Most of us own a smartphone. Some of you will even be reading this article on your phone. We’ve become reliant on having the entire internet in our pocket, and most of us aren’t capable of even going to the toilet without our faithful friend.
The problem is that we spend so much time on our phones that some believe they are ruining our sex lives. But are they really? Or are they actually the best sex toys we’ll ever own?
A sexual recession
If you believe the media, we are currently in a sexual recession. I wrote about this trend just last week, talking about how young people aren’t having as much sex as previous generations.
There are so many theories as to why. Some feel that they just don’t like sex, or they are too easily distracted from sex by the things going on around them. Others suggest that laziness might be part of it, since we are in a world where everything is available at the push of a button.
Others believe that we may simply not like bragging as much about it, or that we aren’t having the traditional kind of sex. Maybe more people are in sub/dom relationships where there is no actual sex? Maybe others are asexual? There are so many possibilities, but so many people are saying that we are in a sexual recession.
What smartphones have to do with it
To some people this is really surprising. After all, there are so many more ways to get in contact with people now then there used to be. Facebook means you can easily find old hook-ups to see if they are up to repeating the experience, and dating apps make it quick to connect with other like-minded people.
Smartphones give us the ability to find a date with just the swipe of a thumb. But even with sex such a convenient tap away, we aren’t having sex. Could smartphones be to blame? Well, it seems that some people think so. They feel that phones are tearing us apart.
We’re a very social-media-conscious generation. We like to present a certain identity to the world. We’ll spend ages trying to take the perfect image, eagerly awaiting likes and comments. Instead of spending any real quality time with our partner we’ll go online. We forget to be in a relationship because we are too busy presenting the perfect relationship to the world.
The best sex toys
Of course, this is just one point of view. The other is that, when used in the right way, our smartphones could become the best sex toys we have ever had. You don’t even have to do a lot with them! For example, you can use your phone to extend foreplay. Simply set a timer and say that you aren’t allowed to do more than kiss and touch one another until the timer runs out.
The chances are that you’ll have an app such as Snapchat right at your fingertips. Apps like these are perfect for those hot sexting sessions. Conversations aren’t saved (unless you choose to save them), which gives you extra security. Plus you can send some hot pictures to really get their blood pumping!
Looking for other apps to try? There are so many different ones out there, and some of them are ideal for expanding your horizons. A personal favourite of mine is the XConfessions app by erotic filmmaker Erika Lust. I downloaded it just to try, and found myself in love with it. It works like Tinder, where you swipe left if you aren’t interested and right if you are.
The difference is that, instead of swiping on people, you swipe erotic ideas. Each card has a suggestion for something kinky to try. If you and your partner both swipe right, you’ll see, and you can then talk about trying this hot act together!
I’ve found myself checking the app daily and even swiping right on things that I never expected I would! It has really expanded my horizons, and I genuinely believe that I have swiped right more on this app than I ever have on Tinder!
How do you use yours?
I will admit that I struggle to do anything without my phone. It is so handy for so many different things. When the lights have gone off in the house I just use the torch. When I have to do a big math question, I’ll use the calculator. Got tickets for an event? They are all on there.
I’m even starting to use smartphones more in the bedroom, and I can’t be the only one. How do you use your phone? Are you using it to enhance your sex life, or do you think of it as more of a bedroom bother?
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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