The Condom Has a New Super-Cool Rival!

For some time, dudes haven’t had as many birth control options as dames. While ladies have a handful of funky forms of birth control, dudes are essentially left with two options: wrapping their dong with a condom or an irreversible vasectomy. A man’s choice for birth control was rather limited until right now. We are essentially dawning upon a sexy new age as a reversible birth control injection for men is on the horizon!


Vasalgel is going to be available to all men in 2018, according to Elaine Lissner, executive director of the Parsemus Foundation, the organization that developed this breakthrough contraceptive for dudes. Um, seriously sexy health news flash! The Parsemus Foundation created a non-hormonal, long acting, reversible male contraceptive in one injection! Break open a bottle of champagne and give it up for sexy science!

You know that old adage, ‘fucking like rabbits?’ Well scientists went straight to the horniest source and tested the gel on 12 horny male rabbits. After the injection, 11 of those rabbits had 100% sperm free semen. They produced azoospermia which may sound like a tripped out nightclub but it’s really just semen without sperm. Those bunnies were shooting blanks. Bang. Bang. Bang. Nothing!

Vasalgel results are promising!

Then those scientists flushed the gel out from those oversexed rabbits and, “semen samples showed a rapid return of sperm flow.” A magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat and that’s magic? I think not! That’s not nearly as magical as scientists blocking sperm inside of semen inside of a ballsack! Though this was a small study on rabbits, scientists are stoked and highly optimistic!

This magical gel is injected into the ball sack which science calls the ‘vas deferens.’ Inside the ball sack, it becomes a hydrogel blocking the sperm from leaving. Imagine a gel that had the properties of a stop sign or a cork. Vasalgel is a high molecular weight polymer that stands defensive guard in your ball sack like a buff bodyguard. When the sperm try to leave all like, ‘Byyyyyyeeeee! We’re going out now!” Buff bodyguard dude goes hardcore Gandalf on them insisting, ‘You shall not pass!” and real talk, they don’t!

Launching this year is the first clinical trail in real dicks and real men. The ultimate goal is for Vasalgel to be available to homies worldwide at a cost that’s low enough to be affordable. There are no long-acting, reversible contraceptives currently available to men today. Vasalgel is an unprecedented medical breakthrough of epic sexy proportions! The game needs it more than ever! With over 85 million unintended pregnancies occurring annually world-wide, the world needs this!

Farewell to the Condom?

The US based non-profit company Parsemus Foundation has run into problems with funding to complete the human trials. They plan to invite in more investors yet the executive director, Elaine Lissner says she’s mad confident they’ll raise enough funding to make everything happen. “There are so many men who want this so badly,” she said, “the support is going to be there.”

Correction: There are so many women who want this so badly! If there was a crowd funding site for this, I’d throw down in a heartbeat! Oh wait, there is a way to donate! Ask and ye shall receive, donate so dudes can one day shoot blanks! This is a cause for the people and by the people because let’s be real, this world already has too many people!

If any dude complains about having an injection in his nuts, be assured that it’s far more appealing than child support payments! Plus dames have been painfully inserting contraceptives into their cervixes, shoving rings up their coochies and swallowing hormones for far, far too long. Now sexy science is creating ONE SHOT that stops semen for over a year and it’s reversible?! Uh-huh, dudes, you’re welcome.

Coming Soon to a 2018 Reality Near You: Reversible Condom-less Male Birth Control!

“It seems pretty durable,” Lissner said, “we expect it may last for years.” Durable contraceptive without a Durex condom? You’ll still need a condom to protect you against STD’s so this will never replace the condom, yet thanks to this non-hormonal, long-lasting, reversible contraceptive injection for dudes: sex just got sexier! I’d like to take a moment to thank the Academy, the sexy scientists, all 12 of those horny bunnies and that ball-sack-body-guard-gandalf-gel for this fascinating sexy science breakthrough!

Gabriella Zene
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