Yudda, Yudda, Yudda - I go away for a few days and what happens?

[Hot Lizzy]

The Swallow or Spit Queen is back and shocked to see that the Soap Opera Section has become very boring - so it's time to spruce it up.

Firstly i would like to say if there is already a swallow or spit queen on here, sorry but its my new tag now so nerrr.

I see there are people working in some strange towns, one called Portaloo - Just thought i would let you know i won't be doing my retirement tour there, be using it for other things for the obvious reasons - lets face it - it aint the mile high its a portable toilet. Yeah before some smart Alec tells me its not spelt that way, i do know its a JOKE.

Waterford, thought that was a place that made Glasses, guess that folk go there now and not to Spec Savers.

Victor Manzi Panzi, for godsakes, no rush, no lies, no regrets........Just get on with the bloody job - it all just to boring now, the guys don't like the rushing, but the lies are what come with the job as for the regrets, - what would make someone regret seeing you if they had a good time.........Find a new tag line cos we are all bored with that.

Ballsbridge, Ballsbridge........come on is that the best name anyone could come up with for a town - yikes - don't think i will be doing my retirement tour there either.

Loving some of the new characters on here and for those of you that think that scum bag Nick is my son he is no son of mine........Poor old Dotty worked her socks off turning tricks in Cork.......but then as Brucie would say - Didn't she do well - still nothing for a pair not in this game........

Be writing the life and times of this Swallow or Spit Queen for you all to read soon - no real names - just all gonna be called Tom, Dick or Paddy to keep their I.D.'s secret but i must say one thing - the fellas in Cork really do have something to offer a Lady......and i would like to thank lots of you that brought me Chrissie Presents - really nice of you, hope you enjoyed your Champers with the Mince Pies and the other little Nibbles.

Swallow or Spit.........thats the question? Do you or don't you........Listerine Liz xx

[Ron n Reg]

Talk about a breathe of fresh air. Welcome back Lizbet, btw I spit but ron swallows .

[Clint Eastwood]

You gay feckers, your no better than wee Eoghan and Lewis Walsh. Cant you see Elizabeth is watching Brucie on cum dancing.

[Hot Lizzy]

You gay feckers, your no better than wee Eoghan and Lewis Walsh. Cant you see Elizabeth is watching Brucie on cum dancing.

Damn its exciting.........wow.............who the hell is this person calling themselves Eoghan..........where is he from, is he a friend of Carlos - another filthy Johnny Foreigner.

Have you seen Ronan Keatings wife - wow, what a ginger and all the kids are gingers too -all they need now is to get a poodle and die it, opps careful old Clarence doesn't get there before them.

Where is Clarence these days.

The retiring spit or swallow escort queen - retiring in every town near you. Soon or maybe not so soon......... xxx Lizzy

[Clint Eastwood]

That wee lad from Londonderry that was on the X factor Elizabeth. Clarence went away with Babs to get her hair done 2 days ago. Hasnt been seen since.

[Hot Lizzy]

That wee lad from Londonderry that was on the X factor Elizabeth. Clarence went away with Babs to get her hair done 2 days ago. Hasnt been seen since.

I mean does anyone really care who he is cos he didn't win now did he - lets be honest.

As for Babs thats terrible im very worried.............you think Ron and Reg have her somewhere working her out in Kings Cross.........£5 for a hand job and a whole £10 for a blow job..........

xxxxxxx Lizzy xxxxxx

[Clint Eastwood]

The Irish all like wee Eoghan even though he is a woofter. Te Brits probably wouldnt be too fond of him I suppose.

No it was Nick Cotton who took her. He's pimping her out now. But the prices you mentioned are correct.

[Hot Lizzy]

The Irish all like wee Eoghan even though he is a woofter. Te Brits probably wouldnt be too fond of him I suppose.

No it was Nick Cotton who took her. He's pimping her out now. But the prices you mentioned are correct.

I know cos thats what she has always charged and with a mouth like hers really the best place for her is in the sewers..........Ohhhhhhhh Mr Eastwood, you are awful, but i like you.


Your Brit Bird.......Got no time for these pint sized woofters........Won't be long before he is Steven Gateley's bitch........unless Ronan gets there first - ohhhhhhh all these paddy boy bands, just too many.......what about those others, what are they called 'Pond Life' something like that im sure. Oh you can't beat those lovely 'Take that Boys'

Ta ta Mr Eastwood.......... none of that filthy gangster rap bands please....... xxx Lizzy

[Clint Eastwood]

Take That are woofters also. Mark Owen and Howard the brush are having an affair for years. Their not called Take That for nothing.

[Hot Lizzy]

Take That are woofters also. Mark Owen and Howard the brush are having an affair for years. Their not called Take That for nothing.

Sorry hun, Mark and Howard aren't and never have had a little bit of swinging cos i know mark really well, lives next door to my best mate and calls us out into the garden to have a ciggie when he is having one - hes a really sweetie....... and his Mrs. Just had their second ikkle baby.......ahhhhhhhh sweet. Mind wont be long before either of his children are taller than him bless.

Still those swingers are generally short arses, take Danny de Vito - prime example and another thats all of 5'7.........i mean thats a girlie height!!!! Forgotten his name - oh how quickly we forget........ He he he..........