We are often very curious about people, and like to know different things about them. Maybe it is because we think we know them better, or maybe it is because we like to be involved. Either way, your “number” is often a hot top of conversation.
My question is – does the number of people you’ve had sex with really matter? Does it somehow changed whether you are someone they can trust, someone that they can relate to? Is it really that important if you have slept with three or three hundred people?
What does a high number mean?
A high number might suggest that you are sexually experienced, as you have been with plenty of people to learn new techniques and methods for getting someone off. You are also more spontaneous and more fun to be with.
While on the one hand that sounds great, it also suggests to people that you may have “loose morals” and so not be very trustworthy because you are free and open about who you have been sleeping with.
In truth? It probably just means that you have taken more opportunities to have sex with others, instead of ignoring them, turning them down, or searching for that one thing about them that means you don’t want that kind of relationship with them.
What does a low number mean?
Good news! A low number means that you are much more trustworthy, because you choose just who you get it on with more carefully. You plan ahead and have a clear idea of just what you want from life, and how you are going to get it.
The bad news? You’re thought of as boring, predictable, and not very willing to try new things. That new restaurant that opened up in town? You won’t go. You’ll probably be in your old favourite eating the same meal that you always do.
Really though, you might not feel you have gotten to that place in your relationships with others where you want to be intimate. You may be looking for something specific in the people you sleep with, or you may just not have had as many opportunities to get down and dirty with someone.
Does it even matter?
Short answer? Not really.
My two best friends have both got very different numbers. One is quite high at “40-something”, and that isn’t including the ones that she says don’t count as she regrets them. She isn’t ashamed of it, and if someone reacts badly to her number she simply shrugs it off. She’s having fun – should that really be anyone else’s business?
The other is proud of her small number, three, because she thinks they have been more enriching to her life. It does include a one-night stand but she says that you learn from every sexual encounter, no matter how brief.
For me, numbers don’t matter. The last guy I was dating had a higher number than I did, and it didn’t bother me. It is, after all, just a number. However, if you fixate on it, that is when it becomes a problem. Having a number higher or lower than someone else doesn’t make you a slut or a prude – it just makes you different. There is no ideal number of people to sleep with in your life that will somehow make you a better person. Do you think the numbers really matter? Leave a comment below or go to the Escort Ireland forum and let us know what you think there.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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