then been lumped in with 'the mob' when I am so not on anyone's side but my own.

Ah sure t'is the internet & there is always going to be disagreements between people. I was just sick of seeing the word 'bully' bandied around when they are all as bad as each other x



Agreed x

I know what you are saying there, but maybe a little restraint needs to be exercised now and again. I've seen some posts where I can see it getting nasty and I may actually agree with the sentiment of the stronger side, but how does it help if I contribute with the same sentiment? It just keeps the ball rolling. Sometimes it's better to say nothing and use the thank you button to show your agreement.

I suppose it's a case of knowing where to draw the line and sometimes that's before you've even started if you arrive at a thread that's already in full flow.

I've also noticed a few posters that do pull back when they see it turning bad, so it's not everyone and it is good to see who does have empathy for others.

I know this is just a forum and not real life, but people do commit suicide because of situations that get out of hand online, people do take things to heart and like it or not some people using sites like this will be emotionally vulnerable. It's all very well telling them they shouldn't be here if they can't take the heat, but this might be their life line and in a sad way, also their decent.

Just think twice before posting is what I'm trying to say I guess. Is what you're about to type funny or belittling? etc.

[Naughtynatalie]

I know what you are saying there, but maybe a little restraint needs to be exercised now and again. I've seen some posts where I can see it getting nasty and I may actually agree with the sentiment of the stronger side, but how does it help if I contribute with the same sentiment? It just keeps the ball rolling. Sometimes it's better to say nothing and use the thank you button to show your agreement.

I suppose it's a case of knowing where to draw the line and sometimes that's before you've even started if you arrive at a thread that's already in full flow.

I've also noticed a few posters that do pull back when they see it turning bad, so it's not everyone and it is good to see who does have empathy for others.

I know this is just a forum and not real life, but people do commit suicide because of situations that get out of hand online, people do take things to heart and like it or not some people using sites like this will be emotionally vulnerable. It's all very well telling them they shouldn't be here if they can't take the heat, but this might be their life line and in a sad way, also their decent.

Just think twice before posting is what I'm trying to say I guess. Is what you're about to type funny or belittling? etc.

Oh course restraint should be shown but sadly that doesn't seem to be the way of some forums & social media sites!
I dont do nasty posts & tend to try to use humour to diffuse them if I see them or just dont get involved. So I am agreed that it doesn't help to contribute with the same sentiment which is why I dont.

I know of suicides through online bullying & its so sad obviously but on this occasion I dont believe any of the posters on either side of the fence are vulnerable to that degree. I could be wrong obviously & would hate to think of anyone feeling so low that it would come to that. Maybe there is posts I've missed for you to make that comment!
But what I have witnessed here, I see protagonists on both sides, not vulnerable forum members.
So the point of my OP is dont play the victim, it's a bit lame, hence my comment if they cant take it then maybe forums aren't for them & I stand by that on this occasion.

In general obviously I know there are vulnerable people on these sites as there are on every site & I would never dream of telling them to just get over it or get offline. It is a valuable lifeline for some.

To me your post is basically common sense but as we know common sense is anything but common

I will add, I know my sense of humour is dark so may be misconstrued & if there is anyone that thinks I have bullied anyone please feel free to pull me up on it & I will discuss it with them. Unless its BSC, Smallhorn or Willie Wacker, they dont count

[Curvaceous Kate]

Oh course restraint should be shown but sadly that doesn't seem to be the way of some forums & social media sites!
I dont do nasty posts & tend to try to use humour to diffuse them if I see them or just dont get involved. So I am agreed that it doesn't help to contribute with the same sentiment which is why I dont.

I know of suicides through online bullying & its so sad obviously but on this occasion I dont believe any of the posters on either side of the fence are vulnerable to that degree. I could be wrong obviously & would hate to think of anyone feeling so low that it would come to that. Maybe there is posts I've missed for you to make that comment!
But what I have witnessed here, I see protagonists on both sides, not vulnerable forum members.
So the point of my OP is dont play the victim, it's a bit lame, hence my comment if they cant take it then maybe forums aren't for them & I stand by that on this occasion.

In general obviously I know there are vulnerable people on these sites as there are on every site & I would never dream of telling them to just get over it or get offline. It is a valuable lifeline for some.

To me your post is basically common sense but as we know common sense is anything but common

I will add, I know my sense of humour is dark so may be misconstrued & if there is anyone that thinks I have bullied anyone please feel free to pull me up on it & I will discuss it with them. Unless its BSC, Smallhorn or Willie Wacker, they dont count

I've watched your posting Nat and if anything it is generally diffusing and taking the heat off others, by taking the mickey out of the ones that are winding up in a light hearted fashion. Actually often it has nothing to do with the thread at all lol, which is funny. I'm certainly not trying to point the finger at anyone, as it would be unfair, as this kind of stuff has been going on for years and some weren't even here then.

It's very hard to know what people are going through in their personal life due to the nature of the forum (the irony of it!) So very hard to know what state of mind anyone is in. I think it's always best to err on the side of caution and assume it could tip them over, than trust it won't. (unless you have met in person and feel you know them well enough).

[dr love]

Ohhhh jezzzee I need this thread , like a hole in me head :

















I jest of course .: doc