The Problem With ‘Sex Lists’

Earlier this year, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan drew up a list detailing all 36 of her sexual partners. The ‘sex dossier’ mentioned such names as Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron and Aston Kutcher.

The reasons behind Lohan making the decision to create this list are open to debate. One theory is that she did it whilst drunk with friends. Lohan herself said she made it whilst in therapy.

Whatever the reason, many women have decided to follow Lohan’s example. Unfortunately, as you can probably guess, the results for many, have not been spectacular.

Semi naked blonde woman plays with her phone whilst smiling on a bd

Major Problems

In a recent article in the New York Post, a number of 20 and 30-somethings told of their experiences of drawing up their own lists, including a 26-year-old radio producer whose mother found her 19 man list and a 29-year-old editor who stopped keeping hers when it hit 35, as it completely put her off casual sex.

Relationship expert Laurie Puhn states that it really is a dangerous decision to create a ‘sex list’.

“I’ve heard a lot about this kind of thing in college dorms. It’s called immaturity, the modern equivalent of notches on a bed post.

“It’s using sex to increase your self-esteem and your image to others, but it puts a label on you, it defines who you are and that’s not healthy.

“Going on to share a list of past lovers with friends, without the consent of those exes, that’s just disgusting, it’s beyond invasive.”

Frank Love, a Washington based relationship expert questions whether people will feel pressurised by friends, or even their partner to draw up a list of their previous sexual exploits.

He said: “When we’re younger, we tend to ask questions like that – how many lovers have you had? What were they like? These questions are so loaded – there’s nothing good that can come of them

“While reflection is always positive, past sexual history, whatever it is, should be irrelevant when it comes to new relationships.”

Black woman on top of white man in shower having sex.

I think this is the crux of it. For me, what has gone on in my past, or the past of any of my girlfriends need to remain in our respective heads. Nothing good can ever come of talking about previous sexual exploits so what is the point in bothering?

Don’t Trust Anyone

In 2010, Karen Owen, a graduate, decided to write a mock “unofficial senior thesis” for three friends in which she provided information on all of the 16 men she had slept with during her four years at North Carolina’s Duke University. She apparently went into rather intimate detail during her power-point presentation.

Needless to say, a least one of her friends leaked the paper, causing great upset to Miss Owen and severe annoyance to all the guys she had been with.

I am not one to judge other people, but I know that I will keep the list of Dublin escorts I have seen to myself. It is no-one else’s business but mine and theirs.

And that is the way it is staying!

Martin Ward
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Martin Ward

Martin Ward is a well respected editor and writer with over five years experience in the adult industry. After stints in the Escort Advertising call centre and on the escort forum, he moved into the site editor position around three years ago.

Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.

When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
Martin Ward
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