I joined a Gym today. Bloody hell !!!!!!

So for the first time I have joined a Gym.
I decided it's about time I start to do some maintenance.

So in I go today for an assessment, well fuck me sideways with a dumbell !!
They tried to kill me.:mad:
So my "trainer" ( A very fit looking young lady, who smelt of a mixture of Clorine and Timotei.) sat me down and went through my details. Weighed me, measured me and pronounced I have a BMI of 20.1.
I asked if that meant I had the body of a 20 year old !! To which she laughed (cow) and said no but it was within the good zone.

So we then proceded into the fitness area.
I must say at this stage I was feeling good about myself, and was even toying with the idea that I was going to impress this girl.;)
I had told her that I mountain bike regularly, so she put me on the spin bike first.
That went great, she cranked the resistance up an up, not a bother, hardly broke a sweat.
Next the tread mill, that too went well. Faster and faster, steeper and steeper.
She nodded approvingly and took her notes. (Probably putting me down as a possible candidate to be a personal trainer for the gym:p)

This is when she brought me over to what could only be discribed as torture racks, machines designed to humiliate and subdue even the most eager of people.
Why would I even want to try and get my leg to touch my shoulder ?
I've been perfectly happy all my life not being able to do the splits ! Why oh why would they make a machine that tries to pull your legs apart like the wish bone in a chicken ?
I felt like I was visiting a gynecologist.
I left with my head held low.
So I have my programme, a list of tortures that I am to follow.

But for now I think the fetal position on the couch :o

Ah come on ... You will do great!

You are in great shape

Now keep doing the good work, never mind the chicken part. It will help you to get even more gorgeous :-)

Hope you didn't pay for the year up front. More than likely you will go a handful of times and then never go again

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Originally Posted by Lou Cefer

Hope you didn't pay for the year up front. More than likely you will go a handful of times and then never go again

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No just paying month by month a little more expensive but not tied into anything.

Joined a Gym once and lasted a week. Hope you stay longer than me. :)

First couple off sessions are hard but it does get easier stick at it it's an investment for the future.

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Originally Posted by nick2010

Ah come on ... You will do great!

You are in great shape

Now keep doing the good work, never mind the chicken part. It will help you to get even more gorgeous :-)

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lol thanks Nick, I'll have to arrange some post workout appointments with you. That might keep me going.

Trust me when that 12 pack arrives, it is so hard to get back to that 6 pack.
Who am I kidding, never had a 6 pack to start off with, ah but to dream!

Keep up with the work, you will feel better for it.

Try and incorporate some weight training as well. Bench press, curls etc…. You can still lose weight doing weights and get encouragement when you eventually see the results. I got despondent years ago doing just cardio cos my beer investment is only going to go so far to a six-pack unless I give up the gargle. But to see the upper half expand and increase, therefore minimizing the bulging belly, gave me incentive. I now find something missing in my life without my gym fix..

Stick with it Dave - it becomes addictive and you will find your energy levels increase daramatically - I am sure you will find an outlet for all that extra energy.

Aw I miss the gym :( havnt gone since iv been all over the place but does make you feel great :) , sexersize wil do me for now lol

Good luck anyway sweetie xxxx

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Originally Posted by ciara

Aw I miss the gym :( havnt gone since iv been all over the place but does make you feel great :) , sexersize wil do me for now lol

Good luck anyway sweetie xxxx

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And by the looks of things Caira, you're not lacking in it either! :D

Aw thanks babe
I'm vegetarian reckon it helps , strongly advised to all lol :D

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Originally Posted by ciara

Aw thanks babe
I'm vegetarian reckon it helps , strongly advised to all lol :D

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Ah... I bet you get your protein in other ways, Caira! :D ;)

Big thing with starting off in gym is fight the urge to go hammering at it everyday for an hour or 2 and start off with 3 or 4 days a week with 45 min session then as this gets easier and easier bring up the time, a well stocked iPod always helps too. Anyway hope ya stick to it pal

You can't beat a good pint

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Originally Posted by samlad

Ah... I bet you get your protein in other ways, Caira! :D ;)

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U can ask my clients that ;) lol , in Spain they had frogs legs on the menu I thought of u lol xxxx

Stay off cake for a while dave .: doc;)

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Originally Posted by dr love

Stay off cake for a while dave .: doc;)

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It's very hard to refuse a slice :)

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Originally Posted by dave1dave

It's very hard to refuse a slice :)

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That is sure is sir . Good on ya .: doc

Stick with it dave!

I used to go to the gym every weekday at 6am up to last december when i got really busy at work, i hated it when i started it, really hated it! but now i hate not going,

I got into the routine of going and really enjoyed it, its a bit of peace and quiet, no phone, work or home problems for an hour or two.

What i found the best was doing the weights first and cardio at the end, limiting the cardio to about 20 mins, i used to do cardio before and after weight training but i found much better results doing it just at the end.

You'll have more energy and be much happier after a good workout, i'm starting back on monday :)

Best of luck!! and remember "no pain, no gain"

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Originally Posted by hornylimerick

Best of luck!! and remember "no pain, no gain"

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Certainly got the pain bit :)

Was in gym the other day and a guy aked to borrow my roll on deoderant!!! I mean WTF!

Stick with it but take it easy. Build up slowly every week and don't forget to stretch after, its very important. It does get addictive but I love it. Plus ever notice there is alot of fit ladies in the gym, a bit of eye candy is another good reason for going.

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Originally Posted by dannyboy10

Was in gym the other day and a guy aked to borrow my roll on deoderant!!! I mean WTF!

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That is just wrong on so many levels lol

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Originally Posted by dannyboy10

Was in gym the other day and a guy aked to borrow my roll on deoderant!!! I mean WTF!

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As long as he didnt ask to borrow your chapstick.:D

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Originally Posted by dave1dave

That is just wrong on so many levels lol

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Another time some travellers were in the changing rooms and started clipping their toe nails and left them on the floor!
The puch bag got an extra good few raps after that!

Honestly... first month you will hate it... or might hate it. Then t will get addictive... if I read that you are not going, I'm infracting you for not going... ;)

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Originally Posted by jimmydee

Keep it up Dave, but remember, diet is just as important. Hard work will only get half the results if you are eating wrong

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Yeah if anything I could do with putting on a little weight, while controlling where its going.

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Originally Posted by jimmydee

look up Paleo principle.Its also known as the caveman diet, eating the way our ancestors did before farming gave us the shape we are now.
It`ll proportion you properly, and reduce your body fat percentage.
It is tough enough, but even spurting it for a month or so now and again while training hard can have drastic results

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I have heard of various athletes using this. It works quite well apparently.