Dear Dick

Hello fellow punters, the problem forum is back, todays problem comes from Bill and Ben, 2 punters from Finglas . . . .

Dear Dick,
We are 2 normal blokes, we enjoy a drink, a chicken curry, and watching our favorite team- Liverpool, play a match.
Now we also enjoy a punt, but our problem is the price! Come on now, 150e for a fucking shag? thats almost the same price of a nights drinking and chicken curry eating for the pair of us, please tell us, what can we do to reduce the price of a visit to an escort?. We really enjoy a visit to a escort, especially after a few pints and chicken currys, where can we get cheaper shags? Yours- Bill and Ben.

Lads, that question, how to get a cheaper escort, has baffled scientists the world over for years now, its almost impossible to solve, but wait- because your Uncle Dick has the answer! Heres what yous should do- go to a escort and do a double booking, each of yous pay 75e for the half hour, the result- the escort gets her normal 150e for the 30 minutes, and each of you get your 30 minute shag. Look at the 2 guys in the picture below, they too are Liverpool supporters- cheap, stingy, half wits.
So there yous go lads, hope that helped, Dick

PS, up United!

Another problem, this time from Frankie in Cork . . . .


Dear Dick,
Hello there boyo, I have a problem, with which I need help, and I need it fast, you see I have a fetish about womens arses, I like nothing more than getting up close to a womans arse, and just looking at it, sniffing it, licking it and so on. Now yesterday I visited a Czech escort, Melo was her name, fantastic arse- really great looking arse crack- anyway while I was sniffing her arse, she tripped over and before I knew it my head was stuck up her arse- I include a picture below, this is me- up Melos arse.
Now Dick this is the problem, Melo is going back to the Czech republic tomorrow, and theres no fucking way I am going there, on top of that I am dying for a cigerette!
How can I get my head out of her arse? Thanks in advance- Frankie.

Frankie- what kind of weirdo are you? You like sniffing escorts arses? Fuck- what is it with you guys from Cork, and I thought Westside was bad!
Anyway, heres what you do- rub your head in margarine, take a deep breath, and pull your head out.

Fuck -Sniffing womens arses?, are you a Catholic priest ?.
And Frankie- dont call me Boyo.