I joined a Gym today. Bloody hell !!!!!!
So for the first time I have joined a Gym.
I decided it's about time I start to do some maintenance.
So in I go today for an assessment, well fuck me sideways with a dumbell !!
They tried to kill me.:mad:
So my "trainer" ( A very fit looking young lady, who smelt of a mixture of Clorine and Timotei.) sat me down and went through my details. Weighed me, measured me and pronounced I have a BMI of 20.1.
I asked if that meant I had the body of a 20 year old !! To which she laughed (cow) and said no but it was within the good zone.
So we then proceded into the fitness area.
I must say at this stage I was feeling good about myself, and was even toying with the idea that I was going to impress this girl.;)
I had told her that I mountain bike regularly, so she put me on the spin bike first.
That went great, she cranked the resistance up an up, not a bother, hardly broke a sweat.
Next the tread mill, that too went well. Faster and faster, steeper and steeper.
She nodded approvingly and took her notes. (Probably putting me down as a possible candidate to be a personal trainer for the gym:p)
This is when she brought me over to what could only be discribed as torture racks, machines designed to humiliate and subdue even the most eager of people.
Why would I even want to try and get my leg to touch my shoulder ?
I've been perfectly happy all my life not being able to do the splits ! Why oh why would they make a machine that tries to pull your legs apart like the wish bone in a chicken ?
I felt like I was visiting a gynecologist.
I left with my head held low.
So I have my programme, a list of tortures that I am to follow.
But for now I think the fetal position on the couch :o