You might have heard by now about the Pretenders' singer Chrissie Hynde and her controversial interview where she seemed to suggest that the victims of rape were to blame for what happened... but is that actually what she said? We take a look at it on the Escort Ireland blog.
Did Chrissie Hynde really blame rape victims?!
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31-08-15, 14:18Lara MillsDid Chrissie Hynde really blame rape victims?!
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31-08-15, 14:50Curvaceous Kate
No she was trying to say that there is an element of responsibility and it seems that there is no element of wrong on the side of the person raped regardless of what they might have been doing beforehand. You know how you have your 'cock teasers' and girls that will let a guy buy them drinks all night and then walk away at the end of it etc. She thinks that this needs to be taken into account. I suppose it is about respect and respect is a two way thing.
Do I agree with her? I do when it comes to mixed signals yes. There are sometimes guys accused of rape where they thought it was with consent, as they never actually said no or protested, but the next day they feel guilty or they get caught out and all of a sudden it was 'rape'.
However, no always means no! Yes it is wrong for anyone to take advantage of the other and using your sex appeal to tease, or use a guy is wrong, but it's not acceptable to take what you want without consent whatever the circumstances. That doesn't make the person using their sex appeal to get what they want right either and maybe this should be taken into consideration with regard to the length of a sentence, but it certainly shouldn't clear the offender or prevent them going to prison.
Another reason while it's better to see a sex worker than have a one night stand. At least with a sex worker both parties know the score right from the start. No game playing and no rape. (unless they are coerced or trafficked) which can be avoided with a little research. -
31-08-15, 14:51Genie in a Bottle
No, don't think she was trying to say that
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31-08-15, 15:2310inchesandcountingIt is true that her statement is controversial,but what I think she was trying to say is some women don't use common sense. A bit like someone walking alone and flashing his valuable in the Bronks N.Y at night and gets mugged and complain later.Whose fault is that?Quote:
Originally Posted by lara
Either way the victim should know better.
In a perfect world nobody gets raped/mugged/killed.....,and you don't lock your front door,but guess what ? it is not a perfect world and common sense dictates to be careful and not to make yourself a target or accept a ride/drink from a stranger.( my parents told me so when I was a toddler)
It is a dangerous place out there with some very dangerous predators and women are seen as easy preys, and girls have keep their wits about. -
31-08-15, 15:52willie wacker
She,s a want a be Muslin , stupid bitch :mad:
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31-08-15, 17:27LadyvonteeseI think before I got involved into the fetish scene in London I may have agreed with her statements but she needs to get her ass in one of the fetish clubs in London and see how people are dressed, who are enjoying each others company, playing erotic games (no sex or swinging) just sexy hot erotic fun in a safe consensual environment while respecting one another's boundaries, with like-minded people. However the Irish fetish scene is not the same, as is the case in "some" other countries around the world too.Quote:
Originally Posted by lara
Fuck with someone boundaries and you out the door like a bullet from a gun in London, simple (sexually assaulted a person, police are called! And the word get about so someone not respecting someone boundaries ect will not be let into other fetish clubs either. Friends/ stranger look out for each other when around new people at the clubs and in the after parties etc, if I/someone wanted to snog/play with my/a friends husband/wife or snuggle up to him/her I/they would not just go and do it, just like one would not do it in the vanilla world (normal life). Permission has to be agreed on first and foremost regardless! If someone is doing something without a person's consent, its abuse in all walks of life, regardless where, when or who with!
To say someone was asking to get rapped or abused in anyway whatsoever, just because they drank to much, or because of what they were wearing or because they were at such and such a place is totally ridiculous! And only narrow minded fools who don't know any better would say such a thing or those who do not know any better (and some year back I too would have included myself in that category too).
No offence intended to any gay, lesbian or others, but seriously if a gay guy or woman got rapped by a same sex person or a husband rapped his wife. Or if a sex worker was rapped by a clent, it would not make the crime any less of a crime!
If Rihanna and Christina Aguilera went out in their show attire, (and been seen to do so with more than a few drinks inside them) and got rapped it would not and should not been seen as less of a crime due to they are artist and wear these outfits for work but a female wearing her bikini or underwear at a party was then just asking for it, FFS its just stupid!
Chrissie Hynde only mistake of thinking she was with friends she "thought" she could trust like many of us do all around the world and in all walks of life when we go out on the town or to many event!
Rape is rape and if someone has said NO, NO means No, not "N" and a "O"! No-one made her abuser/attaker rape her. Her attacker made the decision to rape her. He could have made the decision to leave the premises he was at while in her company instead. She can not be held responsible for what someone else is thinking or their reaction towards her regardless of the situation.
Yes she may have put herself in a vulnerable position by trusting who she believed were safe people to unwind and chill with which is not a crime! But any form of abuse is, even in the fetish scene the law clearly states "any person leaving a mark on another person which last for more than 3 hours is classed as GBH" since 2012.And again both in the swing scene, fetish and BDSM rape is rape!
Of course her reaction is to blame herself but even a wife who has been rapped or abused by the hands of her own husband will spend time blaming herself as is the case of a person who has been kidnapped or put though any traumatic experience so why her statement be controversial. We all deal with shock in many different way and only time can help heal.
I feel for her after having her trust abused by those she trusted, I am guessing it going to be a long time before she trust in someone again, making her struggle in dealing with the issue even more harder than most due to her being in the public media..
I wish her a speedy recovery and hope she able to take time out. And who know, maybe once she had had time she maybe able to help others in similar situations
I think some have just led very sheltered life with some of what has been mentioned but who am I too talk when I see it from both point of view as I mention.
All the best, stay safe and all the best
Lady Von Teese -
31-08-15, 20:53weeschmoo
No she didn't. She blamed herself for her own rape. If anyone, with the exception of Kate had bothered to read what she wrote in her autobiography. The rest was common sense, Don't put yourself in a position of harm, through drugs or drink or actions where you could be taken advantage of.