22:30 News with LDM

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18-05-11, 21:33
ladiesman217

22:30 News with LDM

Welcome to E-I news at 22:30. I am LDM and these are tonights headlines: pony refused admission on train service; 3 NCT employees sacked following bribe allegations; and finally, exploding watermelons in China!

First tonight, a rail commuter in North Wales tried buying a ticket for himself and his pony to travel with him on the 7.02pm service from Wrexham to Holyhead. When purchasing his ticket, he was told large animals were not allowed on trains due to public safety, but he took the pony down on the elevator to the platform anyway. After he was refused entry onto the train, he and his pony left the station. It is unknown why the gentleman wanted to take his pony on the train. I don't wanna be speculating, but marriages between human and non-human animals is not unheard of...

Right moving on, "three staff working for the National Car Test operator Applus have been sacked following allegations that unroadworthy cars were passed in return for bribes". This follows the governments review of the taxi industry. Minister of State for Transport Alan Kelly said the vast majority of taxi drivers were legitimate operators but were suffering due to competition from "people not operating within the regulations". Nothing much more to be said on this!

And finally tonight, watermelons in China exploding due to excessive use of growth accelerators by Chinese farmers. Ya I know what you're thinking, I had sexual thoughts just by staring at the word 'watermelons' too *cough*... Basically these farmers applied the growth accelerators too late in the season, which along with wet [yes I'm also getting dirty thoughts cos of that word as well] conditions, caused the watermelons [mmmm] to 'explode like landmines'. Apparently watermelons are very sensitive... Ok I'm gonna end it there before I start getting aroused any further.

This has been LDM reporting for E-I news at 22:30.

Note on behalf on E-I news: Ruby was not fit to work tonight due to complications with inter-office relations. She will be back soon (as soon as she can walk again after her 'special time' last night).
18-05-11, 21:40
dr love

Good as usual LDM , himself is not happy about the ruby incident , but the true collegaue I am , have had a chat with his better half for you . It's a work in progress but one I will see to the bitter end .
EI forum out
18-05-11, 21:41
Morpheus

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladiesman217

And finally tonight, watermelons in China exploding due to excessive use of growth accelerators by Chinese farmers. Ya I know what you're thinking, I had sexual thoughts just by staring at the word 'watermelons' too *cough*... Basically these farmers applied the growth accelerators too late in the season, which along with wet [yes I'm also getting dirty thoughts cos of that word as well] conditions, caused the watermelons [mmmm] to 'explode like landmines'. Apparently watermelons are very sensitive... Ok I'm gonna end it there before I start getting aroused any further.

This has been LDM reporting for E-I news at 22:30.

Note on behalf on E-I news: Ruby was not fit to work tonight due to complications with inter-office relations. She will be back soon (as soon as she can walk again after her 'special time' last night).

Thanks LDM. I was wondering if you could do a bit more research on the watermelon growth accelarators? I would like to get my hands on some of the stuff, so that I can liberally apply them to "sensitive watermelons". I favour the variety of melons featured below. I can provide the wet conditions myself!:D

P.S. Any chance of Ruby doing the weather report in the nude???:p

http://2img.skins.be/1/4/6/1/4/7/037...y-tyler-02.jpg
18-05-11, 21:46
ladiesman217

Quote:

Originally Posted by dr love

Good as usual LDM , himself is not happy about the ruby incident , but the true collegaue I am , have had a chat with his better half for you . It's a work in progress but one I will see to the bitter end .
EI forum out

Well she seemed better after our little 'get together' last night... Nothing better than make-up sex :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morpheus

Thanks LDM. I was wondering if you could do a bit more research on the watermelon growth accelarators? I would like to get my hands on some of the stuff, so that I can liberally apply them to "sensitive watermelons". I favour the variety of melons featured below. I can provide the wet conditions myself!:D

P.S. Any chance of Ruby doing the weather report in the nude???:p

http://2img.skins.be/1/4/6/1/4/7/037...y-tyler-02.jpg

Morph you're a swell guy and all, but all these pics you post don't do my heart any favours! :lmao: I'll look into the watermelon thing for you, but as for Ruby doing the weather nude... Well that's outta my hands (boss' daughter and all) :( Maybe one of the ladies could volunteer for it?? ;)
18-05-11, 21:49
benin

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladiesman217

Welcome to E-I news at 22:30. I am LDM and these are tonights headlines: pony refused admission on train service; 3 NCT employees sacked following bribe allegations; and finally, exploding watermelons in China!

First tonight, a rail commuter in North Wales tried buying a ticket for himself and his pony to travel with him on the 7.02pm service from Wrexham to Holyhead. When purchasing his ticket, he was told large animals were not allowed on trains due to public safety, but he took the pony down on the elevator to the platform anyway. After he was refused entry onto the train, he and his pony left the station. It is unknown why the gentleman wanted to take his pony on the train. I don't wanna be speculating, but marriages between human and non-human animals is not unheard of...

Right moving on, "three staff working for the National Car Test operator Applus have been sacked following allegations that unroadworthy cars were passed in return for bribes". This follows the governments review of the taxi industry. Minister of State for Transport Alan Kelly said the vast majority of taxi drivers were legitimate operators but were suffering due to competition from "people not operating within the regulations". Nothing much more to be said on this!

And finally tonight, watermelons in China exploding due to excessive use of growth accelerators by Chinese farmers. Ya I know what you're thinking, I had sexual thoughts just by staring at the word 'watermelons' too *cough*... Basically these farmers applied the growth accelerators too late in the season, which along with wet [yes I'm also getting dirty thoughts cos of that word as well] conditions, caused the watermelons [mmmm] to 'explode like landmines'. Apparently watermelons are very sensitive... Ok I'm gonna end it there before I start getting aroused any further.

This has been LDM reporting for E-I news at 22:30.

Note on behalf on E-I news: Ruby was not fit to work tonight due to complications with inter-office relations. She will be back soon (as soon as she can walk again after her 'special time' last night).

pmsl...this is really funny ...well done man.
18-05-11, 21:59
Rayden

Quote:

Originally Posted by benin

pmsl...this is really funny ...well done man.

Agreed.:) Who knew the news could kick so much ass.:D
19-05-11, 00:53
BIGTYM2010

PMSL, Well done LDM. ;)
19-05-11, 00:59
ladiesman217

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIGTYM2010

PMSL, Well done LDM. ;)

Someone had to take over since you gave up on the job :p Although I don't blame you for quitting. I still haven't gotten paid yet (doc's stringing me along I think).