Martin was getting married and the wedding day appraching quickly.However his bride to be had a real hot sister who wore skimpy tops,minis and no knickers and constantly brushed her body against him in a suggestive way.
The day before the wedding the sister calls him over to help her out with some stuff.When he got there ,the sister broke down and confessed her love for him.Since he was marrying her sister the next day ,she told him that he can have a nice shag before getting hitched.Martin stood shocked as she climbed the stairs and remarked to come to the bedroom and lets do it.Martin stood for a second and then bolted for the front door.
As soon as he got outside, all of his bride to bes family were standing there clapping and cheering.His father in law to be ,came over with streams of tears running down his eyes and clasped Martins shoulders and exclaimed in an emotional way "Martin,im very proud of you,you have past the Wedding Test and i now know that my duaghter has picked the right man for her husband.
The moral of Martins story?
Always leave your condoms in the car.
hahahahhahahah
Westside.
The Wedding Test
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10-10-08, 18:29westsideThe Wedding Test
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11-10-08, 10:28EmeraldWarriora little light moment
Camilla Parker Bowles goes to visit her doctor and explains "Dr evrytime i suck Charles dick i get heartburn"--"Have you tried Andrew`s" asks the Dr
"My what big eyes you have got" says Little Red Riding Hood to the wolf crouching behind the tree. "FUCK OFF" he groans " cant you see im having a shite"
Pregnant Dubliner phones her mum. "Ma i tink me watters have just broke"....Jaysus luv were are ye ringing from"....."From me fanny to me ankles ma".
Twenty minutes after teeing off a woman stumbles into the clubhouse grimacing in pain." Whats happened?" asks the club pro....."I got stung by a bee" she replies...."Where?"... "Between the first and second holes"....."Hmm" murmurs the pro--"Sounds like your stance was a little too wide"
What about the escort who insured each of her legs for 100000, she said"between them she made a good living" -
11-10-08, 10:36EmeraldWarriorjust thought of another one
A young woman wakes up the inside of her thighs sore after a heavy sex session the night before,goes to buy some vaseline. Makes her way to the chemists and the chemist who was bow legged says " certainly mam we have some,just walk this way with me" ---"If i could walk that way i wouldn`t need the feckin vaseline"
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12-10-08, 01:25sexy naomiYup boring humour I have to tolerate ...tee!hee!..ho!
:D
Yup!....have u not advances from schoolyard jokes yet?...typical yuppie humour....HO!HO!HO!..take u lot 15 yrs to catch up............MANNNN!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by EmeraldWarrior
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12-10-08, 08:28Mousey
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a very embarrassing problem with my ass. It's so embarrassing that I didn't think I could even face you today - it's ruining my life."
The doctor sees that this man's distress is genuine and tries to reassure him. "I've been in medicine all my life. I've seen the clap, gonorrhea, herpes, crabs, warts, everything. It's all science to me. Go ahead and drop your pants, I won't judge you in any way."
The man, reassured by the doctor's words, drops his pants to reveal an asshole the size of a plate.
"Jesus Christ!" exclaims the doctor. "What the fuck happened to you?"
"Well," says the man, "I was on safari in Africa and I got raped by a bull elephant."
"What?" asks the doctor. "Hold on a minute. I'm not a vet, but I know that elephant penises are very long and very thin - they're certainly not THAT wide!"
"Yeah, I know," says the man, beginning to cry, "but the bastard FINGERED me first!"