Reasons why it's great to be a man.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* Movie nudity is virtually always female.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* Monday Night Football.
* The bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.
* A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
* You don’t have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is €10 for a three pack.
* You don’t have to shave below your neck.
* If you’re 46 and single nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* Flowers fix everything.
* Three pair of shoes is more than enough.
* Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
* You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
* Mechanics tell you the truth.
* You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking, “He must be mad at me.”
* You get to jump up and slap stuff.
* One mood, all the time.
* You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
* You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
* You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
* Wedding Dress €2000; Tux rental €100.
* You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
* If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
* The remote is yours and yours alone.
* Sky Sports.
* Bachelor parties rule over bridal showers.
* You don’t need to pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become life long buddies.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So… notice anything different?”
* There is always a game on somewhere.