View Full Version : Oven Ready Eddie Will You Survive Xmas???
Eddie,
We have come to love you dearly over the last while, and, given the time of year it is (such a dangerous time for turkeys), we are getting concerned about your welfare.
Please assure us you will survive yuletide and be with us in the new year? :eek:
Pat x
Irish Fiona
23-12-08, 00:51
I worry too Mr Ready!!
But i have the perfect place to keep you safe and warm over xmas!!
Now just out of curiosity...... are you free range or organic?? ;)
Clint Eastwood
23-12-08, 00:59
Steady now Eddie. You have to come quietly. I promise it wont hurt Ill be as humane as possible. A man has got to eat. Now Fiona is there any room up there for me too.
Irish Fiona
23-12-08, 01:43
Are you kidding me Mr Eastwood????
I've always got room for Dirty Harry in my warm safe place!!
Clint... you are my super man!!!!
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 08:22
Eddie,
We have come to love you dearly over the last while, and, given the time of year it is (such a dangerous time for turkeys), we are getting concerned about your welfare.
Please assure us you will survive yuletide and be with us in the new year? :eek:
Pat x
Fear not for Eddie is way ahead of the posse (no that’s not a typo). I have been undergoing extensive plastic surgery for months now and as I think the first att pic below will attest I have managed to attain an uncanny resemblance to one wee Tyrone lad who ‘almost’ won the X factor and if that don’t work then its on to plan B which the second att pic will explain far better then this humble randy rooster.
I’m doing the Xmas shopping today with the missus’s which is a feckin nightmare let me tell you when you have 500 wives to follow around aldi all day (were on a budget, no not budgie….BUDGET). we decided to charter a plane up to Dublin but I’ve no luck as it got hijacked by the burka boys and it wasn’t the smoothest of take offs (see pic 3) not sure where they plan to go but I heard it’s a toss up between KFC or Bernard Matthews home (GULP!!!) so either way my goose is cooked. I’m sick a parrot to be honest as I wanted to fly Ryanair but would those 500 cluckers listen?………noooooooo……:(
Anyway the next few days will tell if my plan will work so wings crossed and god willing I’ll live to see in the new year. :cool:
A merry Christmas to all the feathered fowl and game birds (sorry) this festive season and remember a turkey is not just for Christmas, its for……………(hang on…….it is only for Christmas)…………RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! :D:D:D
YouTube - Nelly Furtado - I'm Like A Bird (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxiYBcJi8y4)
Btw I think you win the award for the most subtle double entendre on an Escort site with the line...
‘We have come to love you dearly’
I think we all can identify with that and would make for a great E-I motto :)
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 08:28
I worry too Mr Ready!!
But i have the perfect place to keep you safe and warm over xmas!!
Now just out of curiosity...... are you free range or organic?? ;)
I’m not falling for that old chestnut again this year Fiona :), you said that last Christmas and yes it was lovely and warm but was faaaaaaaar from safe from my point of view as I ended up in your oven :eek:. (can’t think where else you could mean ;)). But to be honest I nearly ran into the oven and slammed the door behind me and said a decade of the rosary after the trip home in the boot of your car from tescos with the rest of you’re (ahem) ‘supplies’ for the festive season. Won’t say what you bought but lets just say I came out of that boot more worldly wise (and sore) then when I went in (RE : silver surfer) :p:)
JEEEEESUS WOMEN!!!! Talk about life flashing before my eyes (didn’t take long…egg, funny walk for a few months lookin redic and then the pot, hey…it’s a living) slooooow down Fiona that micra ain’t made for you’re tight schedule babes.
This chicken will NOT be crossing any road that you are on that’s for sure :p:)
And I’m free range btw, have my own little patch to scratch, but that’s enough about my medical problems. :eek:
Ps
Don’t you dare change that avatar btw as its giving this ole cockerel reason to ‘get up’ in the morning and crow in a new day. :D
Just for Princess Fiona, this is for you and merry Xmas and safe driving.
shrek alleluyah - Google Video (http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=shrek+alleluyah&emb=0&aq=f&aq=f#)
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 08:31
Steady now Eddie. You have to come quietly. I promise it wont hurt Ill be as humane as possible. A man has got to eat. Now Fiona is there any room up there for me too.
I always come quietly, you know that. See you soon, xmas rates apply as you are a regular. I promise that Magnum will melt in my beak and not in my wing. But jesus clint you are getting on a bit
Clint Eastwood
23-12-08, 13:29
Eddie that picture was taken a long time ago. I have had botox treatment done since.
Eddie that picture was taken a long time ago. I have had botox treatment done since.
Eastwood you and Fiona are a match made in heaven........Fi he is all yours, i give him to you as a Christmas gift - sorry i wont be wrapping him for you - if you send me your address i will of course put him in a jiffy bag.
Have a cherry merry one i have all me decorations up - well just one little one anyway.
Jingling all the way to the post office with your man - you deserve him you are always a good girl......... xx Happy Yule........
The Hot One......... Eddie when ya gotta go then go quietly........ xxx
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 13:57
Do they sell that stuff by the lorry load ? yer left cheek alone would need about a gallon to get it up from dragging along the ground :D:D:D
http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-dog-pictures-pug-unimpressed-by-botox-results.jpg
Clint Eastwood
23-12-08, 13:58
Dont I have a say in this Elizabeth. Im not a piece of meat you can give away at a drop of a hat. Im going knowhere untill I catch that chicken. What abot the engagement Elizabeth is it still on? How are the twins doing Ronnie and Regina.
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 14:02
Eddie when ya gotta go then go quietly
http://www.anointed.net/images/funny/turkey.jpg
I am a bit partial to chicken myself. But I'll pass. I'll be having a goose myself on Christmas Day. As they say what's good for the goose is good for the gander :D :D :D
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 20:40
You ain’t pumping me for oil JR and forget havin me over a barrel also :eek:
Don't count your chickens yet Eddie, JR always gets what he wants :D :D :D
You ain’t pumping me for oil JR and forget havin me over a barrel also :eek:
I think you may find that he has not got the industry behind him he works at a petrol station now...... xxx
Sorry to have to out you like that.
Sue Ellen made me..........xxxxxxxxxx
Has anyone seen Clarence and Pompom these days this is all i have left of her - just a little photo of her.
L
Oven Ready Eddie
23-12-08, 21:55
Don't count your chickens yet Eddie, JR always gets what he wants :D :D :D
Well I do like a man in a Stetson………oh ok so….how’d ya want me?, bbq’d or spit roasted? but tell Bobby to take a shower first
You leave Bob out of this. He'll never live this shower thing down. He's afraid to go in the shower now by the way. He was gone for a whole year dreaming in the shower. I don't know what it is with Priscilla Pressley and bathrooms. First Elvis dies in the bath. Then Bob daydreams for a year in the shower. I wouldn't go near her with a barge poll.
As for you Hot Lizzy you are a saucy little minx. Your playing hard to get with little old JR :D :D :D I like a challenge.
Now Eddie your time is getting short. Your about to go to the abatoir. Come quietly. I promise you will go to one of the finest abatoirs there is. I never lie :D :D :D
DollyDarling
28-12-08, 20:03
Darling, Did you lose any feathers? Did anyone chase you and run you out of breath... you poor sod. My little chicky... You handsome cock.... "Cluck, Cluck, Fuck, Cluck" Hope you are still Cluck-Fucking away sweet cock. Dolly loves handsome cocks. I have a wee Cock-hut in the back garden, all those handsome cocks inside, I love stroking them and telling them what good pets they are.
My pussy chased them around the garden the other day! I couldnt believe it Eddie! My pussy is just out-of-hand a little rebel, hard to control, might have to put on a leash... Those cocks can get aggresive when a pussy gets near.
Well, noone got hurt anyway. I suppose it was all just a bit of cockidy-puss-puss Christmas fun :)
You ok?
punterexpert
28-12-08, 20:42
Dolly you are one sexy chick. That has really put me in the mood. You can stroke my cock anytime. When are you in Ireland next?
Oven Ready Eddie
29-12-08, 01:56
Fear not Dolly for I am no ordinary cock. I am in fact a……
SUPERCOCK!!!
I even have an outfit and at the first sign of a pussy (stuck up a tree) I’m straight into the nearest box (phonebox) and I change into this,
thehighwayman
30-12-08, 17:30
Good to see you survived Christmas Eddie :D
Oven Ready Eddie
30-12-08, 19:24
Good to see you survived Christmas Eddie :D
It was a close run thing High man (get it? High…man…oh never mind) but in the end I found digs at Anna’s place and I have to say it’s a marked improvement to my old chicken coup.
It was that our Fiona’s place but I think she had other plans for me to be honest. I checked out her accommodation and she had an awful lot of paxo in the cupboard so I backed out very slowly and ran for the luas as fast as my bony legs would carry me.
All in all a good Xmas as its always a bonus when I avoid having an apple rammed up my ass and flung into the cooker. My expectations of Christmas are a little lower then most :o
How was Xmas for you?….any strange visitors entering via the vertical carbon monoxide egress system? (chimney) or anyone setting up shop in Black Bess’s stable without telling you. Lotta crazys out there Highway and not all bearing gifts…
Happy new year to you, the nag oh and the horse as well (sorry Mr’s Highwaywoman) :D