Wanking Research.

I just noticed this and thought and thought it might make good reading.

According to the research that was conducted in the United States of America, men with higher education masturbate twice as often in comparison with other men. Consequently, there are a lot of masturbators, who take official positions and have larger income. Who knows, maybe serious positions and good wages do not depend on education? Maybe, they depend on special masturbation skills?

If you master the art of masturbation, then you will not have to finish a high school. The only thing you gotta do is have a “smart wanking session.” If you succeed in that, it will be very easy to become a general manager of a large company. Piece of cake.

Association of California masturbators held its session in Los Angeles. The agenda of this controversial session included several interesting issues. The list of them contained such questions as: Which hand is better: right or left? The role of intimate music in a masturbation act. Pornographic movies and their influence on the intensity of orgasm. Artificial vaginas: to be used or not to be used? Rubber women as efficient means of sexual relief.

The session took place in the atmosphere of the rising creation. In other words, all participants of the arrangement had boners due to the slideshows, movies and magazines of the adequate contents. Those, who wished to get rid of the sexual excitement, could go to a special room and say hi to their monsters.

One of the most interesting reports was made by American professor Dick Aiserman. His report was devoted to the advantages of male masturbation. As the professor believes, one of the main advantages of masturbation (vs. a sexual intercourse with a woman) is the absolute absence of any stress. A man will never experience a stress over a woman’s hysterics, scandals, stupid sayings, extortion, blackmail, and so on and so forth. The scientist, who is an active member of the masturbation movement) finished his speech with the following words: “We have proved with our research that the orgasmic feeling at the end of a masturbation session is twice as stronger as at the end of a sexual intercourse with a woman.”

The listeners were very happy to hear that. They even started applauding the professor. This was all theory, but the session included a practice section as well. Experienced masturbators shared their secrets with the youth. The session was over with a party at Bonobo restaurant. There was a funny “who cumms first” contest during the party. Professor Dick Aiserman became the winner of the contest. He had an orgasm after only 52 seconds of wanking. Farmer Luke Martin lost three seconds to him. The winner was awarded with a Golden Fist prize and a check of three thousand dollars.