How Long Should Sex Last?

Do you feel like your sex life is far from what it is supposed to be? Are you upset because your relationship doesn’t live up to the fireworks you see in movies?

Woman on top of man having sex
Young affectionate couple getting intimate on rug in living room

There’s no Prince Charming giving you butterflies and no Princess making everything sparkle around you, are there? And don’t tell me, you either last way too long in bed or you finish too fast, right?

Yes, these are the issues we all have to deal with. With all the info we get from everywhere, we have to ask ourselves: what is actually “normal”? What should we be shooting for?

So, how about forgetting all about what we see in porn movies, romantic comedies or what we read online, and concentrate a bit on us, as human beings and on our own sexual desires and pleasures?

Sex Is Like Pizza…

Who doesn’t love having sex? Of course, we all do, just as much as we love pizza. And you know what they say about pizza: when it’s good, it’s really good and when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. We could say the same thing about sex, right?

Think about it, if people didn’t like sex, no matter if it’s bad or good, Tinder wouldn’t exist. So, why so many complaints about having fast sex? Is it so bad to have 5 minutes of sex, or this is just another negative aspect brought in our lives by so many misleading sexy and romantic movies?

According to medical researchers, normal intercourse is supposed to last anywhere from three to seven minutes. What? Are your standards higher? You know what a quickie is, don’t you? Of course, if you switch positions and play a little bit, you can last around 15 minutes.

Before you make a weird face and become judgmental, let me tell you that NO, people who last 10 minutes in bed, do not suffer from premature ejaculation. This refers to intercourse that lasts less than two minutes. And in the past, this was a “the disease” for people who ejaculated before even getting into the vagina. So, yes, you’re OK!

What Do Women Want?

That is a good question, isn’t it? Men are so focused on being satisfying in bed that they totally forget what is important. Actually, in a perfect world, the intercourse doesn’t need to last more than 10 minutes. Of course, the “whole thing” involves a sexy foreplay before the penetration. Since men are so damn focused on lasting long, they completely forget about the foreplay and what women want.

Women want attention, don’t they? So what if it lasts for five minutes? It’s nice to have a quickie once in a while, isn’t it? And if both people are passionate and “in the moment” those 5 minutes can be more than a whole porn movie.

So, How Long Should You Go?

While we have to admit that memorable sex needs a bit more time and attention than a quickie, you should go as long as both you and your partner feel comfortable to. Yes, hot sex needs foreplay, making eye contact, flirting and whatever sex games you like, but even with these, there’s no need for your sexy session to last more than 25 minutes.

Good sex is not all about the penetration and how long it lasts, is it? Personally, I’ve only had fantastic sex when I felt a connection with my partner, when we paid attention to the foreplay and when it didn’t last too long.

This is why, if you ask me, there is no need to be able to have sex for long periods of time. There are other things that make it hot, besides penetration. But we are all the best judges of our own acts, right? So, if you really enjoy having sex all night long, just do it! However, remember that you are not doing this by yourself ( unless you are) so, make sure your partner actually enjoys it.

Also, remember not to compare yourself, your partner and your relationships with others. This is far from being healthy for yourself, as well as for the connection between you and your companion.

Last but not least, never forget that quality and quantity are two different things, and, unfortunately, one is traded for the other too often nowadays.

So, you might want to concentrate on the quality of your actions, not only outside your bedroom but also in your bed, instead of focusing on the numbers.

Now, depending on the intensity of feelings, of the atmosphere and of so many other aspects anything between 5 and 25 minutes should be perfectly fine. Not everybody likes long foreplay, just like not everybody likes long intercourses.

Of course, if you want it to last longer, just switch positions once in a while. And, since some people easily get bored, remember to use a diversity of techniques. You don’t want your partner to yawn and look at the time while hoping you’ll finish soon, do you?

Anna Smith

Anna Smith

Anna Smith entered the adult industry in 2015. From that moment on, she has become one of the foremost writers around, using her sex industry expertise to bring her readers many fun and fact filled articles.

She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.

When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.
Anna Smith

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