Do we need more than just an Italian football manager?

http://www.independent.ie/multimedia..._i_769587t.jpg

Biffo: I've screwed the entire country and will get my balls handed to me at the next election.

Patron: Aye getta di erectione every day, enna di laydees empty mei nutellas fora me.

Biffo: How do you get away with such arrogance towards your people?

Patron: Aye am molto ricchi enna aye giffa di laydees molto di money.

Biffo: I'm in hock to the foreign banks, the ECB and the IMF and cant afford giveaway budgets.

Patron: Iffa you giffa di laydees molto di money izza molto buono fora di economia.

Biffo: Well we are were we are and I can't see any easy solutions going forward.

Patron: Giffa di laydees di money enna den you taxa di sexo enna di prostitutione.

Biffo: We are a Catholic country and the people would never stand for that.

Patron: Inna Italia no haffa di problemo di standy-upy....di erectione issa phenomenon naturali.

Biffo: Can you give me a bailout.....I mean lend me a few billion Euro?

Patron: Yes, budda you gotta doa somathing fora me two.

Biffo: No problem just as long as the interest rate is less than 5.8%.

Patron: No, izza loan di no interesso.

Biffo: In that case I'll even kiss your auld Italian arse fer ye if you can get me outta this shit.

Patron: No necessario di rimma me ora doa di sheet. Aye ama sexualli molto conservativo.

Biffo: I'll cut the VAT rate on Italian restaurants and take aways then.

Patron: No issa about di cucina italiana you fukka gorda. Issa about di economia stupido.

Biffo: Jaysus, what then Silvio.....I'm runnin outta feckin pitch here.

Patron: Aye ama di Patron offa one grand organizzazione ina Irlanda. Izza nama izza E-I.

Biffo: Never heard of it Silvio.

Patron: No izza problemo. Molto di your partido izza di membri inna dizza organizzazione.

Biffo: Then why was I not invited to join also?

Patron: Cosa you izza on di listo di faccia brutta.

Biffo: So what can I do for this organisation of yours?

Patron: Aye gonna giffa you un numero di telefono and you gonna talka widda Senora Patrizzia.

Biffo: What do I say when I ring this Patricia?

Patron: You makka di appointamento toa sea she. She tella you where you izza gonna go two.

Biffo: Should I bring any of my ministers, civil servant advisers or garda minders with me?

Patron: No no no.....Dio, budda you izza un fukka stupido. You izza goa alone.

Biffo: Will she expect me to bring anything with me?

Patron: Juzza washa di hole di ass gorda enna your Micheal di mouse iffa you kanna find eat.

Biffo: What will she do for me?

Patron: Nada.....you izza gonna dua eat fora she.

Biffo: What exactly?

Patron: Legalizzazione di laydees enna organizzazione di palazzo di pleasure inna Irlanda.

Biffo: And what if I won't do this?

Patron: Aye no giffa enne money enna aye cumma to Irlanda enna stand ona your erectione.

Biffo: Ahh Jaysus Silvio, you really now how to kick a man when he's down.

Patron: Yes inna di nutellas amico.