Quotes and naughty jokes!

**Elizaparkeruk** · 03-12-14, 19:09

I love thought provoking jokes and naughty insightful quotes. As it is the season for merriment this is my top quote of the day:

"An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets."

what has stuck in your mind?

**dr love** · 03-12-14, 19:22

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

.: doc xx

**Yamser** · 03-12-14, 19:41

man who goes to bed with itchy bum , wakes up with smelly finger

**adrienn** · 03-12-14, 19:41

Mae West: Sex is like a game of cards: if you do not have a good partner, you could use a good hand.
Les Dawson: My wife is a sex object. Whenever it comes to sex, she objects.

**SmallHorn** · 03-12-14, 19:47

Why is Santa so Jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

**SmallHorn** · 03-12-14, 19:48

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Woody Allen

**Elizaparkeruk** · 03-12-14, 20:08

Originally Posted by Yamser

man who goes to bed with itchy bum , wakes up with smelly finger

That is a classic that I never get tired of cringing/laughing over.

**Elizaparkeruk** · 03-12-14, 20:12

Considering the new law this seemed apt

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

Matt Groening

**ThatGuy** · 03-12-14, 20:16

"I dont want to come between you two ladies....Or do I?" - Quagmire (Family Guy)

"If I said you had a beautiful Body would take of your clothes and Dance around a little?" - Kiff (Futurama)

"Oh! Uh! Ahem! I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies." - Kiff (Futurama)

**Elizaparkeruk** · 03-12-14, 20:19

Originally Posted by ThatGuy

"I dont want to come between you two ladies....Or do I?" - Quagmire (Family Guy)

"If I said you had a beautiful Body would take of your clothes and Dance around a little?" - Kiff (Futurama)

"Oh! Uh! Ahem! I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies." - Kiff (Futurama)

I do so like Kiff though he is a crazy character.

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