Adventurous sexual positions can cause a cock to crack, literally. A recent not-so-sexy Brazilian sex study discovered that cock snaps are most likely while shagging in the cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and doggy style positions. If only there were cautionary labels on body parts!
A pussy should warn: PROCEED WITH CAUTION! COLLISON HAZARD!
The cock should insist: FRAGILE! HANDLE WITH CARE!
Of the 44 men in three Brazilian hospitals, twenty eight incurred their broken boner during heterosexual sex while four had it occur during homosexual sex. Six reported that rough “penis manipulation” was the culprit. Sad but true a dude can break his ding dong wacking one off too!
Four patients had circumstances that were unclear or perhaps stories that were too embarrassing to share. What they all had in common besides their ‘fractured penises’ was hearing a loud ‘crack’ and then feeling a hell of a lot of pain. Most went to the hospital within the next 6 hours with their tails in between their legs.
The boner doesn’t really have a bone so dude, how can a boner break? When the cock ‘engorges’, its tissue is filling with blood kind of like how a carnival balloon is filled up with helium before a parade. The cock then becomes solid like a rock as if to say: Yo player! It’s time to work one out!
Long lasting side effects of disconnected dongs is erectile dysfunction and ‘penile curvature’ or simply put, a crooked cock!
The hazard zone arrives when the cock experiences some kind of force. For example, hitting the pussy’s perineum while thrusting or if she’s on top, she may move too much while grinding. This can rip the tissue that’s holding all that swollen pressure. At which point, a loud ‘CRACK’ is heard followed by a blood curdling scream that can ring church bells in counties far and wide. The result is utter agony; heinous bruising and it also can screw with your body’s pee drain, the urethra.
According to the not-so-sexy sex study published in Advances in Urology by researchers in Brazil, the woman-on-top sexual position is guilty for half of all boner snaps. When she’s on top, she’s controlling the cock with her entire body weight. The safest sexual position with the least damage control is the old fashion tried-and-true man-on-top or ‘missionary position.’ When the dude can control the movement, he has a better chance of stopping if he feels pain.
When it comes to the three most hazardous sexual positions for men, The Pogo Stick which is basically ‘missionary’ standing up, girl-on-top and reverse girl-on-top deserve road traffic signs.
GENERAL WARNING! SLIPPERY WHEN WET! HAZARDOUS CONDITIONS EXIST!
Make sure you’re fully erect before shagging to reduce the risk of damaging your kinky joystick. If you’re not, your cock is more likely to torque and twist. Fractured penises are an uncommon condition that occur during uncommon sexual positions. Stick to missionary or else, shag at your own risk!
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