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"slurp, slurp...............slurp slurp...........1 and 3 quarters bloody sugars :mad: and it needs stirred another time in each direction, you lazy fat wassuck :p you would,t get up and...

Ello ladies :) i dont know who me fave liz is :confused: i know you can all make prize winnin cuppa,s :) but which one of the liz,s can make ME the very best ever cuppa :D off to your...

never mind her learning to talk good english :(

if she,d learn to make a decent cuppa tea i,d be happy.

just 1 and 3 quarters sugar anna, and stir it 12 times clockwise and 6 times...

:D:D:D:D

the very best piece of e-i soap drama yet Patricia, i really laughed :D

i was fooled, its so believable :rolleyes:

except the bit about big daddy,s role as negioter with the gardas...

i,m still knockin aroun J.R :) i,m waiting on zoeanna accepting my offer of marriage, i want to make an honest woman of her JR. :D

deep deep down i really really almost love her :D

so who all...

ok darlin, you can let me know tomorrow, no rush :)

i think i did tell you that i loved you, once. don,t you remember? It was just before the 1st time you let me shag you :)

if you marry...

ah c,mon aunt liz, you like a big day out and all :) you can go up the west end get a new big fancy hat and rig out and matchin handbag. All the ladies in the square will be jealous like :)
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hello zoeanna, :)

are you sitting down with a strong cuppa tea? :) No? well you should be, :) and just put one sugar in mine luv, and try stirring it clockwise :)

here zoeanna, its coming up...

You done well boy, :) i,m a bit short at the minute, here,s 1 tin and 10 fags, and a pat on the head :) good boy, good boy :D listen son, a terrible thing has happened my girlfriend zoeanna :( ...

C,mon J.R :) so far youve been mostly nice compared to me :( just look what zoeanna called me :D even after all those nice things i done for her :) i,m going to hang around until she gets up the...

youre not bad enough, actually i,m really bigpaws :D

ZOE-ANNA! and she has been neglecting her doormat duties, my clothes weren,t properly ironed and there was a tiny bit too much milk in my cuppa, nor was it stirred properly :mad:

now if thats not...

ello aunt liz :) heres a present for you :) its a delicious chicken pie :D and here,s a homemade real feather duster :) i got rid of that fowl smell that was around :rolleyes::cool:

I,ll take care of it for you :) it could be your lucky night :) pull this wishbone with me :D you win! :) what are you going to wish for zoeanna :confused::)

SO :mad: youve been letting some hen pecked bird brain flirt with you behind my back :mad: heres a present for you zoeanna :) A GIBBLET NECKLACE :D better get the oven ready darlin :cool:

naw, i,m not lookin a bj as well, 1 minute is good enough for her, dont want to spoil her :) YOU CAN GIVE ME THE BJ :mad: yeah, i fancy a cock suckin my cock :confused::D why do i always get...

with pleasure darlin, but no one wants my ass zoeanna, not even in jail :) remember i got AIDS :D all this arguing has got me horny now :) get your kit off zoeanna, i fancy a shag :D

right scrubber :mad: i might as well make some money from your cheating fanny :) THATS RIGHT, I,M PUTTING YOU ON THE GAME YOU SLAG :mad: lets take you down the pub, see if someone will pay £5 to...

no problem aunt liz :) anything i can do to help :) was just nipping out anyway so i,ll bring everything you want back :) you couldn,t cash this cheque for me before i go dearest aunt liz :D

Shut it you doormat :mad: me nasty? :mad: dont forget thats why you love me. you tramp, give me back all those presents i gave you and thanks for all your savings :) it will do as compensation for my...

At least no one can call me Nasty Nick :) well not yet anyway :D

flowers or chocs :confused: that brazen hussy zoeanna should be thankful i,m dont clean my dirty boots on her when i see her :) and now i,ve got her a job making tea and selling chips in the cafe...

who is soap-land escort of the month? :)

ello darlin zoeanna :) heres a present for you in a binbag, makes sure you get them all properly washed and ironed theres a good girl :)

I know my aunt liz never shies from a competition, she...

good news zoeanna :) youre not working for JR anymore :)

thats right, youre dreams come true darlin :)

i got you the job down in the cafe in walford sq making tea and selling chips and...