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can i have som, i fukin need it to get me leg over soon fer fuksake. wots it taste like? i balls are as big as footballs, i,d jump on a cracked plate.

here, you know thon wan from girls aloud,...

Everywan in skool that hates me keep me goin tha i,m ric fleurs wee lad. i,m nuthin like him, i,ve a fukin fringe like and i,m dont have a funny walk or anythin like him. Ric tell em all yer not me...

me and diane,s hair

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01206/diana-vickers460_1206591c.jpg

big mickey

hi missus, i,m dying for a shaggerific good ride from an oul doll. i reakon i,d give wan o yous oul birds with experience one of them multiply organisms, i,m so horny, tell yous i,d have both of...

jasus its like a pope mobile for wan of them king of the travellers

oh i love that wan, stevie has his own special version for me

"Brown eye, burning like fire. Brown eye, how can you close and fail?........."

hes teaching me the YMCA dance too with stevie...

jasus hwm what a nite, i,m still wreaked.

thon wan stevie g from boysone says to me "how many E,s are there in eoghan?" i says wan.....E...O......next thing he stuffs somethin in me gob and says...

i jurked of to it, i,d a big 4 hr wankaton, with a buket, a stale donut an me ol fellas brylcream oil 4 lube :cool:

Dear patty,

PLEASE HELP!

you seem to be the wan like an agony aunt or something like that around here.

you see, ive got a date with a girl called HOT BETTY :) i,m all worried incase i...

wer can i take you on a date betty beauty babe :) i cant wait, hope u dont mind me wearing dark glasses :cool: and do u have any better pics of yourself, like wearing somthin skimpy, and with like...

he is, i swear, yer man from boyzone toul me betty.

i dont think your ugly, well not compared to the millys around dungiven :(

would you like a date betty? :) i can do a song and dance...

wheeeeeew :):) 2 rite mrs hot lizzy ROCK AND ROLL, an all thanx 2 my best mucker nick. :D and he laid me on a load of them 4 me mates :) and they all like me now :) my mucker Nick says if i do a...

aye the girls called me eggnog because of the handful of "eggnog" i can produce out of the hole in my pocket with a few shakes ever 15 mins or so :) i could send you a jam jar of it mrs lizzy, its...

whats white and slithers around the floor?.........cum dancing, lol cheer up mrs lizzy, did you know brucey asked me 2 be on strictly come dancing next...

I,ve got 37 pubes that are over an inch long now :) i wish i,d more so the girls wouldn,t think i was a virgin when they ask for a look :o i shaved all my 23 pubes off last summer hoping they,d...

alright big nick, i done wot u told me with the voting stuff. When am i getting my 2 tins of harp lager, and wan of those funny fags, like you said? wud you give us another look at those dirty fotos...

I voted 4 the old spooky lukin wan lizzy, she looks like a real spide milly, like danni minogue without botox. and she called me eggnog so i vote 4 her

whenever i nearly won X-factor there :) there was one day i got a packet of crisps and fired a load OF MY WANK onto them. :D

i gave them to alexander and she ate them :cool:


SHE THOUGHT THEY...

i seen this wee doggy :) aye, when i was helping Nick fix that skylight up the ladder i seen the wee dog and heard someone sobbing :(

bout ya mister, luk i,m not stupid mr. i think i should listen to mr clint and mrs hot lizzy. they sorta remind me of simon cowel and danni minogue.

i seen dannii minogues panties you know...

Ay nick, i dont have many friends, its a lonely life being a superstar :( them wans from JLS got me high :) and then they wedgyed me :mad: my shuck was sore 4 a week :( can i have some more...

bout u nik, i can do that 4 u nik, i,ll do it 4 a chewit cos ur the only wan,s been real dead on with me here. wen i was on X-factor i had 2 climb in diane vickers window wen she was kiping, i put...

Thanks nick, ur the only wans been nice 2 me. here luk wot i stole. its a pair of kims knickers from girls aloud. here av a wee sniff, i,d eat me chips outta nadines. got 2 go, thers millions...

ay, was,nt i good??? every1 toul me so. pat kenny said i was the best wan he ever seen.

and boyzone were so good to me, they even want me 2 join, they said me dancing fitted right in

and i...