It's all an act...

[Curvaceous Kate]

Of course there is a performance being put on for us clients! Lets's face it, it can't really be accepted as "normal" knocking on a total strangers door, being allowed inside and within minutes both parties ending up naked and playing with each others bodies!

Is it a total performance? well, I am sure that would depend on each encounter. I am sure you can not generalise on this. The lady may not be feeling great, we all feel down from time to time but she wants you to have a good time so she will put a big effort into making sure the client is having a good time.

This is nothing unique to escorts — if you go to a restaurant your waiter will come over smiling and talk nicely to you and do everything they can to make sure you enjoy your meal. This is what we want from a service industry. Is the waiter acting? Possibly. Should we not go to restaurants now because these people are acting and we are taking advantage of them? There is always an element of a performance taking place when it comes to any service industry. Do all these people hate their jobs? Some may, many don't! Do we hate all these people? No, so why would we hate escorts? This make no sense.

As for not being able to make a stable relationship in the "real world"? It is not just a case of walking out the door and meeting someone who is your perfect match — there is no scientific method one can use, it is purely down to chance — and chance is not something one can prepare for or schedule into ones life. Just because someone is not in a relationship does not make them a failure — it's just a fact of being human.

I think you are confusing 'performance' with 'consent'. Sure we meet a lot of people we don't know and it's an unusual circumstance, but the minute we agree to the booking, we are mentally preparing ourselves for what we are going to do and getting ourselves in the right frame of mind. For me the kiss is very important, as that gets my body reacting, but right from the start I know I'm going to spend time with someone who finds me attractive and wants to spend time with me, so why shouldn't we have fun together? The money is what brought us together, it is what is going to pay my bills, but that doesn't mean we can't make a connection, enjoy each others company or have a good time.

Ultimately we have control and if we work within our boundaries, we should be able to enjoy the experience too. Even if at the end it is to think, 'What a nice bloke'.

[Petros]

I think you are confusing 'performance' with 'consent'. Sure we meet a lot of people we don't know and it's an unusual circumstance, but the minute we agree to the booking, we are mentally preparing ourselves for what we are going to do and getting ourselves in the right frame of mind. For me the kiss is very important, as that gets my body reacting, but right from the start I know I'm going to spend time with someone who finds me attractive and wants to spend time with me, so why shouldn't we have fun together? The money is what brought us together, it is what is going to pay my bills, but that doesn't mean we can't make a connection, enjoy each others company or have a good time.

Ultimately we have control and if we work within our boundaries, we should be able to enjoy the experience too. Even if at the end it is to think, 'What a nice bloke'.

Kate, the "consent" element has nothing to do with what I said. I don't think I am confusing the two. Neither am I saying that the lady is being totally fake and it is all a performance.

I am merely saying that there is an element of performance involved. I once met a lovely lady and had a great time with her. She was all smiles etc. and we had a great time together. I met her a second time a few weeks later and it was equally as good but this time she apologised for the first time we met and thanked me for returning — apparently about 20 minutes before I arrived the first time she developed a headache. She took some paracetamol and put on a brave face when I arrived. She did not want to disappoint me. She said the headache subsided during out time together. She obviously put on a performance when I arrived — I didn't notice anything wrong.

Was this a bad thing for her to do? Well, I felt bad that she had a headache and I didn't know. She insisted it was not bad and hoped I didn't notice. I told her I didn't and she said that made her happy. That's what she hoped for.

[liffey]

The money is what brought us together, it is what is going to pay [her*] bills, but that doesn't mean we can't make a connection, enjoy each others company or have a good time.

Ultimately we have control and if we work within our boundaries, we should be able to enjoy the experience too.

This, this, a million times this.



* in my case. YMMV of course

[Curvaceous Kate]

Kate, the "consent" element has nothing to do with what I said. I don't think I am confusing the two. Neither am I saying that the lady is being totally fake and it is all a performance.

I am merely saying that there is an element of performance involved. I once met a lovely lady and had a great time with her. She was all smiles etc. and we had a great time together. I met her a second time a few weeks later and it was equally as good but this time she apologised for the first time we met and thanked me for returning — apparently about 20 minutes before I arrived the first time she developed a headache. She took some paracetamol and put on a brave face when I arrived. She did not want to disappoint me. She said the headache subsided during out time together. She obviously put on a performance when I arrived — I didn't notice anything wrong.

Was this a bad thing for her to do? Well, I felt bad that she had a headache and I didn't know. She insisted it was not bad and hoped I didn't notice. I told her I didn't and she said that made her happy. That's what she hoped for.

I still think performance is the wrong word. It's the same with any job. No one wants to know if someone you love just died, or if you had a bad day or had an argument with your partner, that stuff has to be put aside and you do what you are employed to do, be it self employed or not. That doesn't mean that you don't mean what you are doing and it isn't real. It just means you are not throwing all your baggage in at the same time. That is the thing that makes it a 'profession' and not recreational.

[Petros]

I still think performance is the wrong word. It's the same with any job. No one wants to know if someone you love just died, or if you had a bad day or had an argument with your partner, that stuff has to be put aside and you do what you are employed to do, be it self employed or not. That doesn't mean that you don't mean what you are doing and it isn't real. It just means you are not throwing all your baggage in at the same time. That is the thing that makes it a 'profession' and not recreational.

You are probably right. The word "performance" may be the the best one in this circumstance but, as you say "It's the same with any job" and that was the point I was making.

[Meursault]

[Meursault]

in fairness to the escorts we are all pretending some way or another. im a cynical cunt but do i behave that way around family or people i encounter? No, not a chance. I would be alienated.

we all must compromise in some way or another to gain in life. We are all prostitutes really

[Meursault]

...according to Kate Holmquist in the Irish Times today, anyway.

The gist of the article is that any affection, any pleasure on the part of the ladies is entirely a performance and that all punters are misogynists (hate women) and unable to form stable relationships with women in the "real world".

Any thoughts?

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/socia...-sex-1.1996462

[Curvaceous Kate]

Is that possible?

[Meursault]

Is that possible?

going by this forum and all the fights that break out between escorts, yea id say it is. but having said that this forum is not a good representation of society on the whole