A little humor for monday

Philippe, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Philippe and says,' Philippe, kiss me!'

Philippe grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

'What are you doing, Philippe?' says the startled Marie.

'I am Philippe the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!'

She smiles and they start kissing.

When things began to heat up little, Marie says,' Philippe, kiss me lower.'

Philippe tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her chest.

'Philippe! What are you doing?' asks the bewildered Marie.

'I am Philippe the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!'

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers,' Philippe, kiss me lower!'

Our hero rips off her panties, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.

Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously,' PHILIPPE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?'

Our hero stands up, grins defiantly, and says,' I am Philippe the fighter pilot! And when I go down, I go down in flames!'

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."