LaLa Land

I've been reading a few of the reviews from the top guns on here and honestly I think some of these lads are nothing short of deluded.

Writing poems to the escorts and telling each and every one of them that they're the best they've ever met? How they'd would stay with them forever if circumstances were different? Errrr what circumstances? you mean you stop ridding 100 escorts a year or she give up and you both fall happily in love? Honest to sweet jaysis some of you lads are losing touch with reality.

Lads if you're going to write a review make it useful for us to read and spare us your stories about 'how you really connected' 'we became one' or the flowers and love hearts you sent them.

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

3) The Thank-you man
A punter who leaves reviews because he wants to send the escort a thank you after a good punt.

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That's me! Yeah!!!! What do I win????

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Originally Posted by Mr Magoo

I've been reading a few of the reviews from the top guns on here and honestly I think some of these lads are nothing short of deluded.

Writing poems to the escorts and telling each and every one of them that they're the best they've ever met? How they'd would stay with them forever if circumstances were different? Errrr what circumstances? you mean you stop ridding 100 escorts a year or she give up and you both fall happily in love? Honest to sweet jaysis some of you lads are losing touch with reality.

Lads if you're going to write a review make it useful for us to read and spare us your stories about 'how you really connected' 'we became one' or the flowers and love hearts you sent them.

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But sure look its nice to look back on something in anice way i guess. If they are happy being whatever then what harm. Better to look back and have a smile in your heart then a thorn in your side i guess.

where did that come from? Never knew it was in me.
Westside.

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

There are three kinds of reviewer:

1) The Narcissist
This guy wants to have more reviews than anyone else, he collects escorts like trophies. And is convinced he is gods gift to womankind.
2) The Critic
A close relative of the Narcissist, this guy thinks visiting escorts is like going to a restaurant and thinks he is the Michelin guide
3) The Thank-you man
A punter who leaves reviews because he wants to send the escort a thank you after a good punt. This guy will never leave bad reviews.

I think your poem writers are of the last kind. But why not? Has visiting an escort never been an emotional experience for you? Personally, if I don't write a review within a few hours I will never write one. The post-punting glow probably influence my reviews.

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4)The Informer
Feels it is his duty to inform all in graphic detail, starting from her head to her toes about the entire punt, even down to the color of the throw pillows.
5) The Rambler
Not a coherent thought in sight for this lad, uses not punctuation, or capital letters and writes in run-on sentences.
6) The Cryptic
Writes in an a sort of code known only to himself.
7) The B-List Novelist
Writes an epic tale of punting lore, which leaves even the lady he visited wondering who the hell he is on about.
8) The Realist
A rare creature indeed, he manages to stick to the salient points of the punt. Limiting it to the actual details of the encounter.

There fixed it.

I wouldn't call my visits 'emotional', I'm there for fun and games. I don't want to sound like an escort now but emotions don't come into play when I visit, I live in the real world.

I think the poem writers fall into a fourth category, the fantasists. They actually believe that something other than money was exchanged between the two of them. The reviewer I'm referring to seems to have fallen in love with just about every escort he's every been with.

Good answer though, you're spot on.


I hope you like the flowers I sent you,
I miss you with all my heart and can't wait till our next encounter,
you truly are my world and I would marry you if I could.
Love Magoo xxxx

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Originally Posted by Violette

4)The Informer
Feels it is his duty to inform all in graphic detail, starting from her head to her toes about the entire punt, even down to the color of the throw pillows.
5) The Rambler
Not a coherent thought in sight for this lad, uses not punctuation, or capital letters and writes in run-on sentences.
6) The Cryptic
Writes in an a sort of code known only to himself.
7) The B-List Novelist
Writes an epic tale of punting lore, which leaves even the lady he visited wondering who the hell he is on about.
8) The Realist
A rare creature indeed, he manages to stick to the salient points of the punt. Limiting it to the actual details of the encounter.

There fixed it.

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9) The rebutter.
Writes in a style strangely reminiscent of the text on the escort's profile page. This reviewer's reviews are always positive, and appear soon after a negative review. ;)

10. The Pimp. Doesn't speak or write English well. Copies and pastes inappropriately. Usually less than 3 reviews, all of escorts with less than 2 reviews.

11. The Escort. Trying to drum up some business

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

Emotions are real, you can still feel emotions with someone and not let them guide your better judgement. A punt where merely money and fluids are exchanged ranks very low in my view. Regarding fantasists, an escort is selling nothing but fantasy, if it were otherwise we would simply wank in our beds on our own. Everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist.

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Some more so than others. They are there for a fantasy, and most are aware of that fact, but you do have some poor souls who can't tell the difference and that is when things can get messy quickly.
Also to feel something deeper during a punt is not a reason to kick the wife to the curb and head to Gretna Green, it just shows that we can have the potential to be attracted to more than one person at the same time.

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

Emotions are real, you can still feel emotions with someone and not let them guide your better judgement. A punt where merely money and fluids are exchanged ranks very low in my view. Regarding fantasists, an escort is selling nothing but fantasy, if it were otherwise we would simply wank in our beds on our own. Everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist.

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My reference to fantasists was related to the punters who sadly start to believe that there is some sort of connection going on between them and the escort. They don't realise it's all an act, they actually believe that the escort fancies them and wants to be with them.

Read some of the reviews from the big names and you'll see what I mean. They're tragic.

It seems that the punters with the big bucks are the most deluded of all. Would make for a great psychological research paper.

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Originally Posted by Mr Magoo

I've been reading a few of the reviews from the top guns on here and honestly I think some of these lads are nothing short of deluded.

Writing poems to the escorts and telling each and every one of them that they're the best they've ever met? How they'd would stay with them forever if circumstances were different? Errrr what circumstances? you mean you stop ridding 100 escorts a year or she give up and you both fall happily in love? Honest to sweet jaysis some of you lads are losing touch with reality.

Lads if you're going to write a review make it useful for us to read and spare us your stories about 'how you really connected' 'we became one' or the flowers and love hearts you sent them.

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Some punters are actually nice people who like to show a bit of respect.
You really are a cock.

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Originally Posted by mr maxi

You really are a cock.

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Omg , did u actually call him a cock . You do know thats an infraction lol

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Originally Posted by An don

Omg , did u actually call him a cock . You do know thats an infraction lol

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Oooops did i.
If i did then its worth the infraction.

I am not really a fan of very lengthy stories as opposed to a normal proper review. But every now and then one will catch my attention as it may be funny or rediculously detailed. To the point where you think "What was he on when he typed up this."

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Originally Posted by Mr Magoo

I've been reading a few of the reviews from the top guns on here and honestly I think some of these lads are nothing short of deluded.

Writing poems to the escorts and telling each and every one of them that they're the best they've ever met? How they'd would stay with them forever if circumstances were different? Errrr what circumstances? you mean you stop ridding 100 escorts a year or she give up and you both fall happily in love? Honest to sweet jaysis some of you lads are losing touch with reality.

Lads if you're going to write a review make it useful for us to read and spare us your stories about 'how you really connected' 'we became one' or the flowers and love hearts you sent them.

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I agree with Fish….everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist. Isn’t that the whole purpose…. to fulfil fantasies? Most of us guys wouldn’t stand a chance of being with one of these beautiful girls in reality…lets face it. But to knock a guy because he feels he has experienced an emotion is wrong and frankly unfair. We all know that this is just a game and its not real but lets not judge each others experience and scoff at another’s thrills. It is possible to have emotional experiences with these girls. I call it the click factor. Some you click with others you don’t. But if you do click sometimes you can walk away with a little more of a pep in your step. If a guy wants to be all soppy and leave a little lurve note, that’s his business. We as mature adults can read between the lines. Having said that unfortunately there have been a few individuals that have got caught up in the web of LURVE and that is sad for them.

As for the reviews of the BIG GUNS, I presume you mean the more frequent reviewers, and having read most of their reviews, see little to support your argument. I do not know what category on the 1 to 11 I myself fall into but I personally don’t give a fiddlers whether I am considered to be sycophantic or not. I review as I would like to see others review. If I feel I have clicked with one girl over another, I will attempt to portray this in my review if I can.

As for your own reviews Mr Magoo, I would prefer if you would concentrate more on the girl you have met rather than the condition of her bathroom facilities. Just an observation.

I get great fun from reading some of the deluded nonsense that masquerade as reviews. Don't put a dampner on these Lotharios expressing their innermost feelings. I couldn't live in a world without schmaltz (there's a song that goes something like that, I think).

I think a review should mainly concern itself with plotting a point along the xy axis to indicate where the cash outlay intersected with the level of sexual satisfaction received.

Some of this lad's reviews make me chuckle.

Reviews of Irish escorts written by Irish escort client joejw - Escort Ireland

It's good to know that the ladies enjoy the meetings as much as he does. ;)

Right first of all I am not a "big gun" but have felt connected with one or two escorts in the past year and thats what I love. I don't know if they felt the same or they were just in work mode, but I felt it and thats what I paid for and thats why I see escorts. It was real for me and as the client that is what I wanted. Happy client = good review.

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

Thank you. The voice of experience that masks a memory of awkward and perhaps "messy" experiences. Hopefully very few.
I always forget that the escort has no idea who is behind the door. There has to be a real skill in gently ushering men out the door when they don't want to leave.

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Luckily I haven't had too many problems. Thank goodness. Most gents are happy to come enjoy my pleasures and return to their lives.

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Originally Posted by Mr Magoo

I wouldn't call my visits 'emotional', I'm there for fun and games. I don't want to sound like an escort now but emotions don't come into play when I visit, I live in the real world.

I think the poem writers fall into a fourth category, the fantasists. They actually believe that something other than money was exchanged between the two of them. The reviewer I'm referring to seems to have fallen in love with just about every escort he's every been with.

Good answer though, you're spot on.


I hope you like the flowers I sent you,
I miss you with all my heart and can't wait till our next encounter,
you truly are my world and I would marry you if I could.
Love Magoo xxxx

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I know the review you are talking about.
First of all if you are going to spend 12 hours with a lady then there has to be some type of connection between you.
I wouldn't just pick any lady , it would have to be one i've either met before or chatted to on this site.
I believe both of the above to be have occurred.
I also think that a lot of time and thought was put into the poem and this is a way of showing gratitude and respect to the lady in question.
I enjoyed reading the the review.
You say the reviewer has falen in love with every escort he's met. Maybe he just picks the right ones.
We all know this is an arrangement with no further committments and you are a fool to think otherwise but if you don't go in with the correct attitude then we may all end up as bitter as you.
Love Maxi xxxx lol

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Originally Posted by Mr Magoo

I've been reading a few of the reviews from the top guns on here and honestly I think some of these lads are nothing short of deluded.

Writing poems to the escorts and telling each and every one of them that they're the best they've ever met? How they'd would stay with them forever if circumstances were different? Errrr what circumstances? you mean you stop ridding 100 escorts a year or she give up and you both fall happily in love? Honest to sweet jaysis some of you lads are losing touch with reality.

Lads if you're going to write a review make it useful for us to read and spare us your stories about 'how you really connected' 'we became one' or the flowers and love hearts you sent them.

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I couldnt agree with u more it is silly some reviews are like essays.......

Writing reviews is voluntary. So is reading them.

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Originally Posted by JAMESCORK

I agree with Fish….everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist. Isn’t that the whole purpose…. to fulfil fantasies? Most of us guys wouldn’t stand a chance of being with one of these beautiful girls in reality…lets face it. But to knock a guy because he feels he has experienced an emotion is wrong and frankly unfair. We all know that this is just a game and its not real but lets not judge each others experience and scoff at another’s thrills. It is possible to have emotional experiences with these girls. I call it the click factor. Some you click with others you don’t. But if you do click sometimes you can walk away with a little more of a pep in your step. If a guy wants to be all soppy and leave a little lurve note, that’s his business. We as mature adults can read between the lines. Having said that unfortunately there have been a few individuals that have got caught up in the web of LURVE and that is sad for them.

As for the reviews of the BIG GUNS, I presume you mean the more frequent reviewers, and having read most of their reviews, see little to support your argument. I do not know what category on the 1 to 11 I myself fall into but I personally don’t give a fiddlers whether I am considered to be sycophantic or not. I review as I would like to see others review. If I feel I have clicked with one girl over another, I will attempt to portray this in my review if I can.

As for your own reviews Mr Magoo, I would prefer if you would concentrate more on the girl you have met rather than the condition of her bathroom facilities. Just an observation.

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Fair comment but I will pull you up on the bathroom reference. I mention it for a reason.

I've been on punts where there was no shower gel, toilet paper, fresh towel or hot water. In one case the toilet seat was down and unflushed.

If you're a client who likes giving r/o then this would be relevant when reading a review. It tells you a lot about the girls regard to her personal hygiene and that of her clients.

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Originally Posted by JAMESCORK

As for your own reviews Mr Magoo, I would prefer if you would concentrate more on the girl you have met rather than the condition of her bathroom facilities. Just an observation.

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There once was a lad called Magoo
Who proceeded to write a review
"Her bathroom is clean
She has listerine"
Does the poor lad not know what to do? :D

everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist. Isn’t that the whole purpose…. to fulfil fantasies?

Not for me. I visited escorts because i wanted to keep away from the usual stuff and give my mind a break. Thats all i will say as i wont bore you with the rest. I dont visit them now as i am no longer in a position i was in.

Most of us guys wouldn’t stand a chance of being with one of these beautiful girls in reality…lets face it.

Any guy could be with some of these girls in reality. Different girls are looking for different things in a relationship or even in a fling. The trick is knowing what that is and this is done by talking and simply being yourself and not staring at her chest half the night. You also have to be realistic and some, including the girls arent.

But if you do click sometimes you can walk away with a little more of a pep in your step.

True but the important thing is keeping that pep in perspective.

Westside.

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Originally Posted by fishermansoul

Everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist.

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Having fantasies and being a fantasist are two different things in my opinion.......

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Originally Posted by Bustybronte

Having fantasies and being a fantasist are two different things in my opinion.......

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Sure thing sweetie.

Having fantasies = playing out a fantasy.

Being a fantasist = playing out a fantasy and getting your money back.

big diff,
Westside.

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everyone who visits an escort is a fantasist. Isn’t that the whole purpose…. to fulfil fantasies?

Not for me. I visited escorts because i wanted to keep away from the usual stuff and give my mind a break. Thats all i will say as i wont bore you with the rest. I dont visit them now as i am no longer in a position i was in.

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Isn’t getting away from the usual stuff a form of fantasy.

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Most of us guys wouldn’t stand a chance of being with one of these beautiful girls in reality…lets face it.

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Any guy could be with some of these girls in reality. Different girls are looking for different things in a relationship or even in a fling. The trick is knowing what that is and this is done by talking and simply being yourself and not staring at her chest half the night. You also have to be realistic and some, including the girls arent.

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Eh..I don’t thinks so West….most of the girls I visit are top of the range beautiful girls and are way out of my league. You would want to have the looks of Brad Pitt, the charisma of George Clooney or the wealth of Bill Gates to stand a chance.

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But if you do click sometimes you can walk away with a little more of a pep in your step.

True but the important thing is keeping that pep in perspective.

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That’s where the mature adult comes in.