Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know
I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!
[I'm An Asshole lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)
A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!
*dog barking noises*
I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Sincerely,
West.........................
.....................................................Side.:)
Cant forget Paws......................................
Printable View
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23-06-07, 22:42westsideCant forget Paws......................................
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24-06-07, 03:31bigpawsQuestion???
west STATEMENT : 10-06-07, 09:54 PM
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"goodbye commuinity and God bless. No longer have the time for the place (and no i wont be back) not for a long time anyway. Take care and have a happy life although i kinda doubt it with some here. If i have touched your life in any small way then you havent touched mine at all
And of course.............if youve enjoyed yourselves half as much as me...........then ive enjoyed myself twice as much as you..............
Sincerely and Most Wholeheartedly Affectionate,
Westside."
BIGPAWS QUESTION : "Could you please define (considering your previous goodbyes forever speeches!) how long a "long time" is west???????????
Thanks,
Paws"
ANSWER : A "long time/forever", according to west, is ................. 11 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! hahahahahahahaha
Welcome back west ....................... bit of a Denis Leary fan myself by the way!!!
Paws for thought -
24-06-07, 08:06westsideSimply put...............................................................Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpaws
Outright flattened ,speechless, reverting to the past and trying to come up with something.
You'll get there,
Westside. -
24-06-07, 11:01bigpawsBact To The Future!!!!
It's not the past when history keeps repeating it self west and we both know you won't last long here.
You'll give your "goodbye forever" speech .................... then turn up a couple days later as if nothing happened and hope nobody notices?!?!?!?! We have a name for people like you were I come from ................ sad bastard!!
Paws for thought -
24-06-07, 11:33westsideWrong again...............................................................hope nobody notices??? hahhah thats funny shit. Do you really think id tell people if i was going?? Hardly.Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpaws
ITs a great crack though when i did it once and came back and some of the responses. Well heheheheheh. Said i do again, and again and guess what? The same people bit the bullet again and again, tendering fondling my daddy bags and saying ah Westie ,ah Westie.
Come back West,
Westside.:) -
24-06-07, 12:21bigpawsAh .............
.................. I see west, you were only joking!!! haha You weren't really throwing tantrums and being a little girl, you were just having a laugh!!
You're so full of shit ............. you're like a deer caught in the headlights and you don't which way to run!! Try facing up to what you are and the reasons why you are the way you are instead of constantly lying ................ in short try growing a pair!!!!
Paws for thought -
23-10-10, 21:51An don
Were ye the only two on the forum back then lol
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23-10-10, 21:55johnmurphydoing a bit of bumping of you own i see :DQuote:
Originally Posted by An don
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23-10-10, 21:56johnmurphy
i have to agree with westide again
westside you are an asshole -
23-10-10, 21:58Lucy Chambers
Right, you two, An Don and JM, behave. If you are going to do any slagging you should do it on what has been said today and recently, not three year old threads.
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23-10-10, 22:00An donSorry miss chambers , My searches expired on tineye and i was bored .Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy chambers
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23-10-10, 22:03johnmurphybut its the same shite juicy does not matter if it was today or last yearQuote:
Originally Posted by lucy chambers
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23-10-10, 22:04Lucy ChambersQuite. But how would you feel if three years from now I was dragging up things that went on? Westside is inevitable. Like rain. Live with it boys.Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmurphy
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23-10-10, 22:09corkpunterCan't remember who it was that wrote it yesterday, about your English skills, whether you was a teacher (Sorry to whomever it was, I genuinely can't remember). This combined with your telling the boys off like this, leads me to believe you are indeed one. Sure you aren't?Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy chambers
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23-10-10, 22:10johnmurphyyou can drag up that afternoon in dublin if you wish juicyQuote:
Originally Posted by lucy chambers
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23-10-10, 22:10An donWell if miss chambers is a teacher , i hope they bring back corporal punishmentQuote:
Originally Posted by corkpunter
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23-10-10, 22:12johnmurphy
well she did teach me something i'm off to the pub now
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23-10-10, 22:15Lucy Chambers...........:)Quote:
Originally Posted by corkpunter
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23-10-10, 22:16Lucy ChambersIf only, Mr Murphy. It will be our secret. Enjoy the pub darling.Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmurphy
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23-10-10, 22:18nicegirlsareniceStop bumping old threads clown.Quote:
Originally Posted by An don
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23-10-10, 22:22Lucy ChambersStop spreading caustic nonsensical crap, juvenile.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicegirlsarenice
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23-10-10, 22:47An donUnfortunately for you , i refuse to take instruction from someone that has the limited brainpower of a wikepedia search. If maybe someone in a position of power tells me to stop posting on the elder threads , i will take it under advisement but not from someone with a smaller iq than my cock and believe me im being generous to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicegirlsarenice