We don’t always have the kind of mind-blowing and amazing sex that we hope we will. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel good. It might be that we aren’t compatible with our partner, or that the chemistry we need to make sex good isn’t there. When that happens it can be tempting to fake orgasms instead.
Most people accept that women fake orgasms in bed. Studies have shown that as many as 80% fake it. However, people seem to forget that men will fake it too.
Men fake orgasms too, but the way that people react to this information makes it seem like big news. “How do they hide it?” and “it’s easy for men to come” are the obvious responses, so why are we surprised when men fake it?
Why do we fake it
If you have ever faked an orgasm then you’ll know that there are plenty of different reasons for it. When you just aren’t in the mood for sex, faking it will get it over with quicker. People see the orgasm as the goal of sex, and so once you ‘orgasm’ that’s sex done with. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner just by moaning and groaning as though you are coming.
For those who simply aren’t enjoying the sex, it can be difficult to admit to your partner that they aren’t giving you the kind of stimulation you want and need. It can sometimes come across as harsh criticism, and when that happens we might just fake an orgasm. That way, our partner feels they have done enough to get us off and we avoid a potentially awkward conversation.
Yes, it would be much simpler to talk to our partner about what we want and what works for us, but many people feel uncomfortable talking about sex. So instead they’ll just fake it and hope for the best.
Thoughts on the male orgasm
When we think about those who might fake an orgasm, we tend to think of women. Most of us remember that scene from ‘When Harry Met Sally’, where Sally fakes an orgasm in a restaurant to make a point that women fake it more. But men fake it too, and for some reason, this is ignored.
Why is it ignored? People tend to assume that it is easier for men to reach orgasm. It isn’t always. In fact, a large number of men have to deal with penis problems such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or delayed ejaculation… to name but a few.
This can make it very tempting for men to fake orgasms, especially when their partner isn’t so understanding of this penis problems. They might not know how to cope with them, or they might feel that it is something they are doing wrong. If a man fakes it, it takes the pressure off of him to explain this potential problem.
Men fake orgasms too
The bottom line is that men fake orgasms too. In fact, a study from the University of Kansas has suggested that one in four men have faked it during vaginal sex. Still, people are shocked by this information. They want to know how it is that men fake it, when the male orgasm seems so much more obvious.
It seems that condoms make it easier to hide, and that really all you have to do is pump harder and moan. The condom ends up in the bin anyway, so your partner won’t know that you didn’t come.
The problem is that people are more likely to fake it instead of admitting that they aren’t enjoying the sex, or that it just isn’t doing it for them. Is it really so difficult to talk to your partner about sex?
Have you ever faked it?
I have admitted before that I’ve faked orgasms in the past. The reasons vary each time, but more often than not it was because I had difficulty talking to my partner at the time about what it is what that I wanted in bed.
This is a common reason for faking it, but people are still shocked to learn that men fake orgasms too. Why? Why are we surprised by this? Have you ever faked it?
Let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below. Tell us if you have ever faked it, and if you have ever been caught faking it.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.