a question for the punters

[bhoywonder]

society has imposed the institution of marriage upon us, where monagamy is considered the norm when one enters into this relationship.

however it is clearly not the biological norm.

[Quarterpoundher]

society has imposed the institution of marriage upon us, where monagamy is considered the norm when one enters into this relationship.

however it is clearly not the biological norm.

Your right about society imposing Monogamy on us, (Western Society at any rate) other cultures are different, and allow multiple spouses but the one thing they all have in common is that its the man that has all the wife’s, I don’t know of any example of the reverse being the case, but your wrong in that there is no biological norm, many animal species pair up for life and take monogamy to extremes, Penguins for example, although I concede that’s probably down to the fact that its to f**king cold to even consider playing away from home…

To Diana…

My Lady… I think I’ll always have a “point” for you, especially in that dress…

[BruceAlmighty]

I don’t think its naive of a partner to expect their other half to remain faithful, without fidelity you have nothing unless you are in an open relationship with one or both free to do as they please. It does not matter if the person you are doing the cheating with is being paid or is a more conventional scenario, it’s still cheating. I have stayed away from this topic as I have no wish to offend. I am in no doubt that there are many Men or Women here who are technically married but possibly only in name or a whole host of other reasons, for instance its possible that a Male or Female Client is Bisexual and has a strong relationship with someone, but by virtue of their sexuality have to be with someone else to fill that other need, that would be valid, but still cheating if doing so without their knowledge, but in the context so described by the original poster of loving their partner to bits, then I really do not understand how they can look them in the eye, I really can’t, I mean it as no disrespect, its just how I feel on the subject.

Yes Men are weak and given to impulse over thought some times, and we are only really cavemen in armani suites in evolutionary terms, and like to think we are evolved, but are ruled by eons of time spent following the biological imperative, but we can’t continue to use the old chestnut of “Its not my fault love, I’m a hunter gatherer” that’s starting to wear pretty thin, as for one where is the “hunt” involved in ringing an Escort, It’s a fore gone conclusion that you are guaranteed a result (issues of hygiene and Manners aside) that like equating a caveman standing on top of a wholly mammoth, proud as punch at having caught it, when in fact he just nicked round to the local stone age zoo and bought one, Where’s the hunt?.

Sorry but anyone in an otherwise happy relationship, then equating them to steak and an Escort to lobster (regardless of how hot they are) then you need to face up to the fact that 1, you are doing something terrible behind their back, and using the excuse that you are evolutionary predispositioned to having the horn is just not on, and 2, your relationship is not all that solid, it might have been once, but as soon as you crossed that doorway into someone else apartment then, your perceived “happy” other life is a sham, a shell of normality and she or he deserves better then to be treated like that, even if they never know they are being treated like that.

I again am applying the above to people who have partners who as far as they know are in a perfectly happy relationship with no issues to their knowledge.

Agreed - men haven't been "hunter-gatherers" for a long time and that old escuse has long worn thin. Good luck to people justifying it any way they want, but the truth is what it is.

[anon361]

I agree with a lot of what Silo is saying and some of what QPH has said but to fully put my point across I would have to reveal too much of myself which i won't do, but I will say that to me emotional monogomy is crucial in any relationship where physical is not!! Sex is sex and when it's over it's over; emotional attachement to another person outside of your partner will eat away at any relationship and to me that is the worst kind of cheating.
I would consider starting an affair the downfall of any relationship but seeing an escort is only a physical release.
Now don't get me wrong, both are cheating but love for someone is emotional, lust is physical, same as a wank. Now when you combine the 2 Lust and Love the term "Making Love" would be fitting but I don't make love to an escort it's just sex!!

I quess my point is I draw a very clear line between Love, love making and sex.

I'm still not happy that i'm getting my point across but i can't go any further

[experienced punter]

i'm a single man for past years & Only then I started punting , No I wouldn't visit Escorts if I was in a relationship I have no Guilt yes its all about respect as Myst. Diana says..

[Quarterpoundher]

I agree with a lot of what Silo is saying and some of what QPH has said but to fully put my point across I would have to reveal too much of myself which i won't do, but I will say that to me emotional monogomy is crucial in any relationship where physical is not!! Sex is sex and when it's over it's over; emotional attachement to another person outside of your partner will eat away at any relationship and to me that is the worst kind of cheating.
I would consider starting an affair the downfall of any relationship but seeing an escort is only a physical release.
Now don't get me wrong, both are cheating but love for someone is emotional, lust is physical, same as a wank. Now when you combine the 2 Lust and Love the term "Making Love" would be fitting but I don't make love to an escort it's just sex!!

I quess my point is I draw a very clear line between Love, love making and sex.

I'm still not happy that i'm getting my point across but i can't go any further

You put that perfectly clearly Anon, I understand what your saying, my main point is that if the other party IE spouse, long term partner KNOWS that they are seeing an Escort or someone else then by definition nothing underhand is going on, if they are in the dark about it, then as you say regardless of weather or not someone puts an emotional investment in an Escort experience, it is still cheating,

Fidelity does not necessarily require you only be with one person, but that that one person knows and is ok with you seeing someone else for whatever reason.

For instance, someone’s partner might be incapacitated through illness, or just lost interest in the sexual side, and understand and accommodate their partners needs. But if they weren’t ok with it, I could understand someone seeing an Escort as Anon describes for purely physical release as they may truly love their partner but still need the physical side meet even if their partner does not, it’s still technically cheating but it would be more understandable then someone cheating in an otherwise normal sexual relationship just because they thought the Escort was hotter. As Diana and EP said, it is about respect.

[bigpaws]

Men are designed, actually physically designed, to produce as much of their seed as possible to spread as wide and far as possible .......... that is how we are psychologically built, fact.

Women are designed to grow ONE seed at a time and therefore select the best single seed-provider she can find in order to satisfly her instinct, fact.

Some men resist their natural instincts and some women are "multiple seed gatherers" ............. but in general the opposite is true, there's no great mystery in it.

If you are, as a male, in an emotionally happy relationship and still visit escorts (the best option to satisfy your natural sexual instincts in my opinion) then you are doing no harm to anybody as long as your partner does not find out .......... the old saying of "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" is absolutely true in the world of escorts and punters.

Paws

ps All the posters here have made valid points and I respect their opinions ............. this just happens to be MY opinion.

[roryman]

Of course it is cheating, and you can make as many excuses to yourself as you like, it is still a terrible betrayal of trust and your partner will only ever see it that way.
As will her family and probably your family.

Just ask yourself this question.....

Would you like it if you found out that

a/ your partner was cheating on you

b/ your partner was seeing escorts


I bet the answer is a big Nooooooo!

I am not saying "hey you big cheater". I am just saying at least recognise it for what it is and dont try and dress it up in silly nonsense.
She probably thinks you love her with all your wooden heart.

[Cloud]

The truth is that women cheat as much as men. Men see themselves as hunters so they way too often dismiss that reality. Humans are not designed to be monogamous. A woman must have as many children from as many men as possible for the survival of the species. That's why she should not have more than one child with the same man. And that's also why a woman can have sex for hours. Once she has climaxed she can move to the next partner whilst the previous one falls alseep. It is the best way to select the best seed. So, my point is, when you visit escorts, you may wish to know what your partner is up to Never forget, if, as you say, men must have loads of sexual partners, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that not all these partners are single

[bigpaws]

This is absolutely NOT the site to morally judge others ............

A large percentage of the population see ALL escorts as the lowest form of woman for doing what she does ............. they also believe that ANY man who pays for sex must be a disgusting individual.
Are those people wrong?? Yes I believe they are wrong ............ but I also believe it's wrong for escorts and/or punters to condemn their fellow punters on moral grounds.

Perhaps think twice before throwing those stones ............. ???

Paws