Everyone dreams of having those long sex sessions that last all night and leave you feeling incredible. The problem is that most of us don’t have the stamina to go that long. We are lucky if we manage a hot half an hour of sex, including foreplay. However it seems that on average sex lasts for less than 10 minutes.
It takes longer to cook a meal… so what gives? Why is it that sex lasts for so little time for so many people? And is it possible to change that for the better?
Just 10 minutes of sex
You might think that this is just a number someone has plucked off of the top of their head and decided that it is fact. Unfortunately it isn’t. This is something that Lovehoney has come up with. They ran the Mind the Gap campaign to look at the distances between couples and help them come together more often. And we don’t just mean come together for sex. We mean come. Together.
Sharing orgasms is a hell of a turn on in bed and feels great, but when surveying over 4,000 couples, Lovehoney discovered that there is an orgasm gap… in that we aren’t having as many together as we should be doing.
They looked at things how much foreplay we enjoy before sex, how often we cum with our partner, and how long sex lasts. It turns out we aren’t fucking anywhere near as long as we were hoping to. In fact, they found out that the majority of people will have sex for just under 10 minutes. And this would be fine, if it worked, but just over half of those surveyed said that this amount of time was enough for them.
10 minutes is a ridiculously short amount of time to have sex and get both people involved to orgasm. There aren’t many other things that you can do successfully in ten minutes. You could boil an egg, do your make-up, hang clothes out to dry. But that’s about it. So why are we spending so little time on sex?
Too many distractions
The main problem for people is that there are too many distractions for us. We’ll get in from a tough day at work and not be in the mood for sex. Yes, sex would make us feel better and completely turn our day around, but we don’t have the energy to put into it.
We’ll get in and just want to slob on the sofa with Netflix on. We might choose to binge our favourite show and sit next to our partner without saying much to them all evening. We’ll then slip into bed because we are too tired for sex. If we do have sex, it doesn’t last long enough to get any satisfaction from it.
Sure, fucking in under 10 minutes is fine if you are after a quickie, but for regular sex? You need to spend more time making sure sex lasts… but how?
Make sex last longer by…
There are plenty of different things that you can do to make sure sex lasts long enough for you both to cum, and cum in a big way. Some of the suggestions might not sound like your cup of tea, and if not then you can share your own with us! Simply scroll down to the comment box and tell us what you think. Want to know how to make sure sex lasts longer than ten minutes? Read on.
Setting a sex schedule
This probably sounds like the least sexy thing that you could do, but sitting down with your partner and arranging a time to fuck is going to be one of the best solutions for you both. It means that you have a dedicated time for sex already set up!
Plus, you’ll find that it is the best foreplay of all, knowing you are going to have sex. You’ll be sitting in the office on a Friday afternoon, counting down the hours until you can fuck. It’ll be intense and a lot of fun for you both! Why not try teasing each other with a countdown as you work? A quick text saying “3 hours to go” is going to really turn them on.
Set a timer
According to the Mind the Gap campaign, when we include foreplay in the time we spend having sex, we add an extra ten minutes to it. This is great! It shows that, when included, we are taking our time to turn our partner on. And still it isn’t enough.
So what can you do? Well, you can set a timer for sex. After foreplay, get a timer going. Leave it running while you fuck. You can have sex any way you want as long as you adhere to one rule: you cannot cum until the timer runs out. When it does run out, that is your cue to cum. You’ll find that it leads to a hell of an intense orgasm for you both and is a great way to make sex last longer!
Edging
Edging is a popular technique for those who want to last longer in bed but struggle to. It involves finding your point of no return, which is when you cannot stop your orgasm from happening. When you’ve found it, the key is to push yourself as close to it as possible without going over.
This means taking regular breaks. Found that your orgasm is fast approaching and your partner hasn’t cum yet? Pull out and go down on her. It’ll give you a break, helping you last longer, and give you a chance to make her cum. What more could you ask for?
So how long should sex last? For me, I think it should be at least fifteen minutes of fun. But what do you think? Are you ambitious? Do you think you can fuck all night? Vote in the poll below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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