Two Funny Guys

William and Red are both coming home from visiting some lovely escorts and are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both lads are driving way too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both write-offs.
They get talking about the night, the crack they just had and about old times down memory lane. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on for what just happened .
At this point, William goes to the boot of his Micra and fetches a 13 year old bottle of Black Bush whiskey. He hands the bottle to Red, whom exclaims,'' may us auld clients enjoy the crack forever,:paddy-smiley8: in peace, and harmony.'' The Red smiled and then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to William, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''

Anon and Clyde had been drinking buddies and friends for years. After having a few drinks in a bar, Anon said to Clyde "We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favour? Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave." Clyde replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend. But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?"