Premature ejaculation. Those two words can strike fear into the hearts of men all over the globe. Any man who suffers from it feels a less than capable lover, and even if it isn’t something that is a problem, it often hangs over your head like the sword of Damocles, especially when you are with a new partner.
Still, it isn’t something that is black and white. What actually counts as premature ejaculation? Everyone has a different opinion.
If we judge normal sexual times by porn, then we are all in trouble. These scenes last forever, giving a false impression of what sex is. In reality, these scenes are spliced up, with the man getting plenty of time to rest, without reaching orgasm. Still, many men have it wrong, as do a number of women who also believe that guys who don’t last 30 minutes from entry to orgasm are rubbish in bed
This is why this research on the average lengths that couples have sex for is so fascinating, and very important. Dr Brendan Zietsch, a psychologist at the University of Queensland brought up a 2005 study recently, which involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four week period.
A stopwatch would be started from the moment the man entered her and would be stopped upon the male orgasm.
The results varied considerably, with some couples lasting 44 minutes on average, and others only managing a depressing 33 seconds.
When all the information was collated, it transpired that the average length of time a man was in a woman was 5.4 minutes. I don’t know about you, but that is a lot shorter than I imagined.
Changing Our Reality
There will obviously be variations as to what is ‘normal’, like how often you have sex, or whether you are with a new partner and super-excited. But what is clear is that the benchmark for what ‘premature ejaculation’ is may be incorrectly high.
If you want to last longer in bed, great. There are techniques for that. However, many of you out there who think you have a problem have no such thing.
We need to start enjoying sex more, and we can start by changing our concept of what premature ejaculation is. Men can feel like the good lovers they likely are, and women can feel less like they are being hard done to.
That really is something to aim for in 2019.