pancake day just had mine mwha some humour for ya

I got some new aftershave today that smells like
bread crumbs, the birds love it!

Tampax have announced today that they will be
replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This will
be for the Christmas period only.

David Cameron has announced that he intends to make
it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week all the forms will
be printed in English.

Husband says to wife 'My Olympic condoms have arrived
- I think I'll wear gold tonight' . Wife says 'Why don't you wear
silver and come second for a change?'