Ha ha, very hard to know ketchup. My thinking is that there is an agreement in place to part ways and that he would have been allowed to announce it...
Get your garden hose and stick it where the sun doesn't shine and then turn on the tap at full power. When the water starts coming down your nostrils...
Punting isn't for you I'm afraid. You are too nervous and paranoid. Take a spin to a big city, research a few massage shops that pretend to be legit...