View Full Version : No Better Than Sex Work by Cathryn Berarovich
Curvaceous Kate
21-02-13, 20:17
Great article and great to read of someone who feels the same as me! Positive vibes!!!
http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/
Great article and great to read of someone who feels the same as me! Positive vibes!!!
http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/
Great article Kate. It gives a clear and coherent perspective on the reasons and personal decision to become a sex worker, and it's a great and brave step for the author of the piece to be so open with her family and co-workers so say that she has been and still is a sex worker. It's people like this that will help finally break the unfortunate and always misplaced stigma attached to those who do this work, and it's about time! Now, we only need for the CLIENTS to NOT be seen as total PERVERTS, and then we'll REALLY be getting somewhere! :p :D
Curvaceous Kate
21-02-13, 21:02
Great article Kate. It gives a clear and coherent perspective on the reasons and personal decision to become a sex worker, and it's a great and brave step for the author of the piece to be so open with her family and co-workers so say that she has been and still is a sex worker. It's people like this that will help finally break the unfortunate and always misplaced stigma attached to those who do this work, and it's about time! Now, we only need for the CLIENTS to NOT be seen as total PERVERTS, and then we'll REALLY be getting somewhere! :p :D
You've got to respect her for it. I'm not that brave yet and not sure that I ever will, but I share her sentiments on the job for sure.
Great article and great to read of someone who feels the same as me! Positive vibes!!!
http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/
Excellent, Open, No B.S. Well written, Blows the Myth sex work is only done by misguided people, coerced into it by others, economic circumstances,etc. She sure is one astute lady..unashamedly using what she's good at to make a living..Nice find Kate;)
Thanks Kate.:) Short and sweet and from the heart. Honest at it's best. It's a fairly short article, so here it is (for those who are too lazy to follow links:rolleyes:):
Cathryn Berarovich is something of a renaissance sex worker; she was until recently (http://www.thegloss.com/2013/01/29/sex-and-dating/harlotry-on-quitting-stripping/) employed as a stripper but has held numerous interesting jobs in the industry (and she’s currently an excellent columnist on this very website). Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.
Ever since I decided to be a sex worker, people have been telling me that I’m ‘too good’ for this profession. It started when I came out to a friend, it intensified when my mother figured out I was a sex worker, and it continued when I chose to briefly retire from the industry. When I returned, first to stripping and then to light fetish work, the protests, mostly from my family and commenters on my last few columns, only got louder.
I am somewhat anomalous in that I’ve been almost entirely open with my family about what it is that I do. While my parents are, for the most part, extremely supportive, they do not offer their support with total approval. My father calls my work ‘unskillful’ and my mother says it’s degrading.
The main arguments people make against my various forays into harlotry is that I am ‘too smart for that,’ ‘a remarkable young woman,’ and ‘better than things like that.’ This is all delivered in a disdainful tone, as if I were little more than a garbage picker or sewage worker (all due respect to garbage pickers and sewage workers, I could never do their jobs and admire them for it) the implication of all of such arguments is that sex work is degrading and degrading work is for people who are somehow less awesome than I. It’s flattering, and I understand that when people encourage me to quit the industry it comes from a good place, but it’s completely untrue that I’m somehow better than my chosen work.
I am not better than sex work, not even a little bit.
Read more: http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/#ixzz2LfqQrmFX (http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/#ixzz2LfqQrmFX)
Thanks for the link Kate...
Might be off topic a bit but where in history did sex and sex work become such a big deal/stigma. Anyone out there know their history?
very shy guy
23-02-13, 02:58
Great piece Kate,for me it boils down to this in all walks of life,the day you start to look down your nose at someone else and feel that you are better than them is the day you need to take a long hard look at yourself,and a kick up the backside would not go amiss either.
Curvaceous Kate
23-02-13, 08:52
Thanks for the link Kate...
Might be off topic a bit but where in history did sex and sex work become such a big deal/stigma. Anyone out there know their history?
I would imagine that would have been the day that religion started, after all, isn't it the original rule book?
the traveller
23-02-13, 10:46
I've a friend who's reading the bible for fun. He like's the classics. Anyway, whilst sex workers are mentioned many times there's nothing anywhere that says that sex work is evil, mind you he's only as far as psalms, so maybe kicks in later.
Curvaceous Kate
23-02-13, 11:21
I've a friend who's reading the bible for fun. He like's the classics. Anyway, whilst sex workers are mentioned many times there's nothing anywhere that says that sex work is evil, mind you he's only as far as psalms, so maybe kicks in later.
It's all open to interpretation. I was talking about this yesterday with someone due the the Magdalene Laundries and some believe that Mary Magdalene was never a prostitute at all and that Jesus married her and she is in the picture of the last supper, but then others believe that she was. Either way, she had the respect of Jesus and he didn't treat her in the same way he treated the traders in God's house trading on the Sabbath.
People have changed things to suit their needs as they go along. It's all about control.
I've a friend who's reading the bible for fun. He like's the classics. Anyway, whilst sex workers are mentioned many times there's nothing anywhere that says that sex work is evil, mind you he's only as far as psalms, so maybe kicks in later.
I wanted to copy /paste some sections from this Wiki article, but it's too interesting in its entirety :) >> Sacred Prostitution etc x
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_prostitution
I would imagine that would have been the day that religion started, after all, isn't it the original rule book?
The sexuality of the Romans has never had good press in the West ever since the rise of Christianity. In the popular imagination and culture, it is synonymous with sexual license and abuse.[2]
Above is a quote from Wikipedia, so this backs up what you are saying.
I wanted to copy /paste some sections from this Wiki article, but it's too interesting in its entirety :) >> Sacred Prostitution etc x
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_prostitution
"Sacred prostitution" and "Goddess Temples" was the language used before Christianity, did you notice. Isn't that better than today?
If people are wondering why there is such a stigma attached to sex and prostitution in catholic societies, then they should look into catholic theology.
They define "prostitution, extramarital sex or even masturbation as so called mortal sins as in grave matter sins.
According to the christian theology, a so called mortal sin does not usually mean a sin that cannot be repented; even after a mortal sin there is a chance for repentance.
Guess what some of the repentance is supposed to be? Confession! the priests would know a lot about the locals sex lives in hardline catholic societies.
Thats why Ruhama seems to be anti-prostitution because its run by christian organisations grounded in christian theology. They have nuns on their board of directors, its obviously influenced by christianity. Prostitution, extramarital sex and even masturbation are considered so called "mortal sins" in catholic theology.
An escort is a sinner in christian theology, they call her a "prostitute". No wonder they seem to indulge in silencing the so called sinners.
Christian theology even views fornication as a so called mortal sin.
Thanks for that Brock.
For me anyway, I have taken yet another step away from Christianity today.
I wanted to copy /paste some sections from this Wiki article, but it's too interesting in its entirety :) >> Sacred Prostitution etc x
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_prostitution
Well! Stephanie, Interesting to see that women who make a living engaging in sex work have nearly always been either put on a pedestel or treated unjustly right throughout recorded history. Women who live by sex work are seen as a threat by Religions who want to deny freedom of choice when it comes to sexual activity..:p
The unhealthy attitude to sex is, as a result of the Reformation. The fundamentalist Proddies are ten times than worse than the Catholics. The Presbyterians in Scotland banned dancing because it might lead to sex. Cromwell banned Christmas and mince pies in England. Back in the middle ages, when England was Catholic they had orgies on Catholic feast days (which were celebrated on pagan festivals). A nunnery was another word for a brothel. Read the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer, and you see the liberal attitude Papists had towards sex. As long as you could confess your sins you were alright. The Puritans and Calvinist had to come along and spoil all the fun.
The type of Catholicism you have in Ireland is based on a Catholic heresy called Jansenism, which is just another form of Puritanism. They have more liberal Jesuitical form of Catholicism in Italy, that's why the Popes in the Rennaisance era like Borgias and Medicis had great sex lives and dozens of children. Jesuitism means you can do something as long as it has a good result. It's all Martin Luther and John Calvin's fault. Blame the Prods.
The unhealthy attitude to sex is, as a result of the Reformation. The fundamentalist Proddies are ten times than worse than the Catholics. The Presbyterians in Scotland banned dancing because it might lead to sex. Cromwell banned Christmas and mince pies in England. Back in the middle ages, when England was Catholic they had orgies on Catholic feast days (which were celebrated on pagan festivals). A nunnery was another word for a brothel. Read the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer, and you see the liberal attitude Papists had towards sex. As long as you could confess your sins you were alright. The Puritans and Calvinist had to come along and spoil all the fun.
The type of Catholicism you have in Ireland is based on a Catholic heresy called Jansenism, which is just another form of Puritanism. They have more liberal Jesuitical form of Catholicism in Italy, that's why the Popes in the Rennaisance era like Borgias and Medicis had great sex lives and dozens of children. Jesuitism means you can do something as long as it has a good result. It's all Martin Luther and John Calvin's fault. Blame the Prods.
Gees! So I can blame this Guy Jenson for my shagging drought..at last i can ...Oh No sur he's long dead, so i can't take him to the European Court for his philosophy's destruction of my sex life... Bet you he was into little boys as well as screwing wth the rest of us poor sods...Grrr:mad:
In the gospels Jesus was confronted with a crowd attempting to punish a woman 'caught in the very act of adultery'. They asked his opinion on this. His answer... 'Let he is without sin cast the first stone'. In other words who are we to condemn .
Curvaceous Kate
23-02-13, 21:05
In the gospels Jesus was confronted with a crowd attempting to punish a woman 'caught in the very act of adultery'. They asked his opinion on this. His answer... 'Let he is without sin cast the first stone'. In other words who are we to condemn .
We get a fair bit of stone throwing round here.
We get a fair bit of stone throwing round here.
Which type of stones?:)
Sorry for going :offtopic: on your thread, just thought is was as good a place as any to ask the history question.
There was no mention of what happened to the dude that was with the woman in the gospel,
Curvaceous Kate
23-02-13, 22:14
There was no mention of what happened to the dude that was with the woman in the gospel,
That is true, it always used to be the woman that was the temptress and the man got away scot free, so you could call that progress with this situation.
That is true
No it isn't. The Bible makes it clear the religious leaders who brought the woman to Jesus deliberately allowed the man to escape as bringing him also to Jesus did not suit their bigoted agenda and anti female world view. They were chiefly interested in catching Jesus out on a moral and philosophical question, to which he gave an exceedingly wise and instructive answer. The tale ends by noting that the eldest left first, presumably in recognition that they had more sins accumulated.
Curvaceous Kate
24-02-13, 00:59
No it isn't. The Bible makes it clear the religious leaders who brought the woman to Jesus deliberately allowed the man to escape as bringing him also to Jesus did not suit their bigoted agenda and anti female world view. They were chiefly interested in catching Jesus out on a moral and philosophical question, to which he gave an exceedingly wise and instructive answer. The tale ends by noting that the eldest left first, presumably in recognition that they had more sins accumulated.
Sorry I meant generally, not in the bible. I've not read the bible, I'm not Catholic, although I did attend Church for a few years and went to a Christian School so remember snippets, but would never claim to be an authority. An example would be in the work place. If there is ever any problem, it tends to be the women who is moved on and not the man, or the man is just 'Jack the lad' and the woman is treated like a whore.
That is what I meant, they generally didn't have the same consequences for the same actions.
Thanks Kate.:) Short and sweet and from the heart. Honest at it's best. It's a fairly short article, so here it is (for those who are too lazy to follow links:rolleyes:):
Cathryn Berarovich is something of a renaissance sex worker; she was until recently (http://www.thegloss.com/2013/01/29/sex-and-dating/harlotry-on-quitting-stripping/) employed as a stripper but has held numerous interesting jobs in the industry (and she’s currently an excellent columnist on this very website). Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.
Ever since I decided to be a sex worker, people have been telling me that I’m ‘too good’ for this profession. It started when I came out to a friend, it intensified when my mother figured out I was a sex worker, and it continued when I chose to briefly retire from the industry. When I returned, first to stripping and then to light fetish work, the protests, mostly from my family and commenters on my last few columns, only got louder.
I am somewhat anomalous in that I’ve been almost entirely open with my family about what it is that I do. While my parents are, for the most part, extremely supportive, they do not offer their support with total approval. My father calls my work ‘unskillful’ and my mother says it’s degrading.
The main arguments people make against my various forays into harlotry is that I am ‘too smart for that,’ ‘a remarkable young woman,’ and ‘better than things like that.’ This is all delivered in a disdainful tone, as if I were little more than a garbage picker or sewage worker (all due respect to garbage pickers and sewage workers, I could never do their jobs and admire them for it) the implication of all of such arguments is that sex work is degrading and degrading work is for people who are somehow less awesome than I. It’s flattering, and I understand that when people encourage me to quit the industry it comes from a good place, but it’s completely untrue that I’m somehow better than my chosen work.
I am not better than sex work, not even a little bit.
Read more: http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/#ixzz2LfqQrmFX (http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/12/sex-and-dating/better-than-sex-work/#ixzz2LfqQrmFX)
Good article Kate. Its a bit longer than you have quoted Morpheus, another couple of pages after this on the link.
Curvaceous Kate
24-02-13, 09:22
Good article Kate. Its a bit longer than you have quoted Morpheus, another couple of pages after this on the link.
There are 3 pages in total. Sorry I didn't read through what Morpheus put up, as I had already read it.
It is a great article. I think a lot of us ladies get the words, 'you are too good for this' said to us, even by clients. It's good to see someone who articulates that it is a job of worth and is enjoyable for the right minded person.
EnglishAlex
24-02-13, 10:17
It is a great article. I think a lot of us ladies get the words, 'you are too good for this' said to us, even by clients. It's good to see someone who articulates that it is a job of worth and is enjoyable for the right minded person.
Excellent article Kate, Cathryn is an excellent writer and her upfront attitude is brilliant. Confident and sure of herself without being arrogant :)
The social stigma attached to our Profession is shocking, but I've found that when directly challenged, many people don't really have a factually based opinion. They fear and condemn that which they fail to understand. This article will blow many misconceptions out of the water but some will read and be thinking 'That Poor Delusional Girl'. They don't have the capacity to accept that we are who we choose to be, who we want to be. Not every sex worker but not every other worker either. Just a lucky few that are actually doing what they want to do.
Sorry I meant generally, not in the bible. I've not read the bible, I'm not Catholic, although I did attend Church for a few years and went to a Christian School so remember snippets, but would never claim to be an authority. An example would be in the work place. If there is ever any problem, it tends to be the women who is moved on and not the man, or the man is just 'Jack the lad' and the woman is treated like a whore.
That is what I meant, they generally didn't have the same consequences for the same actions.
Catholics in general are not big bible readers. Thats more of a protestant thing. Some really good stuff in the gospels
Thanks for the link Kate...
Might be off topic a bit but where in history did sex and sex work become such a big deal/stigma. Anyone out there know their history?
Well here is Dragos Roua's take on it
The Sex Taboo
I have to confess I thought a lot about this post. Meaning I already had it sketched in my head (and then in my blogging setup), but I pondered if I should publish it or not. I finally took the bullet and decided to publish it.
The biggest concern was not about the main topic in this post, but about the thing which is shaping the modern western society for a good 2 millenniums: the sex taboo. Without doubt, the modern conception about sex is one of the most powerful weapons used to discipline and manipulate our modern society. I think the way we perceive sex has made more victims than the world wars and is still doing.
Our culture pushed sex in the forbidden realm. It took it from the playful and ecstatic pedestal ancient cultures had it, and exiled it outside the rules of morality. Once just a private matter (and close to spirituality), now sex has become a dirty matter. Confined by the socially accepted norms of morality, sex has been convicted inside the walls of the institution of marriage.
This constant interdiction made sex a fantasy, created industries (like porn industry) and damaged generations from the inside. I’m not going to talk about sex here, or about what created this social distortion, because it will take too long, and it’s out of the scope of this blog post. In which, I remind you, I’m talking about something completely different, and that’s prostitution.
The reason I mentioned sex is because the modern definition of prostitution have been built on the sex taboo. Prostitution has been disguised behind sex. There is this obsession for everything sex related which made prostitution one of the most incriminated activities on earth. Not because you’re actually faking something in the process of prostitution, but because it’s related to sex. If sex wasn’t so important, selling it for money wouldn’t be such a big issue. People are selling things for money all the time.
And this is the core of the problem, this is what made me think if it would be acceptable or not to publish this article: prostitution is not so much about sex, as it is about faking.
More precisely: faking it for money.
If you take out the sex taboo form prostitution, what’s left? Money and a service. Well, people are doing this every day, it’s called business. Except in prostitution the service is a fake. There is no drive to offer real sex, the actors usually don’t even know each others, there’s only a transaction of fantasies for money. Nobody gives something real and nobody gets something genuine. The whole thing is a prank. A simple fake for money.
Seeing prostitution as an act of faking for money, and not specifically related to sex, makes a big difference. Because it changes the meaning of this activity completely. It makes it spread into areas you wouldn’t think it can reach: in your daily relationships, in your job, in your thinking patterns.
When was the last time you faked something for money? When was the last time you wanted to tell your boss he’s wrong, but you didn’t because of the money you get from him? How many times you said “yes” to your friend, just because he pays the rent? How many times you’ve been doing things you don’t want, even faking some joy in doing them, just because you were paid?