We all know that BDSM play can be an amazing part of a client’s experience. It’s great for both parties, and it can make you feel like you’re in a completely different place. But if you don’t know how to include this type of service in your list, it might get left out or seem impossible to add!
The world of BDSM can be quite complex and intimidating to a provider who is new to it. For this reason we’re going to share with you some tips on how to incorporate these practices into your roster of services.
What is BDSM?
BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline and SadoMasochism. It refers to a wide range of practices involving dominance and submission, roleplaying, restraint, sensory deprivation and other interpersonal dynamics.
BDSM activities can be divided into four types: physical, verbal, mental and sexual. Physical BDSM involves all the aspects of BDSM that are commonly depicted in erotic films or read about in books:
- whips, ropes, chains and other forms of bondage;
- spanking and paddling;
- giving or receiving pain (what is colloquially referred to as “torture”);
- sensation play such as erotic electrostimulation;
- a variety of forms of sex play such as bloodplay, urethral play (also known as “sounding”);
- anal sex or double penetration (simultaneous vaginal/anal penetration).
Verbal BDSM involves aspects of humiliation and objectification on the part of one partner (“dominant”), as well as obedience on the part of another (“submissive”). This may include aspects such as erotic humiliation or servitude. Mental BDSM is usually based around power exchange between two partners. It does not necessarily involve physical pain but can lead to it if that is what both partners desire.
BDSM scenes require lots of planning and discussion
The first thing to consider when you are planning a BDSM scene is why your client wants to do it. The play can be very personal and intimate, so it’s important that both parties have open communication about their needs and boundaries. If there is anything that makes you uncomfortable in the session, speak up! If something happens that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable at any point, stop the scene immediately!
The second thing to consider is what kind of toys you will use during this type of play. Toys can help create heightened sensations as well as ramp up arousal levels.
Many BDSM activities involve a certain amount of risk
The client should be aware of these risks, and respect your boundaries. You should also be prepared for what they might encounter, as well as the possibility that you may cause them bruising or injury.
- If a client asks for something that makes you uncomfortable, it is okay to say no! This does not mean that you don’t like them as a person or don’t enjoy their company; it just means that certain things are off-limits for playtime with them because of your own physical limitations or personal preferences.
- Some people enjoy sensation play where they are lightly bruised by spanking or whipping; others do not like any marks left on their bodies after sex so would prefer not to use implements such as crops or whips. These decisions should be made before engaging in sexual activity so everyone involved knows what kind of experience we’re getting ourselves into! It’s important both parties feel comfortable throughout all aspects: foreplay too!
Make sure you have “safe words”
The terms “safe words” and “safe signal” are used in BDSM to indicate that a person wants to stop an activity or scene. Safe words are used by the submissive partner, who is in a position of less power than their dominant partner.
A safe word is not something you should feel bad about using if you need it! It is not disobedient or disrespectful for the submissive to use their safe word. It simply means that they wish to cease all actions related to whatever activity has been taking place at any given time. If a safe word was meant as a signal for something else (for example, your favorite color), it would not be considered as such by anyone involved with BDSM play.
Make sure to set the boundaries between fantasy and reality
Clients may tell you that they want to be tied up and beaten… But when it comes down to actually doing it, they freeze up or become very uncomfortable. You should explain that BDSM isn’t just about pain or humiliation. It’s also about trust and connection between you and your them. Tell them that if they want to explore this kink with you, you can teach them how to communicate their desires properly so that both of you are happy in the end. If they’re having trouble speaking up for themselves because of fear (such as fear of rejection), talk about ways for them to work through this fear and come out stronger on the other side!
The client should respect your boundaries as well
As a provider, you must be prepared to say “no”. Clients will ask you to do things that may seem uncomfortable or even harmful to your body. You have every right to say no if something doesn’t feel right for you. The client should understand this and respect your boundaries.
The client should also always be in control of the situation. This includes being aware of their limits and respecting them. If a client is pushing their limits past what they are comfortable with or trying to take advantage of situations, it’s up to the provider not only as an individual but also as someone providing services within a working environment who needs to enforce those limits on behalf of clients. We all want our clients happy because we know how good sex feels when both parties enjoy themselves equally!
BDSM play is a form of intimacy and not just sex
BDSM can be just as much about exploring power dynamics, trust and different kinds of pleasure as it is about sex. Many people tend to think of BDSM as simply the act of having sex in an unusual way. There’s more to it than that. It involves actually getting involved with another person on a deeper level than just physical pleasure. You’re exploring your sexuality together!
This is why many people who engage in BDSM have trouble explaining what exactly they do for their partners or clients. It’s because it isn’t necessarily always “sex” as we understand it in our culture. It’s often not even strictly defined by one thing. For some people, being tied up may be part of their routine; for others, whipping someone else’s backside might come off as too intense for them.
Guide your clients on how to talk about their feelings around that experience
BDSM play is a very intimate experience, and many clients may not know how to act after the session. Some may not know how to talk about their feelings around what happened, or even what those feelings are.
Some providers may assume that because their sessions are conducted in private, there’s no need for communication with clients about what happens once they leave. But a provider should be available for follow up questions or concerns from their client after the session has ended, especially if it’s their first time doing BDSM.
Conclusion
We hope this guide has helped you to better understand how to incorporate BDSM into your service list (here). BDSM is a great way to add some excitement and playfulness into your service list. It can be a fun way for people to connect with their intimate partners. It’s also an exciting experience for providers to share with their clients! As long as everyone involved is on board with what’s happening in the session(s), there really is no limit on how much fun they can have together!
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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