Who wants to play?
I will do the start
There was once a lass from Clare
Who had a lot of love to share..
???:D
Each person does two lines, or starts again.
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Who wants to play?
I will do the start
There was once a lass from Clare
Who had a lot of love to share..
???:D
Each person does two lines, or starts again.
I tried to come up with a ditty
For this thread, that was very witty
But try hard as I might
(I've been at it all night)
Everything I thought of was shitty
:(
There once was a vermin named Mousey
Who's Limericks were frankly quite lousy.
When put to the test
He would do his best
But always came across quite mouthy.
There once was a priest from Priesthaggard
who was known far and wide as a blaggard
he would ride his housekeeper
in her snatch and her kiester
'til the only way she could walk was to stagger
(*Priesthaggard is a little town near Waterford)
JamesCork fancied himself a poet
But he wasn't, and now we all know it
He bet the house
He could take on the Mouse
When he really should have just stowed it
Sad verse....
We are about to lose a buddy named Benny
Who turned up on the boards like a bad penny
We're now in the shits
Cos we love him to bits
Why does he have to go and not Enda Kenny.
There once was a mixed-up stripper from Cong
who took the stage-name of Felicity Long
and all the audience members who saw her
at the end were always bowled over
by the quite enormous length of her schlong
(Other placenames to work on: Coolock, Ballydehob, Dripsey, Vicarstown...)
The was a young man from Timbuktu
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
There was once a escort named jane
she loved to have sex in the rain
all was well and dandy until she fell into a drain
she still loves to jump but only having one leg is a pain.
(That was super lame, but I tried)
there once was a man named john he had sex with a hot blonde as he took off her sock he discovered her cock and in a minute he was gone
Ok, having sniggered at certain efforts on this thread only thought it fair to have a go myself; apologies in advance ...
Here is a dismal effort at a Limerick:
There was a young boy with a rather big toy
which to play with brought him great joy
until one fine day
a girl came to play
and showed him how best to employ
, and here is my rather pathetic (but, eh, soulful) attempt at a haiku, ahem -
I have given my soul to a girl named Nikole
Ps - last time I checked a Haiku had 17 syllables (... FWIW my old English teacher went on to become a Professor at Harvard specialising in the form - I'm sure he'd be very erm 'proud?' of the above).
Pps - Luce I promise to refrain from sniggering at any further attempts you may make ... :)
there once was a gal from Scunthorpe
who tried to have sex with a corpse
she managed to coitus
mostly cos of rigor moi-tis
but the pillow-talk was awkward and short
There once was a girl from a town named Trim,
who's beautiful arse I couldn't wait to rim.
She then lowered her bum right down on my face,
I then licked her hole till it disappeared without trace.
Guys & Lucy ..... A limerick has specific rhythm that has to be adhered to. Allow me to attempt to rearrange rovers masterpiece (though non-limerick) to demonstrate my point.
Ahem *cough*
There once was a young lassie from trim
Who's arse I was gagging to rim
I nearly started go cum
When she lowered her bum
Later on I moved on to her quim.
Notice lines 1,2 & 5 rhyme and have the same number of beats. lines 3 & 4 should also rhyme. this is a limerick. Hope this demonstrates it for you guys and Lucy.
I still think mine is better Jim,
I know Lucy's arse, you're dying to rim.
There was a young lassie from Trim,
who wanted to ride the arse off of Jim.
He wouldn't oblige her, the reason you see,
he was ass over heels besotted with Lucy. (Oh dear, a bit rushed, FAIL).
I'm like a fine wine, improving with age, (actually, deteriorating with age).
http://www.goodgiftsshop.org/netalogue/photos/3008.jpg
There was a young man from Boston
Who drove around in an Austin
He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas
But his ball hung out
and he lost them
through poetry we will show em
that nasty posts we deplore em
so dont create an angry thread
losing a member we do dread
heres to enjoying the ei forum
Rover is besotted with the female ass,
he'll lick out the hole of any lass.
What's the attraction to a ladies bum,
lowered on his face, it makes him cum.
Poor old Rover, he's so mixed up,
why can't he just settle for a fanny,
to stick his cock up.
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They’ll pay to get out of it, too
There once was a young whore from Baltray
who had sex at least six times a day
it helped out with her figure
'til her tummy grew bigger
now there's a pair of twins on the way
There once was an old gravedigger from Dingle
who dug out all of his holes from the middle
when he was procreating
well, he did just the same thing
now his wife has no control of her piddle
Oh gawd somone bumped this back up
As I was just about to go to the pub
if ye continue to post
Ill contribute like most
Looks like tonight Ill not get a sup
The girl in front
had a big cunt.
The girl behind
was fucking blind.
She must have been
to have been with me.