Every morning when I go down to my kitchen I find the centre of the floor is always wet. No drips from the ceiling, no leaks from the taps, nothing knocked over, nobody lives with me so no tricksters. Doesn't taste like piss either so I'm not sleep pissing in my own kitchen. No reasonable explanation as to why this keeps happening. Fucked if I know :dunno:
Feel free to throw in the odd suggestions as to what might be causing it as you hilariously reel off the best of your one-liners yet again, and again, and again ... ad nauseam.
And don't feel too bad if you don't have an answer, I really don't care. I'm just doing my civil duty by adding more stupid to this ever growing mountain of retardation.
;)
This is so interesting ... OMGLOL
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09-06-16, 19:43TwistedTransistorThis is so interesting ... OMGLOL
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09-06-16, 19:46gonzo76
Condensation from a cold pipe somewhere, or an underfloor heating pipe leaking?
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09-06-16, 19:53TwistedTransistorCan we not turn this into a squirter thread, please.Quote:
Originally Posted by irishdeltaforce
I've been here (the house) a few years and it only started this year so I'm guessing that rules out condensation. I hope it's not a burst pipe. I'd rather find out I was sleep pissing than to have to dig up the tiling in me kitchen.Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzo76
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09-06-16, 20:10gonzo76Should be easy enough to identify if the water is coming from the floor. I.e. Coming up through the floor. If so, some digging might be needed. Even if it is, probably only a small job...Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedTransistor
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09-06-16, 20:13Danny2011
Am I the only one who got stuck at the unidentifed liquid on my floor doesn't taste like piss.
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09-06-16, 20:26TwistedTransistorIf it is a leaking pipe then I'm puzzled as to why it only leaks while I'm asleep. Can't spot any cracks or fissures in the tiling, no constant wet patches either :dunno:Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzo76
Not looking forward to digging it up if it is though, I laid those tiles, I saw the concrete underneath, and I've no idea where the pipes might be.
Never drank piss, no? If you've never tasted piss then you probably don't know what piss tastes like ... in which case you really don't know whether or not you've been drinking piss all along.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny2011
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09-06-16, 20:31TwistedTransistorLook deeper.Quote:
Originally Posted by irishdeltaforce
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09-06-16, 20:37Danny2011Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedTransistor
True but I've also never been punched in the balls by Enda Kenny when he was dressed as catholic schoolgirl while I slept, so I don't know what that would be like either, so it's possible Enda Kenny is dressing up as a schoolgirl and punching me in the balls every night. -
09-06-16, 20:40justfrank44To be fair, even punching your balls would be punching above ednas weight :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Danny2011
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09-06-16, 20:42willie wacker
Check the fridge
If old or maybe pipe corroded ? -
09-06-16, 20:49TwistedTransistorPerhaps he's also pissing in my kitchen after he's done with pummeling your plums.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny2011
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09-06-16, 20:50TwistedTransistorNope. Pulled it out from the wall and gave it the once over. Even put a towel around the base one night just to see. No joy.Quote:
Originally Posted by willie wacker
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09-06-16, 20:54TwistedTransistorIt's a myth propagated by homophobes that anal sex makes your ass leaky, my ass is tight as a Jew's purse strings.Quote:
Originally Posted by irishdeltaforce
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09-06-16, 21:18Mr Cuddles
This is a ground floor? There is no basement?
How old is the building? Does it have a damp-proof membrane?
I'm not doubting your tileing skills, but how level is the floor- if you pour some water elsewhere, does it run to that spot?
I'm thinking, maybe there is a little damp/condensation on the whole floor and it runs to that spot -
09-06-16, 21:46gonzo76And Sophie said the forums were getting boring!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Cuddles
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09-06-16, 21:58SteveBI am so bored I might just have to log off and go out and visit an escort.Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzo76
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09-06-16, 22:37JAMESCORK
Spread sheets of newspaper along your floor and identify the source by the starting of a wet path. You may have to check it a few times before you go to bed tho....
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09-06-16, 22:42willie wackerBut make sure the cat is out for the night :)Quote:
Originally Posted by JAMESCORK
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09-06-16, 23:52ladiesman217
1) A wizard did it.
2) Your kitchen is haunted.
3) You sleep walk and piss in the kitchen every night. -
10-06-16, 00:22Barney Rubble
Not meaning to pry into your personal hygiene but do you usually shower (not a golden 1) before you go to bed?
Then again if it is a blocked sewage pipe then it might taste a lot worse than piss! ! -
10-06-16, 00:29rincewind
[QUOTE=ladiesman217;1774416]1) A wizard did it.
It wasn't me.....:rolleyes:
You can't prove anything I tells ya. -
10-06-16, 01:04philipkntzQuote:
Originally Posted by Mr Cuddles
Quoted the 2 best posts on here, fridge was good too but you seem to have ruled out that.Quote:
Originally Posted by JAMESCORK
Now to add one of my own. There was a similar problem in my workplace, except we knew the source, just couldn't figure out why it only leaked ad night. We were actually convinced that an ex employee with a grudge might be visiting during the night so a camera was set up. But no nocturnal visitor.
It turned out that the mains water pressure was much higher at night, as the local water tower was filled completely at night on cheaper electricity. -
10-06-16, 03:10Cassandra
What? Maybe your dishwasher and or washing machine is leaking.
Or maybe you haz ghosts :p -
10-06-16, 13:13rubberloverCould be fridge, they have a pipe at the back and sometimes it overflows. If you can check behind it.Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedTransistor
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10-06-16, 18:03TriplexXxIs your house always kept warm at night? Warm air holds more moisture the slightest drop in air temp and any thing cold like your tiled floor will take damp...if theres is a slight curve in the tiled floor the water will just naturally run tht direction...people say their house is not damp but after winter we have just had with all that heavy rain there is still alot if water around in the ground thats rising because of this heat we are now having 👍Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedTransistor
Oh and its good to see the established trolls are still about ... Sorry i mean established members ☺ -
10-06-16, 19:40Amy Alison
That's just ghosts' urine :D
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10-06-16, 20:45TwistedTransistorQuote:
Originally Posted by Mr Cuddles
It's a ground floor with no basement. Thekitchen is below the main living room area, slightly below ground level too.
It's old enough, nearly forty years old I think. Lot of work done when I moved in. Don't know if there was originally a membrane but they pumped the foundations with goo when they were working on it.
Good thinking.Quote:
Originally Posted by JAMESCORK
1) I am a wizard.Quote:
Originally Posted by ladiesman217
2) My kitchen is my inner sanctum.
3) Wizards don't piss.
Shower? What is this crazy 'Shower' thing you speak of? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Barney Rubble
I rarely use the downstairs shower and none of the piping for it goes near the kitchen.
Intradesting :scratchchin: Hadn't thought of that.Quote:
Originally Posted by philipkntz
Ghosts with bladder problems?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassandra
Nope. I did check it, nothing. The only thing that was behind the fridge was IDF with his elbow up his ass.Quote:
Originally Posted by rubberlover
It's normally fairly cool in my kitchen, the rest of the house would be a bit warmer. I had marked out the condensation thing because it only start happening about six months back but thinking about it now that's around about when I split with my girl, the house was temperature moderated according to her moods up until then :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by TriplexXx
Good point about the ground water too, my area gets a lot of run off from one of the hillier areas around here.
Why the hell is everyone obsessing over bed wetting ghosts? :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Alison
:D -
10-06-16, 23:16philipkntz
I've just remembered that my uncle had a similar problem in his bedroom. He lived on a boat though.
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11-06-16, 00:27Amy AlisonQuote:
Originally Posted by TwistedTransistor
Because it's funny. Doesn't get any better than an incontinent ghost :) -
11-06-16, 05:41ilovepussy123its a load of crap :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Amy Alison