I recently discovered a new T.V show; Ladyboys on Sky. As you can probably guess, it is a documentary that follows the lives of ladyboys in Thailand. This week focused on the men who are attracted to ladyboys and the qualities that they are drawn to. It followed the lives of Scott (pictured right with partner Paeng) – a middle-aged divorcee from Middlesborough – and a former university lecturer, David; both were in relationships with ladyboys. Both insist they are straight and have no attraction to men. So what is the root cause of their attraction? And is it becoming more common?
The first real question has to be; how many men have these attractions? The reality is, it is impossible to know. Taboo has made it difficult for many to admit and talk openly about their attraction. However let’s look at the stats; A “Billion Wicked Thought” states that T-girl porn (as it is commonly known) is the fourth most popular type of adult website. Authors Sai Gaddam and Ogi Ogas continue by explaining that the majority of traffic to these websites is generated by heterosexual men. I decided to search online for forums and web-discussions, and found an army of straight men who were discussing their attraction to transsexuals. These men came from all walks of life – and yet they all had one thing in common? Their search to understand the reason behind their attraction. There are plenty of theories about where and how an interest in transsexuals develops, but none have been scientifically proven.
The Thoughts of a Ladyboy
Gillian, a Thai ladyboy, recently wrote an article on Stickmanbangkok where she claims her years of experience have led her to identifying the types of men who find her attractive. She believes there are three types of men who want to spend the night with her. The first type is bisexuals – Gillian believes that the bisexual males she has been with have had a physical attraction to her feminine curves (even if they are implants), but want the sexual stimulation that is given through anal intercourse. Furthermore, Gillian suggests that many may have a sexual fantasy involving transsexuals and that they travel to Thailand to act out such fantasies, away from judgment and prying eyes.
The second type, are transvestites. We still consider them to be rare in the U.K, but Gillian claims that a high percentage of her one night stands have been with transvestites. It is believed that for many cross-dressers, the clothes bring about a certain arousal. They are able to receive sexual satisfaction from being involved sexually with someone who has become a woman and wears these clothes. The final type, according to Gillian, is submissive men. She believes that they seek out other subservient men, such as ladyboys, who will remain open to their sexual desires and fantasies. As part of her job, she is open to experimentation and re-enacting fantasies – a quality she believes makes her popular with men.
Thoughts of a Cross-Dresser
There are others, who do not agree with Gillian’s belief that only certain types are attracted to transsexuals. Daniel Harris, a gay journalist who published his memoir “Diary of a Drag Queen” chronicling his experiences of cross dressing, argues that all types of men have the attraction. However, he believes that the easiest type to understand is the heterosexuals. His years of cross-dressing have led him to believe that all men are horny and are continually on the lookout for sexual encounters. It is unlikely then, that a man would turn down the opportunity for a blow job, regardless of who is offering it! He continues by explaining that it is commonly known that men understand their own needs and therefore are better at performing blow jobs than women (sorry ladies!!) – So can we be surprised that men fantasise about transsexuals?
Thoughts of a Transsexual
For years, Miss Suzi (below), a transsexual and former owner of “Miss Suzi’s Studio and Boutique” asked the same question. After years of research and discussion with friends, she finally thinks she has cracked it. Her conclusion? Transsexuals love being a woman and do not take their femininity for granted. They, such as Miss Suzi, have sacrificed friends, maybe even family and careers to embrace who they are. The hours it takes to perfect her appearance only enhances her confidence and she believes this is what makes her attractive to men. She admits that she is often approached by gay and bisexual men, but the majority are heterosexual males who find her femininity sexy.
So maybe we shouldn’t be asking why men are attracted to transsexuals but instead; why do we even care? Sexuality is not so black and white. An attraction to a transsexual is just as “normal” as our love for whips, chains and role-plays (dressing as a school girl!?!). Whatever the cause, my research has led me to the conclusion that it is certainly common. The variety of T-girl sites available and the amount of hits these sites get cannot merely be explained by people’s passing curiosity. The world of porn can teach us all a thing or too – mainly that what is regarded as ‘normal’ is rarely what we think it is!
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