A joke.

A woman went to her doctor for a full check up as she was getting married for the 5th time. After the examination the doctor looked very puzzled. "I can't believe you married four times already, cos you're still a virgin!" She replied "I can explain - 1st hubby was a gynaecologist - all he wanted to do was look at it. 2nd was a psychologist - all he wanted to do was talk about it. 3rd was a builder and he kept saying he'd get round to it next week. 4th was a Fianna Fail TD and all he wanted to do was kiss my arse "What does your fiance do?" She says "He is a banker". The doctor smiled and said. "Well, you will definately get fucked this time!" ;):D

A Dub walks into AIB and says to the cashier at the window, "I want to open a fucking current account"
Lady replied "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"
"Listen up dumb blonde, I said I want to open a fucking account right now."
"Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"
She left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no problem," the man said, "I just won 3 Million in the lottery and I want to open a fucking bank account in this fucking bank!"
"I see sir," the manager said, "and this fucking bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Haha at both !

This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car.
A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop.
The guy got out, shaking like a leaf.
The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend.
When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf.
The cop said there was no reason to be scared,
because he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me,
it's just that I've never fucked a cop before!"