Want A Bigger Dick? Don’t Use Vaseline!

There is an obsession with the penis size. People are either talking about the perfect penis size or bragging about what they have stuffed in their pants.
Petroleum jelly in tub

For some, they long for a bigger penis. If you’ve been on any porn site, you’ll have probably found an advert at the side telling you how much bigger you could get by using their “tried and tested” home treatment to make your cock bigger.

Of course, most people aren’t stupid enough to try them. They simply learn to get on with it and try new positions to make their dick feel bigger. Well, all except for one Hungarian man who tried to use Vaseline to enlarge his cock. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work in the way he wants it to.

Szilveszter

Szilveszter is a 24 year old man who was born in Hungary but now lives in Britain. He is happily married and also a father, so you think he has it made, right?

Well, it seems he wasn’t quite content with the size of his dick. He wanted more, probably so that he could brag to his friends about how big and meaty his knob was and make them all jealous.

“I said to my friend I want to lose weight as I think my penis is small,” Szilveszter told a friend. The friend wanted to help, telling him that he didn’t have to lose weight to make his penis bigger.

You might think that Szilveszter decided to use one of those cock pumps that looks more like a torture device, or maybe try a new medical procedure we haven’t heard of yet… but instead he let a friend inject Vaseline into his dick.

Vaseline

Petroleum Jelly is a pretty versatile substance. You can use it for almost anything, as journalist Paul Sacca points out. “The miracle product soothes dry skin… remedies chapped lips… removes stains from clothes and wood furniture… great lubricant for butt sex”. However, that is where the uses end.

At no point have the owners of Vaseline bragged that their product is great to inject into your penis. In fact, we’re pretty sure that somewhere on the packaging it will say “not for internal use”.

However, Szilveszter had a problem to solve. He needed to make his dick bigger so he could impress his wife. Instead of just losing weight to make it appear bigger, he took his friend’s advice. “My friend injected in my penis Vaseline. Afterwards I was happy as it looked bigger.”

Would you really let one of your friends near you with a needle full of Vaseline and the intention of sticking it in your cock?

Side effects

Of course, there were some pretty big side effects from it. Yes, his penis got bigger, but then the problems began to occur.

“I had to stop having sex with my wife as it’s too painful,” Szilveszter confessed in an interview, saying that “every day is difficult for me as it’s very painful and bleeding. This was the worst mistake in my life as I don’t feel like a real man.”

Well, we could have told him that injecting Vaseline into your cock was a bad idea. At least he has learned his lesson that home procedures from friends might not work out the way you were hoping.

Seeking medical advice

Szilveszter went to seek medical advice, but his GP and other doctors said that there wasn’t anything they could do for the poor man. As a result, he found himself talking to Dr Vik Vijh, the resident plastic surgeon on the Extreme Beauty Disasters TV show. For the poor doctor, it was definitely unlike anything he had ever seen.

“It’s not a pretty slight, it’s inflamed, it’s sore, it’s misshapen, his penis is a disaster.” Don’t mince your words, Doc. Say it how it is!

It gets worse. The Doc then explained that Szilveszter’s “body has formed scar tissue around the Vaseline because it’s a foreign body, your body is trying to ward it off and it gives you these painful lumps, it will soon start to ulcer through the skin.”

“The other problem,” Dr. Vijh goes on to say, “is the foreskin is swelling and splitting – the foreskin is 15 times more swollen than should be.” Ouch!
couple in bed

Skinning the penis

It already sounds like it is the worst it could ever be, but the doctor then explains that there is really only one way to save Szilveszter’s penis… and that is to “skin” the penis to remove both the Vaseline and the scar tissue.

“I have never done this before,” Dr Vijh confesses, “but fingers crossed we can save his penis.”

If you’re currently clutching your cock in terror, you can breathe a sigh of relief. After several hours of surgery, Dr Vijh managed to remove all of the scar tissue and Vaseline, and Szilveszter is now back to full health. We call that a successful operation!

Obviously, Szilveszter was pleased: “I am much better. It has healed well, it’s painfree and working. I can have sex with my wife again. Many people said we can’t help you. Dr Vijh did a perfect job, he has changed my life.”

Lesson to be learned

There is a pretty important lesson to be learned here. Yes, you might not be as happy with your dick as you’d like to be, but trying some of these unusual home treatments could only make things worse. Szilveszter is lucky that Dr Vijh didn’t give up on him like the other doctors.

As Vijh himself said: “I have been doing plastic surgery now for 20 years and I have never seen anything like this. Injecting petroleum jelly into the penis makes no sense on any level.”

Basically, don’t do it. Don’t put Vaseline or anything else into your cock that isn’t meant to be. Do you really want to have to go through the painful sounding process of having your cock skinned because you were too stupid to seek proper advice?

What do you think of this story? Would you ever try something like this, or are you perfectly content with your cock the way it is? You can share your thoughts with us on the Escort Ireland forum, or you can leave a comment in the box below.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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