dealing with bullies in the work place??

hey people
im a chef now 22 years and am just curious.in your own chosen field of work have you had to deal wth bullies in the workplace??and how did you deal with them??
in my line of work it use to very common and almost nearly expected of you to bully and harrass the younger ones coming up behind you..
not my style at all and ive just hired a sous chef who im beginning to see this trait in him,
now,i know how to deal with it .dont get me wrong.its not the first time i have had to deal with it..
but just curious has anyone else come accross this and how you sorted it out??..
cheers mart

Nobody would bully me, had enough of that shit as a kid. Any grown man should stand up for himself.

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Originally Posted by mart

hey people
im a chef now 22 years and am just curious.in your own chosen field of work have you had to deal wth bullies in the workplace??and how did you deal with them??
in my line of work it use to very common and almost nearly expected of you to bully and harrass the younger ones coming up behind you..
not my style at all and ive just hired a sous chef who im beginning to see this trait in him,
now,i know how to deal with it .dont get me wrong.its not the first time i have had to deal with it..
but just curious has anyone else come accross this and how you sorted it out??..
cheers mart

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I have, yes. I worked weekends as a cook all through my college years. I picked up the chef's CD with tongs and dropped it into a pan of hot soup.
he wasn't a great chef..funniest thing was, one day, I asked him where did he learn to cook? prison? He said Yeah lol

Simple: Punch his face in.

Just kidding, obviously.

People like that need dealing with in a very firm way, there's absolutely no excuse for bullying. People commit suicide because of this. It's good that you've noticed it so you can stamp it out asap. If you have it in your power, give him a good talking to. Tell him it's completely out of order and will not be tolerated.

no he is not bullying me.lol.id fucking put him through a wall
but can see he will try with my younger ones 19-24 yr olds when im not there
was looking for a serious answer
thanks mart

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Originally Posted by mart

no he is not bullying me.lol.id fucking put him through a wall
but can see he will try with my younger ones 19-24 yr olds when im not there
was looking for a serious answer
thanks mart

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tell him..and show him.. that you get more from your staff by treating them with respect.

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Originally Posted by Rayden

Nobody would bully me, had enough of that shit as a kid. Any grown man should stand up for himself.

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It's easier said than done in some instances Rayden. I was bullied by a manager in an office to the point where I was crying before, during and after work. If it was outside of my job, I would have given her the height of abuse but as she had the power to sack me and I didn't want to lose my job I felt I had to put up with it. I tried speaking to her Managers who totally discouraged me from making a formal complaint. So I went about things a different way - play with fire baby, you WILL burn yourself x

Had to deal with it a couple of times in the past. The first thing was to talk to the people involved to try & resolve the problem which worked once, and the second time I ended up having to sack the bully in question, as it kept on happening repeatedly even with various warnings etc.

yes alex ...thank you ..
this is only his second day and dont worry i know how to deal with bullies

Bully him back. Acutely, for a week. Pick at everything, wait on his timekeeping, critique his dress and demeanor. Then after one week, ask for a meeting, and ask how he liked his week. Ask how he expects others to feel, when under the same stress. And then tell him he will be sacked if you ever see so much as a look out of place towards a peer or a junior. Bullies thrive on people turning the other cheek, on others allowing their acts. Nope.

I worked extensively in Sales, Looking back I was bullied every day, but I was also very good for the target figures and so I learnt to cope. I also learnt to hate complacent bosses.

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Originally Posted by mart

no he is not bullying me.lol.id fucking put him through a wall
but can see he will try with my younger ones 19-24 yr olds when im not there
was looking for a serious answer
thanks mart

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On a serious note, give him a verbal warning. Start as you mean to go on and show him that his nasty ways wont be tolerated

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mart

hey people
im a chef now 22 years and am just curious.in your own chosen field of work have you had to deal wth bullies in the workplace??and how did you deal with them??
in my line of work it use to very common and almost nearly expected of you to bully and harrass the younger ones coming up behind you..
not my style at all and ive just hired a sous chef who im beginning to see this trait in him,
now,i know how to deal with it .dont get me wrong.its not the first time i have had to deal with it..
but just curious has anyone else come accross this and how you sorted it out??..
cheers mart

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I worked as a waiter through college and the head chef's were real wankers. they gave everyone abuse. It was always the waiters/waitresses fault. As you say it must be expected in the business. That doesn't mean it should be tolerated though )

( like your signature btw )

theqm thanks..
ive found myself i had to get rid of 2 who could not help themselves but continue..but once confronted most are cowards anyway

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Originally Posted by EnglishAlex

It's easier said than done in some instances Rayden. I was bullied by a manager in an office to the point where I was crying before, during and after work. If it was outside of my job, I would have given her the height of abuse but as she had the power to sack me and I didn't want to lose my job I felt I had to put up with it. I tried speaking to her Managers who totally discouraged me from making a formal complaint. So I went about things a different way - play with fire baby, you WILL burn yourself x

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All I can say is that I take no bs from anyone at my job, though I do take your point Alex.

thanks lucy
i like your style pretty lady.
tried this tactic before and the lady in question was not fit for me at all,and i razed hell.but i resigned my own position in the end i felt so strongly about it ,she was a friend of the owner who owned the hotel at the time.in the end she was let go and i went back to work there a year later..

Job I'm in now there is on particular guy who consistently makes remarks about me, I used to take it to heart but at this stage I just see him as a useless c*nt!!

Fact of the matter is this, people who do this....Do it because they need to feel better about themselves...

So....for every comment he makes at me I just reply

"Does that comment make you feel any better about being an ugly c*nt"

It's brutally honest, brief and to the point...shuts him up every time!! :)

Ps..I hate the C word but this is what I am dealing with!!

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Originally Posted by mart

theqm thanks..
ive found myself i had to get rid of 2 who could not help themselves but continue..but once confronted most are cowards anyway

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That's what I had with the first one I had to deal with. As soon as he was challenged, he backed straight down and actually looked embarassed about what he was doing. He basically thought he owned the place as he'd been there for about 30 years.

thanks rodney for reply
signature is from an 80s movie the highlander
well i trained abroad and have travelled the globe as a chef but never come across the scary head chef bully attitude till i come back home to ireland.and i dont tolerate and wont allow it was just curious on other peoples experiences and who they dealt with them
cheers dude

The only way is to face this person directly, Maybe getting the younger one's to stand up for themselves???
That way they can gain the respect that's needed but your on the sidelines as such to keep things in line

Just a suggestion

Nina

xx

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Originally Posted by mart

thanks lucy
i like your style pretty lady.
tried this tactic before and the lady in question was not fit for me at all,and i razed hell.but i resigned my own position in the end i felt so strongly about it ,she was a friend of the owner who owned the hotel at the time.in the end she was let go and i went back to work there a year later..

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My motto is always raise hell :) If I know I am working hard, then I know my worth. Unfortunately a new phenomena I have noticed is title collecting. People like titles. Perhaps you should demote him :)

lolol kidkool nice
thats how ya treat a fucker like that, a taste of thier own medicine a bully cannot take it due to their own fears about themselves

thanks gorgeous nina
well i pulled the 3 younger ones aside to day and told them something similar ,all to give the same answer when certain things were said and if he has a problem talk to me the head chef

lol lucy brilliant ,he is 10 years older than me and maybe that is a problem right there a 37 yr old man telling him what to do.demoting would be the perfect answer..
but he was hired as my second but not by me,my mind is made up to get rid of him but its just a matter of time till his hole is dug very deep and ill close it over

some great insights and replies i appreciate it and you have helped me alot,kepp em coming
so many thanks to you all martin

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Originally Posted by lucy chambers

My motto is always raise hell :) If I know I am working hard, then I know my worth. Unfortunately a new phenomena I have noticed is title collecting. People like titles. Perhaps you should demote him :)

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I like your style Lucy. I work hard but have an ordinary title. Am I worried about a job title/description - am i f**k!
Job titles don't pay the bills.
If the bullies in question have a fancy title, take it off them. They'll probably stop being a prick to other people.

Its a sensitive issue. I've been on receiving end of what I consider a money making freebie. Keeps you record in writing and keep every minute detail. After that prepare for a hell of a ride( and not in the nicest possible way) after it goes legal.

titles mean feic all but some eejits do like having em,the buck stops with me if there is a problem.title means fuck all everybody calls me by my name and are looked after well.
i had a chef ask me recently where he came in the pecking order and who is he in charge of ..lol..and he could not even make stuffing for lamb dish.lol..but he wanted to have someone to boss around

thank you justtryit
sound advice and i think i will do it too,just incase

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Originally Posted by mart

titles mean feic all but some eejits do like having em,the buck stops with me if there is a problem.title means fuck all everybody calls me by my name and are looked after well.
i had a chef ask me recently where he came in the pecking order and who is he in charge of ..lol..and he could not even make stuffing for lamb dish.lol..but he wanted to have someone to boss around

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Thats the problem, really. We have all become so involved in the mechanism of getting ahead we forget what it is that gets us ahead- enthusiasm! My parents used to own a tea room. It evolved into a restaurant with rooms, The chef has to have a sous chef. The sous chef had to have a porter. The porter had to have a maid. And so on. M dad told me once we all have a different title but its the same code on the P45. He sells boats in Sydney now :)

wise man lucy
we are all just a number and can be replaced

yep, in work nearly every one has their position in their email signature, whatever that position maybe. Some exaggerate it more than others. Some have it in bigger fonts. some have all their qualifications and whatever else makes them stand-out.
It all means jack shit to me. The only thing I have is my name. I'd much rather let my work do the talking that some fancy title.

It's about what you do, not who you are.

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Originally Posted by mart

lolol kidkool nice
thats how ya treat a fucker like that, a taste of thier own medicine a bully cannot take it due to their own fears about themselves

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Ah its the only way man, a quick dry humorless response to cut the prick in half... weather he look like a rat or have buck teeth, throw a dagger back at him!!

In work situations it is sensitive alright...in my own situation I had 3 choices, let him continue what he is doing, stand up to him as I suggested or go to management and put a complaint in... the former and the a latter are losing situations when you think about it in an work environment...

Only option is to be an arsehole back and make them feel shit about themselves.... eventually they will learn :)

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Originally Posted by kidkool

Ah its the only way man, a quick dry non humorless response to cut the prick in half... weather he look like a rat or have buck teeth, throw a dagger back at him!!

In work situations it is sensitive alright...in my own situation I had 3 choices, let him continue what he is doing, stand up to him as I suggested or go to management and put a complaint in... the former and the a latter are losing situations when you think about it in an work environment...

Only option is to be an arsehole back and make them feel shit about themselves.... eventually they will learn :)

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Very true Kid, outside of work is it lot easier. Bullies are only good at giving. They can not take it at all. Give them the same abuse and they usually crumble in the end.

ah ive dealt with bullies all my life, sometimes it does get to me sure... but I always win out eventually far as I'm concerned...

I've moved on from the job I'm in now... quit in few weeks and this dickhead had the cheek to ask me to help him get a job where I'm moving to??!!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ard_motion.jpg

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Originally Posted by mart

no he is not bullying me.lol.id fucking put him through a wall
but can see he will try with my younger ones 19-24 yr olds when im not there
was looking for a serious answer
thanks mart

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Sit him down talk to him educate him if that doesn't work get rid off there is no place in the workplace our society for a bully.

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Originally Posted by kidkool

ah ive dealt with bullies all my life, sometimes it does get to me sure... but I always win out eventually far as I'm concerned...

I've moved on from the job I'm in now... quit in few weeks and this dickhead had the cheek to ask me to help him get a job where I'm moving to??!!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ard_motion.jpg

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Cheeky bastard I hope you told him where to go.

There's a fine line between being a bully and being assertive. The test is how it's received. If the person on the receiving end feels intimidated and worthless, if it affects their life outside of work and in it, then it's bullying. If the recipient sees it as a kick up the arse and sees a reason for it, if it means they'll do something properly next time, then it's being assertive. The tricky bit is that two different people can take the same treatment in different ways ... for one it's bullying, for the other it's not.

Someone earlier said they worked hard and used that fact to justify why they shouldn't be bullied. That is a nonsense for two reasons. One is that there are no circumstances under which someone is allowed to bully another. Second, it is possible to work like a lunatic and still not be productive. Trying to break a large rock with a tiny hammer for example ..... no matter how hard you work you'll never get the job done.

Invariably you'll find that workplace bullies are bad managers. The only way they know to keep their staff under control is with the stick. Luckily we've got a legal system in this country which tends to place a greater weight of protectionism on the employee rather than the employer. I'd encourage anyone to take the bully to task by official means every time. I realise that takes a lot of courage which may not always be available.

If I was a bully's boss, I'd do the same. If one of my staff was doing something to present a potential exposure to my company, I would show zero tolerance. Throw the staff handbook at them right away, and manage them out ASAP. Better that that me getting the sack for not clamping down on it.

An old Hoodoo trick to get rid of worrsome co-workers is to sprinkle csyenne pepper around where they trespass n order to get them to leave, 'Hot footing'