Everyone has different interests, especially when it comes to sex. While some might like to keep things strictly vanilla, others might be tempted to expand their horizons and try something really kinky.
For some, that means exploring the world of humiliation. Not sure what I mean? I take a look to see what it means to have a humiliation kink and just what that kink entails.
What is the humiliation kink?
Earlier this year I discussed the differences between kinks and fetishes. I’ll admit that, before then, I never really gave much thought to the fact that the two terms weren’t interchangeable. However, along the way I found myself learning a little more about humiliation in the world of BDSM.
The humiliation kink is when someone takes pleasure from either being humiliated or making someone else feel humiliated. Depending on the circumstances, it can be with or without sexual pleasure involved.
On the surface, it can seem like a bizarre and unusual kink. It can also seem simple. But it isn’t. There is more to the humiliation kink than meets the eye, and there are so many different ways that you can explore it.
The different types of humiliation
It isn’t simply a case of telling your partner that they are bad in bed and leaving it at that. It goes much deeper, and like any other act, you’ll need to talk about it with your partner first to lay down some ground rules and establish just what type of humiliation kink they have.
For many, they are eager to explore erotic humiliation. Erotic humiliation is when you are psychologically humiliated to provide sexual arousal or erotic excitement. This works for either the person doing the humiliation or for the person being humiliated. It can be verbal, physical, or both. It can be in public or even in private. Public humiliation is growing at the moment, as you’ll likely know from the stories about people being caught in public.
On the other side, we have degradation. Degradation is particularly popular in the world of financial domination. It is when someone is typically treated poorly or without respect for a thrill. Like erotic humiliation, it can be done publicly or in private, though many examples you’ll find are public.
What’s it like having a humiliation kink?
I’m incredibly lucky. My job means that I have well and truly had my horizons expanded. However, I’ll admit that I was a little sceptical about the humiliation kink when I first read about it. I am the type of person who would happily crawl into a hole for the rest of my life when I am embarrassed, so the idea that some people take pleasure in it was confusing to me.
Thankfully I mentioned this to a close friend of mine and discovered that he actually has this kink. Jacob said that it is a kink he has known he’s had for the last ten years and that he has thoroughly enjoyed exploring it. To him, it is as hot as flirting but in a totally different way.
When I asked what it was like to have the humiliation kink, he told me that it gave him a rush. He felt that it took the pressure off of his partner if they said or did something to embarrass him, and that it was okay to fail. He could mess up and he’d know that there would be consequences to it, but in a safe environment.
Exploring humiliation
Researching the topic has certainly been interesting for me. However, I’m not entirely sure that it is for me. In the right circumstances I might explore it, but knowing where to start can be tough. You might currently be experiencing the same problems with it. Thankfully, there are plenty of resources online to help you.
Master Marc wrote a wonderful piece on Deviance and Desire, discussing 90 creative ideas for humiliation and degradation. He covers the subject in great detail and highlights how important consent is. If you are interested in trying it, this might be a good place to start.
Have you tried exploring the humiliation kink before? If so, please tell me more about your experiences! You can share your thoughts in the comment below or by joining the discussion on the forum. Does being humiliated turn you on, or is it strictly a turn off?
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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