As a counterweight to the huge emphasis placed on ‘how much?, how Long?, what do you do?” mentality from the Client side and the equally clinical, “get em in, get em out, way that seems to also be pervasive for some Escorts (not saying either is wrong, just doesn’t appeal to me) Does anyone feel that it is quite demeaning and cheapening to both in the long run. I just want to ask are there any exponents from both sides of a different way to go about things. I feel it has ended up in the wrong gear, a far too high a gear given the intimate nature of the road being driven, that it will eventually wear out both sides gear boxes (even literally maybe).
I ask as I am reliably informed that a form of Escorting exists that appeals to me very much I have to say, and does not get mentioned here ever as far as I am aware. It is something thankfully far removed from the fixation most seem to have here of a rather clinical, cold and functional arrangement in the main but hopefully not exclusively. Decided on a shopping list of sorts, pounds, pence, time, to which I feel that anyone, be they Escort or Client would and will be damaged over a long period of time dealing “only” with catering to physical needs, be they the purveyors or recipients, and was something very different, that although not a conventional relationship by any stretch of the imagination, (it can never be) as it was described to me was much more rewarding to both, a relationship “of sorts” that can develop over many years and not always be just sex, but others pursuits.
It was something I had hoped existed but never knew it can on occasion go to a level of trust between both Escort and Client that I found truly heartwarming, but it requires both parties to be givers, not just taker’s. So it may be a rarity, but still feel it important to highlight its existence here, even it is only a few drop’s in an sea of only sex, the bottom line, and nothing more. The spreadsheet Vs the soul if you will.
I feel this is what true Escorting encompasses, to some degree or another. A symbiotic relationship that not just money is exchanged but trust also and perhaps more, what I have related here is NOT just my non punter opinion, but it is exactly how I feel also, and would like to know if anyone would be off a similar mind in how they approach this be they Escort or Client, of course money is the driver for most, but it should not be the only hand on the wheel, something more personnel that grows over time should also play a part if possible or wanted by both. I know many may not want anything more then the physical side, but it is ultimately damaging I feel in particular to an Escort not to have something non fiscal returned, even it that is only a little real warmth on occasion, Inner warmth is finite, it has to be replenished if not to leave a cold core, even those that don’t feel this does not apply to them, should still be aware of it because it applies to everyone. Yes it is a business, but it is a uniquely intimate and personnel business. I and others just feel that there is to much emphasis on what you can get for so much in a given time frame and not for what you can give, that applies to both sides btw.
QPH…
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24-08-08, 14:26QuarterpoundherAldi and the fill your trolley mentality Vs. Corner Shop relationship…
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24-08-08, 16:05carlos marvadoFriendship/Relationship
What you're talking about does of course exist QPH. After all, both escorts and clients are people at the end of the day, and the more people get to know one another, the greater the opportunities for them to grow to like each other, or even more.
If you really want to get to know an escort properly i.e. socially, you have got to forget about the sexual aspect of things and threat them as a person who has other desirable qualities. Equally, if the Escort is interested in a person and wants to get to know them better, then she also has to make the leap to viewing that person as something other than a walking wallet or credit card. The rules of attraction are based on more than money and sex. Respect is paramount in this and there needs to be honesty and trust. I suspect that it may be more difficult for escorts to make the transition, because by the very nature of the work, escorts tend to lead a double life (so do some clients), and deception or a good acting ability is a necessary tool for self protection.
Having said that, there are plenty of nice people out there who do this work and who in terms of intelligence and personality can hold their own with anybody. As I stated before on a previous thread, escorts often need more than money; help and advice may also be required on occasions and this is where the trusted friend can be more important than the client.
The line about clients paying for an escort's time and companionship only is of course a complete misnomer, invented as a legal nicety. Anytime I've paid an escort, there was of course an implicit understanding that sexual services would be provided within the given time frame. What I've never paid for is for friendship and companionship and a lot more besides. You need to be able to bring something other than money to the plate for that.
QPH, you should actually get to meet some escorts sometime. I'm not suggesting that you pay for sex, but if an escort out there likes the way you think or write and offers to meet you for a coffee or meal, take them up on the offer. They're pretty interesting people with a lot more life experience than most.
PS. My money is on Kerry for the replay. -
24-08-08, 16:46thehighwayman
I'm with Carlos on this QPH, you should meet an escort for coffee and a chat. I have met a few interesting escorts over the years whose company I enjoyed just as much as the service they provide. I would regard some as friends as they told me personal things about themselves. One even told me her real name and where she was from. I have kept in touch through private message and msn messenger. I have found some escorts to be different to any woman I've met for real. Theres more maturity and life experience from some. You can't have that relationship with each escort you meet as she has to trust you as much as you trust her. The majority of escorts you meet though it's just the in and out situatiuon with no contact untill the next visit. It's difficult to interact in conversation with some escorts as it's clear that they are only there to provide a service.
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24-08-08, 17:41Dub LadOk I am all for forming bonds with escorts I am however I think when you start a friendship relationship on the basis of 1st sex is never a good thing for the simple reason you will get a man who is an emotional wreck who is married and unhappy and a bond with an escort is something to deep I mean he might get the wrong idea and get carried away and fall for herQuote:
Originally Posted by thehighwayman
A girlfriend experience service I think is a dangerous one for that reason
But at the end of the day...escorts get paid to tell you things you want to hear and for an emotionally inept person this is dangerous !!! -
25-08-08, 08:29roryman
Well its a nice idea QPH, but what you are describing is an affair
Remember most punters are married or in a relationship, so they dont want to be seen in public.
Generally the system works well, but if you read the reviews, its quite interesting how a guy can be made to feel "extra" special because he got an extra 10 - 30mins, even if its just talk.
And thats the thing, some escorts are just "born to do it" because they are people persons, who enjoy the company
When a beautiful sex woman fixes soley you within her gaze, you walk out feeling 10ft high.
The best ones dont need coffee! -
25-08-08, 17:01VioletteActually, it isn't an affair! And affair implies falling in love and all the associated crap that that can breathe. Ask any man who has had one, it is just trading in a old car for a new model, just to find out, it too will develop the same problems down the road, and he will be wanting a new upgrade, or it will cost him loads in repairs and maintenance. :) Cynical I know, but hey. It is a friendship based on having done things a bit backwards, meaning getting the sex out of the way first and then getting to realize there is a person there you like and can get on with. Hey come to think of it most relationships start this way as well, the difference here is you don't have to have a second date, or call the morning after! Kisses VioletteQuote:
Originally Posted by roryman
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25-08-08, 17:50bigpawsVioletteThe problem is Violette that if the relationship with an escort becomes anything more than just sex it can lead to one of the parties becoming emotionally attached unintentionally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Violette
I'm not saying that a healthy balanced friendship between escort and client is not possible, it is but it can often go wrong .............. this is coming from somebody who does have escort friends and has never had any problems ............ but I also know it can go the other way quite easily.
Also (and this is more personal than I like to get usually on here) I have had in the past a year-long affair (I was single) with a married woman and it ended badly.
We started off on a purely sexual basis as it was apparent that we were compatible in that department, it then developed into a solid friendship as we both genuinely liked eachother as people ............ then she decided she wanted to leave her husband to be with me because she loved me. It killed me to have to tell her I wasn't in love with her also but I couldn't let her make a life changing decision to be with a man that did not love her.
That is an example of how a relationship based solely on sex (as with an escort/client) can lead to one person having their heart broken and another left with the guilt.
Paws -
25-08-08, 17:51rorymanArrh Violette, you old fashioned romantic thing you!Quote:
Originally Posted by Violette
yes I suppose an affair does implie falling in love etc, but to me they mean just NSA as that seems to be the modern way, as many people just seem to want that and dont want to leave their partners.
BTW I am looking for a new Corvette - racy, spirited, head turner. Interested?
(you know you are going to get a whole load of car jokes now - esp QPH!)
(Should I compare thee to a Porche, I saw one fine summer morning?)
Love your tour headline, is it a case of "Would like to meet?" :D -
25-08-08, 18:24experienced puntera true Story..a Very measured response Paws - I admire & commend you for your blatant honesty in this post & indeed many other posts. I have been encouraged albeit reluctantly (!) to tell my own experience. Yes I had an affair with an escort few years ago I felt we loved each other until after a few months later she told me she 'loved the sex & loved me as a person'Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpaws
but was not 'in love with me'. I was heartbroken:(
How could I or any guy fall in love with an escort, how could u fall in love with a girl who has other sexual partners , well things happen life can be unpredictable! an Escort can live a very lonely life I Guess I was lonely too..
Better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all:) -
26-08-08, 06:32VioletteThanks Rory,Quote:
Originally Posted by roryman
Yes that is me, romantic to the core! :) But seriously, what are most people looking for anyway when they start an affair, sex, emotional support, a bit of fun? These can be the basic beginnings, but after the basic need is met, what then? This is when the situation can become a bit muddled and confused. Also, most people can't seperate sex from love, especially in a Catholic dominated country. We have forgotten that basically we are animals and some needs have to be met. This doesn't imply the need for a relationship, it is just a need for a release.
As to affairs, I have had an affair with a married man for about three years now, he has a new baby and all, the cutest thing. We take trips all over the place, and yes I love him dearly, but I also am not going to ask him to leave his wife, not because I have any great feeling for her and the new baby, but I have though of the complications to MY life! Good grief what a mess that would be, and he does know what I do! We didn't meet that way! But, with my travel schedule it would be hell on him sitting home night after night alone, with only my three moggies for company. Not Good! He travels and I travel and it works, the day it stops working is the day we make some changes, but for now it is great! Plus I am one of these rare creatures, a practical woman. :D I know men will be boys and get up to mischeif from time to time. As long as he comes home to me in the end, no harm no foul. Kisses V
p.s. As to the car thing, you have to get under my bonnet to really hear my engine purr. Kisses