The Women of Portlaoise

I was reading in a paper the other day, that the midlands town of Portlaoise, has apparently the highest rates of unplanned pregnancies, and the highest rates of single mums in Ireland.
Now, why is this? Why Portlaoise? Is there a reason why Portlaoise has claimed this odd title?:confused:
Is there a reason for this?, is there, perhaps, a shortage of condoms in Portlaoise? Is there maybe some environmental reason- maybe a volcano in the region, or something in the water, or maybe a Nuclear power station in Portlaoise?

Or maybe, just maybe, there lots of free easy sex from the women in Portlaoise?????
Have the fellas in Portlaoise been onto something good for years, and the unpatriotic fuckers have been keeping it quiet from their fellow Irish countrymen?
Maybe all the women look like those sweet ladies in the pictures below- all big tits and mini skirts, walking around causing huge erections all the time, and maybe they go around offering lots of free easy sex to the blokes that live there in Portlaoise. And maybe the Laoise fellas, all cute hures that they are have kept this to themselves?
Think about it, how many blokes from Portlaoise post on this site? None that I know of, maybe the reason for that is that they dont have escorts in Portlaoise, because they dont need them!!! They are all getting free sex left right and center, morning noon and night!!!!!
Yes fellow punters while you and me- patriotic punters that we are, have been supporting the economy dishing out 250 euro to shoot our wads, these fuckers have been getting it all the time for free!!!!
I mean look at Portlaoise sportsmen, they are crap at everything, Portlaoise never wins anything in GAA, now we know why- they are all too fucking wacked from all that easy sex they have been secretly getting for years, all of them have been laughing at us behind our backs!!!!!!!!

Well no more!
Cmon fellow punters, lets hire a few coaches and go down to Portlaoise, the smiles will quickly be wiped from their red necked faces when 70 or 80 of us step off the buses, to have sex with their women- and it will be free!!!! No more 250 euros handed over before the fun begins!!!!!!

Let the good times roll!!!!!;)