Enough already !

[n73]

That's it, I've had it. I can take no more abuse from my wife, my heart has finally been be smashed. She's now back in contact with her ex fiancé and I'm done, I'm a broken man. So to all you guys that are divorced or separated that seem so happy, I need advice. How do you start afresh. I'm actually making a plea for help as I've no strength left. I know there's going to be a few guys I know from the boards that will answer truthfully so could the piss takers please leave this alone.
Thanks !

[Shirley Joy]

That's it, I've had it. I can take no more abuse from my wife, my heart has finally been be smashed. She's now back in contact with her ex fiancé and I'm done, I'm a broken man. So to all you guys that are divorced or separated that seem so happy, I need advice. How do you start afresh. I'm actually making a plea for help as I've no strength left. I know there's going to be a few guys I know from the boards that will answer truthfully so could the piss takers please leave this alone.
Thanks !

bring her to my place,I'll make her to change her mind and feel sorry!!

joking..I feel sorry,but a kick in your butt could be a step in front! cheer up boy..there's so many out there waiting to be taken!!

[Headlad]

I can't do anything other than sympathise mate. Chin up.

[Fitzy]

Sorry to hear that fella I was never married so I don't know what's it like but all I can say is you have obviously made you mind up stick to your decision and move on she has made contact with her ex and I think in her mind it's over. I split up with someone about a year ago and I will be honest it was hard going but time is a great healer looking back it was for the best like me I have no doubt

[takemedrunkimhome]

That's it, I've had it. I can take no more abuse from my wife, my heart has finally been be smashed. She's now back in contact with her ex fiancé and I'm done, I'm a broken man. So to all you guys that are divorced or separated that seem so happy, I need advice. How do you start afresh. I'm actually making a plea for help as I've no strength left. I know there's going to be a few guys I know from the boards that will answer truthfully so could the piss takers please leave this alone.
Thanks !

Man I know what its like to have your heart broken. You can do one of 2 things in my opinion.

You can fight for her if you thing the relationship is worth it.

Option 2 is less palitable but more fun.
You can come out with me and we can rise a session everywhere we meet a good looking lady.
Told you its not great but it will be great fun lol.

[willyup]

I've been there myself, divorced after an 11 year relationship, for just under six of those years we were married.

It was my ex that first said she wanted a divorce, I was devasted and worked hard and did everything I could to try and make it work but she had lost interest. After a year of trying I finally had a eureka moment and realized it just wasnt going to happen.
You will know yourself if it is worth another try to make it work, perhaps you have already done this. Maybe more than once.

If you have reached the point where you know in your heart that it is not going to work then you should take action and start now to re-shape your future. I wont for one minute trivialise the situation by saying its easy. Its not, you have a long road ahead of you and it will take time to heal and to get your life onto a different path.
BUT, that road has an end with a brighter future ahead of it whereas staying in a broken relationship could lead to an indefinate period of unhappiness.

I could say more but the first step in the journey is the hardest. You will hit obstacles along the way and wonder will it ever end but it does and the future is brighter.

For me it took until about a year after the divorce for me to feel that the ship of my life had finally entered calmer waters.
From that point on my life just got better and better as I was presented with so many choices, options and directions that my life could go in.
I now know it was the best thing that could have happened.

Just remember, no matter how bad it seems it does get better.

If you want to pm me anytime you are more than welcome.

[City Gent]

I too have been there mate, married for thirteen years. We just drifted apart wanting different things it was her decision to end it and with two little kids involved I thought it was the end of the world. The day I walked away from the kids was one of the worse days of my life.

Two years later I met the love of my life, we've been married fourteen years and are still to use an old saying 'Best Mates' My relationship with my kids (and hers) has grown stronger by the year and there is hardly a day goes by we don't chat on the phone wherever I am in the world.

So the moral of my story is today it may seem your life no longer has meaning but tomorrow you could meet the lady you should have met in the first place.

CG

Forgive me for not taking the piss like I normally would

[Violette]

Damn man, that is really a sad situation to be. Emotional as well, but even though you feel like you are under a rock and the world is ending, it really isn't. In fact you now need to remember those things that are good about yourself, and as hard as this is, try not to take things personal. People evolve and grow apart, it is a fact of life. Now for the practical stuff: 1) Secure you assets. Divorce in Ireland is hard on the man, so make sure you cover your ass and your assets. Get thee to a solicitor and start the process before she does. 2) Start looking for a place, staying in the same space with that kind of negativity is going to do your head in. 3) Go to the gym, get moving and start taking care of yourself. 4) Cry, have a good howling session, in private of course, if that isn't your thing, take up boxing, but get the hurt out in an activity. 5) After you are feeling better, check out your pulling power. Does wonders for your ego. 6) Buy some new clothes, after you buff up the body. 7) After she comes to her senses, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK.
The way she is treating you is simply disrespectful and you deserve better.
Good Luck
xx Violette

[Banjo]

First, sorry you're finding yourself in this shit situation mate.

Second, for your own mental health, keep things in context. Nobody has died which may not be much of a consolation but it may help to keep your mind in order so be thankful for that much.

Third, decide for yourself if you want to keep her or walk. Try to stay out of gray areas like "I would keep her if this that and the other .....". If the gray area is something under your personal control then take time to walk through it and see what you decide. If however the gray area depends on her to clear up, then forget it. You need to focus on what you can control yourself and hoping/waiting/expecting her to do something or change something will only make things worse for yourself.

Fourth, do whatever it is you decide. It's pointless to say this is what needs to be done without then doing it.

Fifth, be kind to yourself and learn the value of yourself. Recognise that you're a valuable person and feel what that means. Nobody deserves to be held to emotional ransom by anyone else so above all, do whatever it takes to bring an end to that. It clouds your judgement and makes it difficult to think straight and objectively.

Sixth, listen carefully to what those you trust may say to you. They are not in your situation and can talk more clearly because they are not emotionally invested in your relationship.

Seventh, I can't think of a seventh.

If it's any consolation mate, I think she's the one on a collision course. Harking back to exes ?? Big no no. There's a reason why they're exes after all but that's her problem. Let her fall into that hole and deal with it.

That said,

[Bruno69]

Sorry mate. I have been there also and briefly back but am right back in the same boat again, albeit through my own faults and not those of my wife.

Youve got lots of good advice here, from much kinder people than me, and im not going to be patronising because i appreciate we are where we are for different reasons, but can I point out one small one in particular that Violette mentioned and was great for me in recent times. Boxing in the gym!! Seriously it is great. I'm not talking about releasing aggression or visualising anybody on the punchbag, but just for purging negative emotions by exhausting every ounce of energy you have on that punchbag.

Try it once, get some instruction about how to do it properly and see if I'm wrong.

Apart from that you've a lot of crap to deal with , so good luck to you.