funny post from E-S

found this post on E-S, funny shit!! (i know i should be thinking of these things myself instead of robbing them, but i'm not that funny :( )
:clapping: :lmao: :clapping: :lmao: :clapping: :lmao:

Quote:

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For some time many of us have wondered who is "Jack Shit?".
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says " You don't know Jack Shit."
Well thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O Shit the owners of knee deep in shit inc......
In turn Jack Shit married No Shit.
The couple had 6 children : Holy Shit , Giva Shit , Fulla Shit , Bull Shit and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit a high school dropout
After 15 years Jack and No Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became No Shit Sherlock.
Mean while Dip Shit married Shit Happens
Bull Shit travelled the world and came home with an Italian bride Pisa Shit.
So tell me now you don't know Jack Shit............

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They sure have a good sense of humor (the scotts)

any more like this??

The old ones are the best ....

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!