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Thread: Sex - An Olympic event

  1. #1
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    Default Sex - An Olympic event

    I'm beginning to wonder if sex should be an Olympic sport?

    After all, the number of us punters that ask for a bewildering array of positions within an 30 min timeframe is astounding.
    Surely Escorts have to be highly trained athletics to complete them all?

    Just think, after the usual meet and greet, shower, exchange of money and discussion of the forth coming service.
    Shouldnt there be a panel of judges with a stopwatch awarding points for style, and porn star quality?

    30mins - GFE, Lapdance,
    20mins - OWO, reverse oral
    15mins - Rimming, toys
    10mins - Russian, Anal
    5mins - Sex
    4mins - teabagging
    2mins - CIM
    0mins- HOLD THAT POSE!

    Even with an hour you'd be hard pushed to fit all that in!

    Mind you, they would probably disqualify escorts for being "Professionals"

    Sorry girls - no gold medals!

  2. #2
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    Default Good one…

    I bags the Pole Vault, and Female Beach volley ball and Water Polo teams.

    Who would be on the judging panel Rory ?


    Oh and the synchronized swimmer's…

    Oh Oh and the Female Gymnastics team's

    Oh Oh Oh and the Russian Hammer thrower's

    The fella's into watersports can deal with the urine samples...

  3. #3
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    Default To much room for corruption

    Quote Originally Posted by roryman View Post
    I'm beginning to wonder if sex should be an Olympic sport?

    After all, the number of us punters that ask for a bewildering array of positions within an 30 min timeframe is astounding.
    Surely Escorts have to be highly trained athletics to complete them all?

    Just think, after the usual meet and greet, shower, exchange of money and discussion of the forth coming service.
    Shouldnt there be a panel of judges with a stopwatch awarding points for style, and porn star quality?

    30mins - GFE, Lapdance,
    20mins - OWO, reverse oral
    15mins - Rimming, toys
    10mins - Russian, Anal
    5mins - Sex
    4mins - teabagging
    2mins - CIM
    0mins- HOLD THAT POSE!

    Even with an hour you'd be hard pushed to fit all that in!

    Mind you, they would probably disqualify escorts for being "Professionals"

    Sorry girls - no gold medals!
    Roryman, when you consider performance enhancing substances, faking (as in orgasms and reviews), determining the gender of some of the particpants (TSs) and downright bribery, I don't think the IOC would want to touch it with a 40 feet dick.

    Anyway sex is about quality, in that it is subjective rather than about quantity. How would you begin to measure the intensity of an orgasm? And if you're going for endurance, then the medals just go to the pharmaceutical companies. The current olympic sports are discredited enough without dragging sex and the oldest profession through the mud aswell.

  4. #4
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    Default

    It would be more corrupt than any other sport as viagara/cialis etc would be considered as performance enhancing. Seeing as the Irish are thinking of ditching equestrian from the list maybe sex should be on it. Roryman you forgot to mention the customary massage which gives the escorts a breather in between positions and different services. Speaking of escorts having to be highly trained athletes I think clients have to be fit too to keep up.

  5. #5
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    Default humour?

    errrr guys, you do know that this was supposed to be a humourous post, right?

    Just a light hearted comment on the many reviews and client requests that list all the favourites completed in 30 or 60 mins as if there was some insane list that just HAD to be completed for the punt to be considered great

    I like QPH's angle though!

  6. #6
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    Default

    Roryman my response wasn't supposed to be too serious. I suppose I should've put a few smileys in it.

  7. #7
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    Speaking of synchronised swimming I saw some of it today and would like to be on that judging panel. With their legs all up in the air and doing allsorts of things. The gymnasts are a bit underage I think. The high jumpers are fit looking girls too.

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